huskers11 Posted January 3, 2012 Posted January 3, 2012 My dating life in the past year has been a mess. I was super heartbroken by my ex about a year ago now. When I finally started dating, I saw this guy named D for a short time. He wasn't a very good guy but we have been randomly hooking up in the past 4 months. We both know what it is and it's just sex. Then I dated R, who I found out had a girlfriend and was only using me to cheat on her. Lastly, I was/am(not sure but I think he's done) seeing J. With him, I explained things and told him we were gonna take it slow and laid everything out there. We haven't seen each other in 2 weeks now because of christmas and everything. Well about a week ago, things started to get a little weird because my grandfather committed suicide and I was misplacing my emotions towards J. I know I was being clingy and weird and when I realized this I apologized and explained things. He seemed really understanding and cool with everything and we talked the rest of the day. But then after that night I haven't heard from him since. So it's been 3 full days of not hearing anything from him and I've tried to contact him but nothing. It just stopped out of nowhere. I should probably tell you how I am in the relationships.. I have a tendency to get attached fast and easy for some reason. I hate playing the dating game, so I just tell them how I feel and what's on my mind most days. I don't trust easily but once I do I trust them completely and I care about them with my whole heart. So far, my ex is the only one that's gotten this and I still think the world of him even a year later. I'm pretty easy going, so I don't usually engage in confrontation. I text alot, but I do that with friends too. When I like them, I like spending time with them, maybe it's too much time idk. Outside of a few guys, this is basically my whole dating experience. Nothing too long term, mainly just flings. I don't think it's a confidence issue because I am 100% comfortable being me and I don't change to what I think they want and I stand up for myself 100%. I do know I have a hard time letting go and I have a huge fear of losing people, so when I think I'm losing people I do cling towards them. I'm not sure if this has anything to do with it but my mother was semi-abusive towards me growing up. She was verbally abuse and neglectful but never physically abusive. I hate blaming it on that but I know there is alot of unresolved feelings and memories there. D, my brother, and my friends have all told me I am clingy and needy with guys.. Any ideas on how to change or what I should do differently?
mortensorchid Posted January 3, 2012 Posted January 3, 2012 Honestly? Be out of the game for a bit. If someone asks you out, say no. Time alone is nice to readjust and reassess. And then when you feel that you have had time away to do your own thing, go back. Hopefully you will not fall back into the same old habits that you have cited here.
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