confusedandupset Posted January 3, 2012 Posted January 3, 2012 So, my ex bf of almost 3 years, who has been completely no contact with me for the past 6 mths (the entirety of our break up) ends up seeing me on new years. I had no clue he was going to be there and neither did he; we mutually found out about our attendance to the party by pulling up at the same time. Obviously I tried to be cordial with him, cause this was my shot to prove to friends that I was okay....well that back fired. My mutual friends friend has an interest in me, and isn't ashamed to let me or the people around us know. So, throughout the entire night my ex kept seeing this gut hit on me, and he heard stories about his friends hitting on me. He got mad that I was drinking beer, cause he "tried for three years to get me to drink beer". So he got a little drunk, started being a real ass to his friend, and then he came outside with me when I went out to smoke. This was my dream come true, he was going to profess all things id wanted to hear for 6 mths...... The surprising part was he did. He spent the time talking about how much he's missed me and missed our relationship, that he had spent the day recalling what he had done on new years and that he did it with me. He called me babe, asked me for hugs, told me that he still loves me, and that he wasn't okay with the situation we were in, even recited my phone number to prove that he still knew it. I became jubilant, thinking that perhaps things were fixing itself. He was hearing how much positive change was going on in my life. Hell he even asked to keep hanging after the party, which we did and we just spent the night talking. Now he's gone MiA since then, and I was informed by someone that snooped (my best friend that doesn't trust him) that a girl he's been talking to on Facebook posted a picture with him, and he wrote all Over her wall. I just can't understand what he was doing or how to feel about this situation. Was he just drunk, was he saying the truth, was he hoping I'd sleep with him, or was this his way of removing the guilt so he could get in a relationship with someone else. I feel like a moron, and it's made me so sad to think that he nights had used me in any of these ways. I just really need insight and advice.
Philosoraptor Posted January 3, 2012 Posted January 3, 2012 This is what happens when one doesn't take the time to mature emotionally. He was jealous and got upset by seeing someone else mark what used to be his territory. One needs to take the time to examine themselves and the past relationship in order to ever make a true second run.
geegirl Posted January 3, 2012 Posted January 3, 2012 If you haven't heard from him in 6 months, why would a drunken revelation at a chance meeting give you so much hope that things are taking a turn? He was probably excited to see you, got caught up in the moment. He possibly misses what you both had and seeing you, brought it all back and he indulged, and it was probably magnified by alcohol. Probably an ego stroke seeing that your jubilation was probably written all over your face. In any case, he's gone missing. If any of his words carried any weight, you'd at least have heard something from him. No one can possibly pin point his intent, but you can clearly see that his words are not matching his actions.
Author confusedandupset Posted January 3, 2012 Author Posted January 3, 2012 Yeah, I feel pretty foolish letting myself get so enveloped in everything he was feeding me. I tried so hard to change the topic when he would begin reminiscing. But in a way I let myself believe I wanted to hear all the things I thought I wanted to hear. The last time I had spoken to him was a month ago when I sent him my condolences. He told me he had kept my phone number, even though he also stated that he had considering deleting it. Yeah, he has the ability of always saying one thing and behaving in a way that would suggest the contrast. I just wish he would have saved me this grief. Especially if he was pursuing someone else.
M2155 Posted January 3, 2012 Posted January 3, 2012 It was such an in-the-moment reaction. I've been on the receiving end of those too. I'm so glad last time I ran into an ex I didn't even imagine to think it meant anything (I just took it as my own ego stroke;)). I almost think they do it to make themselves feel good, and they probably do reminisce about you in that moment but the next day they remember the consequences/challenges of getting involved. It's EASY to get caught up when your drunk and in each other's presence but to actually have to make an effort is a different story...
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