ginastar Posted January 3, 2012 Posted January 3, 2012 I met up with my ex after barely any contact over the past year and not seeing him a little over a year. He said he missed me and brought up problems we had in the past (almost like trying to explain himself). He was extremely flirty, almost to the point if I went along more we might have hooked up. Thing is...he is still with the girl he has been with since 3 weeks after the break up. They are still together to this day. So, I really question if he sincerely missed me, if he was just looking to get some, is thinking of dumping the new girl, if he possibly can still be in love with her? Just looking for some insight without hearing the typical "just move on he is an *******" comment.
Philosoraptor Posted January 3, 2012 Posted January 3, 2012 It seems like he is ready to ditch this new person and there is no safer landing spot then someplace familiar. If he does come back he will most likely leave again unless he has truly taken the time to examine himself and the past relationship and used that information to mature emotionally.
Kamila Posted January 3, 2012 Posted January 3, 2012 Smells like he has nostalgia and wants to try again with you. If he was single you could envisage attempt n°2 at getting back with him. But, he has a girl, so he's not free. I would confront him and ask what his intentions are with you and his current girl. Also talk about the problems you both had in the past and how you could resolve them. Try thinking with your head and not with your heart. Suppose he would leave his current girl for you, would you trust him ? Would you know for sure he won't go back to the other girl ? When my bf (well now ex bof) and I got together, he told me he broke up with his previous girl 3 weeks ago... (I was like: ... I thought you broke up with her months ago ???...) Basically he lied to me and was almost begging me to not leave him. Maybe I should have. What I want to say is: he should be single for awhile and decide what he wants. He can't have both.
Author ginastar Posted January 3, 2012 Author Posted January 3, 2012 well he didnt say he wants to try with me again and he hasnt contacted me at all since I met up with him. He did admit that hes with someone. So I really couldnt figure out why he initiated this meeting to begin with.
Kamila Posted January 3, 2012 Posted January 3, 2012 It seems like he doesn't know what he wants. Maybe he wants you to make a move or so. It reminds me of Alice in Wonderland ... Alice: I was just wondering if you could help me find my way. Cheshire Cat: Well that depends on where you want to get to. Alice: Oh, it really doesn't matter, as long as... Cheshire Cat: Then it really doesn't matter which way you go.
susanfollows Posted January 3, 2012 Posted January 3, 2012 Pa-lease ppl! I know what this guy wants and it's not a relationship, he wants some on the side and figures where better to get it than with an ex he already broke up with, she'd have no expectations of them being together! Stay away cuz I got a feeling he's trying to sleep around!
BoredAgain Posted January 3, 2012 Posted January 3, 2012 Proceed with caution. It's impossible to know what he wants. However, if he's flirting with his Ex GF (you) while still dating the new girl, then I smell trouble. It really doesn't bode well for this new relationship, and if it implodes... well, how much could he have possibly grown over the past 1.5 years?
wilsonx Posted January 4, 2012 Posted January 4, 2012 Jeez Louise, So much jadedness in this thread.... Bored... how much growing up can you do in a year and a half? A LOT? Gina... he was relieve some guilt that he had stored up... hes not looking for anything right now or in the near future, this was just a hey, we sucked at this but guess what im doing better type meetup. If he apologized for anything wrong on his part, thats a good sign
Author ginastar Posted January 4, 2012 Author Posted January 4, 2012 I really didnt think he was showing me that he improved and is better. You think telling a girl your with someone and then hitting on them (saying inappropriate, dirty things and being very touchy) is showing them you are a good guy and have grown to a better person??
oldguy Posted January 4, 2012 Posted January 4, 2012 It seems like he is ready to ditch this new person and there is no safer landing spot then someplace familiar. If he does come back he will most likely leave again unless he has truly taken the time to examine himself and the past relationship and used that information to mature emotionally. Damn! Philosoraptor did it again, stole what I would have said
BoredAgain Posted January 4, 2012 Posted January 4, 2012 Bored... how much growing up can you do in a year and a half? A LOT? Right, it's possible to do a lot of growing up in 1.5 years. But in this particular instance, it doesn't seem like he's done much of it.
Author ginastar Posted January 4, 2012 Author Posted January 4, 2012 Right, i agree that he hasnt grown up much. But I thought he was begining to not like this new girl and then I find out that he was with her all through December doing all family stuff etc. So I was confused to realize that there relationship is not deteriorating ....
Author ginastar Posted January 6, 2012 Author Posted January 6, 2012 so with this additional information, does everyone still think he is starting to want out of his new relationship or no?
Philosoraptor Posted January 6, 2012 Posted January 6, 2012 so with this additional information, does everyone still think he is starting to want out of his new relationship or no? He may want out but it should not matter to you. He has not matured enough to last in a relationship which is why he was testing the waters with you before leaving his current girlfriend. He will continue down this path until he matures so do not fall for his words; watch his actions. Could you respect him or yourself knowing he used you as his "safe option" to rebound to?
2sunny Posted January 6, 2012 Posted January 6, 2012 so with this additional information, does everyone still think he is starting to want out of his new relationship or no? Based on what you've typed here; He didn't outright say he wanted to be with you and only you. His actions say he wants to stay with the other gal and see if you will meet with him so he can use you. Did he tell his GF he was meeting you? Would you like it IF you were her? I wouldn't! And his lack of character would be enough for me to never consider him again! My gut says he wanted to see if you might be willing to help him cheat...
Author ginastar Posted January 7, 2012 Author Posted January 7, 2012 so if hes meeting his ex to use and cheat on his new girl...how much can he possibly like the new girl? also, what idiot does that to an ex? doesnt he realize im only going to assume he cheated on me also?
Philosoraptor Posted January 9, 2012 Posted January 9, 2012 Your ex has no idea what he wants and wants to keep all of the secure landing spots he can until he makes his mind up. Make his mind up for him and for yourself cut all off all communication.
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