Million.to.1 Posted January 4, 2012 Posted January 4, 2012 So I broke no contact and txted my Ex on New Years day. I said .. .Happy New years you I asked for no contact after the break-up..(6 weeks ago) and broke it twice in the first month, once to organise a friend to pick up a BBQ i gave him, and another time to tell him that that all his facebook posts were public and could he change his settings please. ( we are on restricted profiles ) I did explain that i needed NC to heal and move forward and not for any other reason. He has always responded politely and never left me waiting. He didn't reply to my new years Txt. I really just wanted a "and you too" or something. So 12 hours later I sent another one... "Well, I wish it to you, even if I no longer deserve the same sentiments" I didn't get a reply to this either. Now I feel like he hates me, he is over me and doesn't care about me at all anymore. I know i shouldn't have sent anything... I am such a fool. I don't know why he would choose to deliberately ignore me.. It's not like him at all. He has been having a great time since the BU. Reconnected with the previous ex and they are friends again now. Been partying hard, drinking heaps and is Mr Popular. I did check his facebook from my friends phone who is his friend too and saw all the fun he has been having. It sucks. I always felt he was too good for me.. could get any girl he wants.. is loyal and honest and really good-looking. It is definitely my loss. The only solace i find is knowing that if it had lasted any longer, that I would be even worse. I fell in love with him, but he didn't with me. I was just a rebound. He was the best thing to happen to me in YEARS. I just can't seem move on. He is in my head ALL THE TIME. I feel like he was everything I ever wanted in a partner and i ruined it. We were together such a short time everything went too fast, and I pushed to hard and scared him away. I just can't forgive myself. I just want to be indifferent!!
jmy33 Posted January 4, 2012 Posted January 4, 2012 Wow, reading this is like deja-vu of my ex girlfriend and me. I too broke the no contact rule on new years, which was about 3 months after the BU, and since have not been able to stop checking my phone hoping to see that text from her. She too is now Miss Popular and is always out drinking and having a good time with all her new friends. The best thing for me has been keeping busy and surrounding myself with friends. However, I still find myself thinking about her every morning and night. Ive found it helpful to write all my emotions, feelings, memories (good or bad) down on a piece of paper. Put on a good radio station, (ive been listening to the Secondhand Serenade radio on Pandora.) It's good, calm music that has a lot to do with relationships. I'm sorry for what you are going through, and I wish I could help more. Best luck and wishes. Happy New Year!
Philosoraptor Posted January 4, 2012 Posted January 4, 2012 No contact is for you and you are the only one who can keep it going. Maybe his non response will push you in the right direction. Maybe he hates you... maybe he changed numbers... maybe he is hurting too and going NC for himself. It shouldn't matter what his reasons were and as you know you were not ready to send a text with no strings attached and you got hurt because of it. Take care of yourself and live your life for you right now.
Exit Posted January 4, 2012 Posted January 4, 2012 Don't keep punishing yourself, it's not your fault. I was extremely tempted to contact my ex on NYE as well, it was even harder than Xmas since NYE is more of a romantic holiday where you're supposed to be together at midnight. Somehow I resisted, and usually I'm horrible at NC. But I feared not getting a response. Stop looking around on Facebook. I deleted mine completely and it's refreshing not to care about that crap. I can relate to everything your saying, ex always on your mind, having a hard time forgiving yourself, and wishing for the peace of finally feeling indifferent. Gotta try to find other things to occupy your mind, that way some day you'll have that moment where he pops into your head and you can say "oh wow I hadn't even been thinking about him for the last few days" and that will feel good. But this is all easier said than done, I wish I could heal quicker too.
Author Million.to.1 Posted January 5, 2012 Author Posted January 5, 2012 Thanks for the replies... I just really didn't think he would ignore me. Whatever the reason is, doesn't matter.. that much is true, but I never did anything wrong and I don't deserve to be snubbed. It makes me wonder what he is saying to mutual friends... I think his ex (who he wasn't over when we got together) is now single again too. I put money on it that they will re-connect. He just hasn't had the balls to admit to himself that he still loves her. She was always in contact with him throughout our relationship, even though she had a boyfriend, she would never leave him alone, and of course, he always let her. Maybe he feels guilty about it and that's why he didn't reply. It hurts so much. I never stood a chance.
Philosoraptor Posted January 5, 2012 Posted January 5, 2012 Doesn't sound like either of them were emotionally mature enough to move on. It may hurt but you have dodged a bullet as this one never let himself heal enough to move on. His reasons for not replying do not matter. There are millions of reasons he may not have messaged back and wondering will not get you anywhere. "To be angry is to let others' mistakes punish yourself. To forgive others is to be good to yourself." - Master ChengYen
YouNeverKnow86 Posted January 5, 2012 Posted January 5, 2012 Thanks for the replies... I just really didn't think he would ignore me. Whatever the reason is, doesn't matter.. that much is true, but I never did anything wrong and I don't deserve to be snubbed. It makes me wonder what he is saying to mutual friends... I think his ex (who he wasn't over when we got together) is now single again too. I put money on it that they will re-connect. He just hasn't had the balls to admit to himself that he still loves her. She was always in contact with him throughout our relationship, even though she had a boyfriend, she would never leave him alone, and of course, he always let her. Maybe he feels guilty about it and that's why he didn't reply. It hurts so much. I never stood a chance. Million, Everything you have said relates to my situation. My ex girlfriend and I moved fast, it was intense and bam she just ended it out of nowhere. Her ex boyfriend after 2 years contacted her out of the blue and now they have reconnected as friends.......Who knows what is going on in that department. She too has ignored me and cut herself out of my life. I sent her a Merry Christmas text (5 months post breakup, 3 months N/C) and too didn't get a response. It is what it is and the best thing to do is try to move on. All I know is that she is still single but the fact her and her ex recommunicated drove me nuts for awhile. The fact is you need to get yourself out there and have a good time.
salnyc Posted February 10, 2012 Posted February 10, 2012 million Woman broke up with me; just before xmas. Is now with her "best friend" who is 20 years older than her (I'm older too, but not that much). It has been very hard to avoid contact, but in the end, with all the checking online (facebook, linkedin, his blog) it's like picking at a scab. We all have to heal. No matter what we think the ex is doing, it doesn't matter in terms of our own moving on. I hope you can; I know it is hard. Be well.
Recommended Posts