arbrne_vet Posted January 3, 2012 Posted January 3, 2012 Well, we were supposed to meet new years eve, but Friday i decided to get away, and go see an old army buddy of mine. she was supposed to call me sometime Friday, for us to get together and talk about what happened Thursday.... and i never heard from her. so, after work i called her and told her i was getting away for the weekend. the whole time i was up there, i was wondering if i did the right thing. we were supposed to get together new year's eve, and i blew her off. it ate at me the whole time i was up there. i think it was good for me to get away. i did send her a happy new year text, and she responded. was on the phone with her when i was up there, and listened to how everything was my fault. she brought up the past again, and i told her i have apologized for it several times, and i will not apologized for it anymore. i called her on the way home, and wanted to see her, and she did not want to, so i left it at that. we have been talking on the phone. i told her i wanted to get with her this weekend, i had some steaks, and a bottle of wine. she said it depended on what her kids were doing. she has called me the past two nights before she went to bed. i am not really sure about the whole NC thing. i know if i do go NC, she will view this as ignoring her, as this is what she has said in the past. i will not go NC, but will greatly limit my contact with her. time for me to worry about me. i am working on "my" game plan. no, this is not going to be easy, but it is something i must do. i have gone back re-read everything from my last post. i in no way take any offense to anything said, and receive it with an open mind. i know i have a couple issues i need to deal with. so, here goes my first step....
Philosoraptor Posted January 3, 2012 Posted January 3, 2012 If you feel like going NC will help you who cares what she thinks of it? Your job is to take care of yourself, not her.
geegirl Posted January 3, 2012 Posted January 3, 2012 I really hope you have a "game plan" because you've been in limbo land since April (when you first posted your story). I went back and read your threads. Eight months have gone by and you're still on a push and pull cycle. I'm not sure what your objective is for setting LC boundaries other than to still keep the door open as you clearly still want her back but I hope that while you do this you don't continue the cycle of just focusing on her while it all passes you by. There has to come a time when you start looking at the bigger picture. It doesn't matter how she views NC if NC is implemented for the sake of your sanity and emotional wellbeing. If you're worried about what NC means to her, you are just not ready to let go. I hope LC works out for you. It will either propel you or keep you stuck.
Author arbrne_vet Posted January 3, 2012 Author Posted January 3, 2012 i have a good idea of what i need to do. the picture is clearer now than it was a few months ago. does this mean it will be easier, no, but it is cleaner, and in time, and with some serous soul searching, yes, as far as what i need to do, hopefully it will be easier. i realize how much i have been ignoring "me", and allowing her to pull all the strings. i don't want to turn this into a "power" game. i am taking some steps toward myself. i have a relationship addiction book on reserve at the library. will get it in a couple days. a few things mac pointed out hit me between the eyes, in a good way. do i still want this to work with us, yes, but in a healthy way. i need to work on me. if things get better, then great. if they stay the same, if she keeps distant, then i need to move on. i remember before i met her... i was sooo full of life. i was on fire, and i was the envy of all my friends. nothing stopped me, nothing slowed me down, nothing defeated me. then i met her, fell head over heals in love. i need to get me back. i need that person that was on fire. oh by the way, what does LC mean??
EgoJoe Posted January 3, 2012 Posted January 3, 2012 OP: I think you would do well to stop letting her define (your) reality and be objective with regard to the facts.
Chi townD Posted January 3, 2012 Posted January 3, 2012 Dude, you really, REALLY need to cut this girl loose. You really need to move on. You do need to find a girl that WANTS to spend time with you and wants to be with you and you alone! I don't know how many more times you need to be told this. I'm not trying to be mean, but she isn't the only girl on the planet!
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