ech Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 I have been with my bf for 4 months. At first we were moving way to fast so I have slowed down alot, which he hates. Anyways, we were out the other night having drinks and all was well until we got back to his place. I wanted a cigarette (which I only do if I have been drinking, and he know and accepts that) he grabbed them from me, told me no, smashed them up and threw them around the room. He then started screaming at me telling me he wants me to get pissed, he asked why I was staring at guys in the bar, (I dont recall doing so) he had me by the arms (not tight, but wouldnt let go) and just kept screaming at me to get mad, he wants to see me mad. I was so blown away, I am not an angry person, so I clammed up which pissed him off more. So we struggled, a picture got broke. Then he sat down and wanted me to call 911 cause he had stomach pains. So we went to the ER. Thats how it ended. What was he thinking wanting me to get so angry? If I would have we would have broken up and he would have blamed everything on me.
Andy_K Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 At first we were moving way to fast so I have slowed down alot, which he hates. Physically, or in terms of 'relationship' status? Anyways, we were out the other night having drinks and all was well until we got back to his place. I wanted a cigarette (which I only do if I have been drinking, and he know and accepts that) he grabbed them from me, told me no, smashed them up and threw them around the room. He then started screaming at me telling me he wants me to get pissed, he asked why I was staring at guys in the bar, (I dont recall doing so) he had me by the arms (not tight, but wouldnt let go) and just kept screaming at me to get mad, he wants to see me mad. I was so blown away, I am not an angry person, so I clammed up which pissed him off more. So we struggled, a picture got broke. Then he sat down and wanted me to call 911 cause he had stomach pains. So we went to the ER. Thats how it ended. What was he thinking wanting me to get so angry? If I would have we would have broken up and he would have blamed everything on me. Some guys prefer girls with a bit of a fiery spirit. Regardless, this guy sounds like a complete and utter fruitcake. You haven't broken up with him yet why?
ditzchic Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 Your boyfriend sounds crazy. If I were you I would run fast and far. I think he was wasted and trying to get you to show some emotions. That's why he wanted you to "get mad". Are you pretty reserved usually? He went about it in a really effed up way though. If there are problems in your relationship there are better ways to solve them then throwing you around a bit. Please leave. This isn't healthy.
blueskyday Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 My guess is that he feels afraid of his own anger and it provoking you to feel his crap. It's a form of projection. I am a fiesty one myself. Some guys like it. Some don't. I have found that it has more to do with their own stuff than anything else. The secure guys are cool with me, and others, too... And one guy I dated acted just like your guy. He later turned out to be abusive. I am concerned about his comment about you flirting with other guys in the bar, and then trying to get you mad. I think he is the one who is angry inside. I would run.
spice4life Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 Physically, or in terms of 'relationship' status? Some guys prefer girls with a bit of a fiery spirit. Regardless, this guy sounds like a complete and utter fruitcake. You haven't broken up with him yet why? I agree with andyk, what a fruitcake! I also agree with the others...RUN! If a person is right for you they will love, accept and appreciate you for who you are. This guy doesn't sound like he accepts who you are as a person AND he sounds abusive. Who cares if he blames you if you break up! You are better off without him and his crazy nonsense. Please leave him...you deserve someone who will treat you with respect. This guy clearly doesn't respect you as a person.
TheFinalWord Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 I have been with my bf for 4 months. At first we were moving way to fast so I have slowed down alot, which he hates. Anyways, we were out the other night having drinks and all was well until we got back to his place. I wanted a cigarette (which I only do if I have been drinking, and he know and accepts that) he grabbed them from me, told me no, smashed them up and threw them around the room. He then started screaming at me telling me he wants me to get pissed, he asked why I was staring at guys in the bar, (I dont recall doing so) he had me by the arms (not tight, but wouldnt let go) and just kept screaming at me to get mad, he wants to see me mad. I was so blown away, I am not an angry person, so I clammed up which pissed him off more. So we struggled, a picture got broke. Then he sat down and wanted me to call 911 cause he had stomach pains. So we went to the ER. Thats how it ended. What was he thinking wanting me to get so angry? If I would have we would have broken up and he would have blamed everything on me. He was drunk. Its also hard for people to go backwards in a relationship. It barely ever works. For the next guy, go at a healthy pace from the beginning.
chryssy83 Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 Yelling, damaging your property, physically moving or restraining you, accusing you of doing something to make him mad/make him treat you this way...all indications that he is emotionally and physically abusive. You should end this relationship, it will only get worse. If he can't control his anger, you need to make sure that's not gonna be your problem anymore.
Author ech Posted December 31, 2011 Author Posted December 31, 2011 I asked him today why he did it, he said he was trying to get me to show my emotions. He also went off cause I dont "look" him in the eye while having sex. To me thats akward. He said I must be thinking of someone else. wow.
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