Rimer Posted January 4, 2012 Posted January 4, 2012 My GF of 8 years left me. So i've been out of the dating scene for a longtime and actually my GF hit on me and choose me and was my first love so i've never really had experience in picking up girls/women. I know I first have to get my confidence back and self esteem before I can make any moves to even approach girls. I'm asking whats the best way to approach women. Is it just be yourself and not try to be something your not or what? As you can see I'm pretty lost here Few days later... Something happen out of the blue. The day before new years eve I was over at my friends place about 15 people there 10 which I have never seen before. Made friends with almost all of them. Well didn't get numbers but added on facebook. I got pretty wasted and then something weird happen and i'm pissed off I don't remember everything. I met this great girl. Fantastic and beautiful too and even more than my ex (and she was pretty too) From what I remember and heard from my friends we had a good time, I got a goodnight kiss from her (that I remember) and she forced her phone number onto my phone. We said we'd talk the next day. Well.. I might blew it. We were supposed to see each other at one place the next day and I texted her "where are we doing tonight?" .. and hour later I got a response "hmm.. change of plans i'm going to the big city with my friends" .. eh.. I responded maybe way too needy "Sounds cool. Where to? Got room for me?" <- mistake!!? eh.. it gets worse I guess.. I tried to call her 4-5 hours later as we said we'd call each other the day before.. well she didnt answer.. i left it there.. next day she texted me.. she said she was too wasted to text the night before.. yeah right.. I txted her back it's ok.. does she have a bad hangover?.. nothing from her.. i text again.. that I had a great time and i'd like to meet her again.. I get a text back saying she had a good time too and saying happy new year... nothing about meeting up again... tried calling her yesterday... no response... thats that I guess then My question is.. was I too eager? Did my desperation show threw that badly? Anyways.. Even if I blew this.. The whole situation of another girl showing interest in me gave me a huge confidence boost. I'm still very low in that regard but it really gave me a jolt of life. It's still a long journey ahead of me but now I know I can be liked by someone else besides my ex. That I'm not worthless even tho I've been saying that to myself all the time over analyzing stuff in my head 24/7
carhill Posted January 4, 2012 Posted January 4, 2012 What happens on NYE stays on NYE. I'll opine a mutual, alcohol or drug-induced situational ego feed. The only change I'd suggest, save for realizing that most of these things go nowhere, is to make that first contact via phone, meaning talking into the small hand-held electronic device. It's more personal and reflective of the interaction which prompted her to 'force' her phone number into your phone. Good luck in your healing. Stay in contact with the friends you met and expand your social circle. Within it will come more potentials.
Author Rimer Posted January 4, 2012 Author Posted January 4, 2012 (edited) What happens on NYE stays on NYE. I'll opine a mutual, alcohol or drug-induced situational ego feed. The only change I'd suggest, save for realizing that most of these things go nowhere, is to make that first contact via phone, meaning talking into the small hand-held electronic device. It's more personal and reflective of the interaction which prompted her to 'force' her phone number into your phone. Good luck in your healing. Stay in contact with the friends you met and expand your social circle. Within it will come more potentials. This was a day before NYE. Yah I wanted to call her but one of my friends who goes out on a lot dates said. Hell no don't call her that's too straight forward and said to text her. I listen to him. Mistake I think.. Was I too aggressive or she just wasn't that into me? Edited January 4, 2012 by Rimer
carhill Posted January 4, 2012 Posted January 4, 2012 The only way you'll truly know a woman is 'into you' IMO is when she's holding your hand as you expire after a lifetime of togetherness. That's one man's observation after a lot of positive and negative experiences with women. If a woman gives you her phone number, you call her when you *feel* like it. If that is the next day, that. Next week, that. Never, that. Care less how that appears to her or how it might affect her perception of you. All that stuff is nebulous. If she likes you, you can never call too soon Whatever you choose to do, keep it brief and set up a *date*. Get to know her one on one without any ambiguity as to where your interest lies. Becoming more assertive can be a change you choose. It's up to you whether that choice is healthy for you or not. Edited to add that you have already one-upped me, as I've never gotten a woman's phone number without asking for it. Kudos!
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