gingerpounder Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 Hello, heres a bit of backstory. my girlfriend broke up with me after a 17 month relationship and began dating someone else in a matter of weeks. It looks like a huge mixmatch but they seem pretty happy. Its only been like 2 months for them and the new guy is known for not keeping long relationships. Knowing my luck, they will last forever. She seemed heartless by how she handled the breakup but just last night, we talked about the great thing we had and she showed a more caring side to her for once. Im only in grade 11 and we dated through grade 9 and 10. I just can't seem to get over her. Im inexperienced and learned alot from my mistakes, and given the opportunity again, I wouldn't make these same mistakes twice. Any advice on what I should do or any info on your own rebound experiences? Don't just tell me to move on, I heard that a million times. I understand its the right thing to do, but I cant bring myself to do it at the moment. Thanks! Any questions, just ask.
MIK1000 Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 Hello, heres a bit of backstory. my girlfriend broke up with me after a 17 month relationship and began dating someone else in a matter of weeks. It looks like a huge mixmatch but they seem pretty happy. Its only been like 2 months for them and the new guy is known for not keeping long relationships. Knowing my luck, they will last forever. She seemed heartless by how she handled the breakup but just last night, we talked about the great thing we had and she showed a more caring side to her for once. Im only in grade 11 and we dated through grade 9 and 10. I just can't seem to get over her. Im inexperienced and learned alot from my mistakes, and given the opportunity again, I wouldn't make these same mistakes twice. Any advice on what I should do or any info on your own rebound experiences? Don't just tell me to move on, I heard that a million times. I understand its the right thing to do, but I cant bring myself to do it at the moment. Thanks! Any questions, just ask. You don't want hear that you should move on? There's not much else i can tell you. The worst advice i could give you is to try and wait out the rebound period, because it could last for a long time. Given that you're still in school though, it probably won't. Best advice is to carry on with your life, make yourself better, maybe start hitting the gym and get yourself into great shape, get yourself looking good, some new clothes, new hair cut and start chatting to new girls. If she see's you at parties and you're looking better than ever then it's obviously going to make her pay attention. After doing all that, you'll probably be feeling so good about yourself that you won't be so bothered about her rebound relationship ending or not.
Author gingerpounder Posted December 30, 2011 Author Posted December 30, 2011 thank you for the advice. I appreciate it. Ive been going to the gym for almost a month now. She keeps asking for us to be friends, but i dont know if thats the best idea. Would it piss off her new boyfriend aha? whats your opinion?
flitzanu Posted December 31, 2011 Posted December 31, 2011 thank you for the advice. I appreciate it. Ive been going to the gym for almost a month now. She keeps asking for us to be friends, but i dont know if thats the best idea. Would it piss off her new boyfriend aha? whats your opinion? you don't need to be her friend. she broke up with you to date another guy, why would you see that as a friendly gesture?
ZimboGon Posted December 31, 2011 Posted December 31, 2011 (edited) You sound like me, but younger. Go NC, brother. It'll help you in the end. It'll help you work on yourself. Maybe, as an added benefit she'll miss that you aren't in her life anymore after awhile and come back. MAYBE. But you may not even want her then. Tell her you hope she doesn't regret her decision, tell her you care about her, and tell her not to contact you again. then that is it. Drop out of her life. Keep in mind, the longer you are in her life as a friend, the less she misses you and the more comfy she is with that rebound. Edited December 31, 2011 by ZimboGon
Author gingerpounder Posted January 4, 2012 Author Posted January 4, 2012 She asked me about 4 times to still be friends. I never said yes to any one of those. Next thing I know, she adds me on facebook... Gotta love the decline button . Her new boyfriend just cheated on her several days ago, and according to him, she doesn't even care. Sounds strange aha.
BoredAgain Posted January 4, 2012 Posted January 4, 2012 Any advice on what I should do or any info on your own rebound experiences? Don't just tell me to move on, I heard that a million times. I understand its the right thing to do, but I cant bring myself to do it at the moment. That's sort of like asking, "Can you give me a recipe for chocolate cake that's gluten-free, sugar-free, and contains no dairy or eggs?" I mean, sure I can... but it's going to taste horrible. Same thing here. You don't want us to tell you to move forward with your life, but you want help? Well, I doubt that's going to happen. The sad fact is that the vast majority of relationships at that age fail. Most people your age (and, come to think of it, even many people in their 20s and 30s) simply don't know how to be in a mature relationship. The skill set required for a long-term relationship (things like conflict resolution and boundary setting) take time to learn. The good news, however, is that getting dumped is never as bad as you make it out to be. It's pretty horrible at first, but if you can learn to move on (there, I said it!), improve yourself, and meet new people then often you can find yourself in a much happier place without the Ex.
Author gingerpounder Posted January 5, 2012 Author Posted January 5, 2012 thanks everyone for their advice! Its already started to work and I feel waaaay better now. It's not my loss, it was her's.
Recommended Posts