SpleenPoetry Posted January 4, 2012 Posted January 4, 2012 this is about a guy I met in Spanish classes (something I do for fun it's not at school or something, just a hobby). After classes, he's asked me out for a drink 2 times. We really had a nice time. After the Spanish course ended he said to me that we should go to the movies together sometime. so I sent him an email to invite him to the movies and we went to the cinema last friday. It was really nice and at the end of the evening he kissed me. so far so good you'd say right? These things make it sound like he does like me. There are some things that makes me doubt this however... he's always been very touchy feely right from the start (like touching my arm when he talked to me and putting his arm around me when he made a joke). The thing is, he was also touchy feely with another girl in language class (not in a perv way, just touching the arm or laying his hand on her shoulder while saying something to her). What do you guys think? Is he just a touchy feely person in general or is he flirting with different girls? What also worries me, he always takes days to reply to my emails, for example when I sent him that invitation to the movies, it took him 5 days to reply! Maybe he wasn't sure he wanted to go with me and needed a lot of time to think about it? Maybe I'm not that important to him so he didn't care about replying fast? He always carries his smartphone so I find it hard to believe he just hadn't read my email yet. what's your view on this, does he like me or not? I'm really confused. Is it ok to just ask him about his feelings and what he meant by kissing me? Maybe he just felt like kissing, but maybe he has feelings for me...
thatone Posted January 4, 2012 Posted January 4, 2012 maybe he's bad about checking emails? i am. if not for a blackberry i'd never see them. and he would be 'pervy' in your words if you and the other girl didn't find him attractive. there is no 'alot of time' to figure out if i want to go out with a woman or not. if i find her attractive enough to see myself in bed with her, sure, we'll go out on a date and i'll see what i think of the rest. that's it. and that decision can be made in an instant. so the bottom line is you don't know anything about him. if you're calling him and he doesn't answer and doesn't call back for days at a time, he's not that interested. but you can't judge much from people's email and text habits, everyone has different ones.
cerridwen Posted January 4, 2012 Posted January 4, 2012 Spleen, This is a heck of a lot of speculation and over-analyzing. I recommend relaxing the hypervigilance and enjoy this stage of dating. Otherwise, you're missing out on the fun and exciting part. Please don't ask him about the motivations behind kissing you. He wanted to. You both enjoyed it. It doesn't need to lead to 'til death do us part, for it to be lovely. Kissing is a nice activity in and of itself, don't you agree? To see it as more meaningful, at this stage, is to put undue pressure on the entire situation. Consider cooling your jets some as there's an undertone of harried desperation about this post. Perhaps I'm wrong but grasping too tightly in any relationship (even a budding one) is never a good idea.
Author SpleenPoetry Posted January 9, 2012 Author Posted January 9, 2012 thanks for your useful replies
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