Bsham Posted January 4, 2012 Posted January 4, 2012 (edited) A lot of you won't like what I say and a lot will: OK, got dumped by my girl of 2 years 4 months ago. I was well upset hence why I started using these boards. I felt my world ended the first couple of months. Anyway, I decided on NC and very very low contact, 80% for healing, 20% because I thought she might miss me and want me again. remember this: we were both in love, it was a real relationship and we got on very well with minimal arguing if at all. Reason I was dumped is I chose to see my mates too often over her which is a mistake I admit to, learned from and accepted. I'm only human. Well, here's what some of you people here who hope NC works to get them back will hate...she never came back. In fact she spent New years with her new boyfriend and she's happy. Mutual friend told me as I asked for info out of curiosity of what's she's been doing. And here's something for you people who are desperate to heal yourself. 4 months of NC and I'm officially healed. Finding out she had a boyfriend didn't make me feel sad at all. Well, minimally, passingly. I'm really really happy now, feel free and ready to live life. No contact/low contact (once a month text lol) does work my friends but don't hope on them coming back too much. EDIT: If anything changes and she comes back (I don't care either way) I will let you know. I know this relationship she's in is something that would be classed as a rebound as they met within 4 weeks of the split. So watch this space all you peeps who are hoping rebounds don't last. Edited January 4, 2012 by Bsham
Philosoraptor Posted January 4, 2012 Posted January 4, 2012 Good for you. Taking care of yourself first does work and detaching those bonds through NC helps you obtain a passive view of your ex. Like you I harbor no resentment and have found my happiness... and certainly hope that she finds hers somewhere in this world. I'm sending over an e-fist bump, bro
DannyT27 Posted January 4, 2012 Posted January 4, 2012 I'm 1.5 months NC and nothing any different on her side but I feel tons better lol, Still wish she would come bk to make another go of it tho so not completely healed as of yet. Cheers
perfectlyflawed459 Posted January 4, 2012 Posted January 4, 2012 I am glad you are happy That is something many dumpees don't realize, that your happiness and healing should come first when going NC. We get so caught up in trying to make the dumper miss us that we forget that. As for her, the future is so uncertain. You never know, some people come back in a few weeks, some in a few years. But again, that is good you have healed and aren't dwelling on it much anymore.
Sentient6 Posted January 4, 2012 Posted January 4, 2012 I am glad you are happy That is something many dumpees don't realize, that your happiness and healing should come first when going NC. We get so caught up in trying to make the dumper miss us that we forget that. As for her, the future is so uncertain. You never know, some people come back in a few weeks, some in a few years. But again, that is good you have healed and aren't dwelling on it much anymore. I totally agree with perfecltyflawed's post..It's good for you that you have realized and admitted the mistakes you made during the relationship and even better that you decided to put your self and your own happiness first.. Remember time is your friend while in NC. good luck with your healing.
flitzanu Posted January 4, 2012 Posted January 4, 2012 awesome that you're recognizing your "mistakes" but honestly...i doubt it was you. that's one of the most cleverly used blameshifts a girl can have about "you spend too much time doing blah blah blah instead of focusing on ME ME ME." you ARE allowed to have a life outside of a relationship you know
Author Bsham Posted January 5, 2012 Author Posted January 5, 2012 (edited) Thanks for the replies and nice messages of support : ) awesome that you're recognizing your "mistakes" but honestly...i doubt it was you. that's one of the most cleverly used blameshifts a girl can have about "you spend too much time doing blah blah blah instead of focusing on ME ME ME." you ARE allowed to have a life outside of a relationship you know lol yeah probably. She did suffocate me a bit hence why I rebelled by going out I guess. Good for you. Taking care of yourself first does work and detaching those bonds through NC helps you obtain a passive view of your ex. Like you I harbor no resentment and have found my happiness... and certainly hope that she finds hers somewhere in this world. I'm sending over an e-fist bump, bro Yeah, always sad to let go but it's nice knowing it can be done. I'm hoping people read this and understand what NC is about. Too many people here think NC is for getting them back. They don't always, my ex proved it. Life doesn't end when a relationship ends, it just begins again. Edited January 5, 2012 by Bsham
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