ditzchic Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 And why isn't it even a desireable trait anymore? I see so many guys chasing the easiest piece of tail and lying and manipulating to keep it coming back for more. Girls throwing themselves at the first guy that will give them any attention and forcing a "connection" in their head when they really know nothing about the guy. Guys and girls on the interwebz looking for casual sex and hook ups not even caring about who the person writhing on top of them will be... And it seems like if you aren't one of these types or don't find these types to be just simply "open-minded" and "secure with their sexuality" you're written off as too serious and stuffy. Don't get me wrong, I love fun and great sex just as much as the next freak but I really do care more about who the person is attached to the penis than the actual penis itself. Nothing turns me on more than having complete respect and total admiration for the guy that will be throwing it to me. What the hell is the world coming to?!?!?
samsungxoxo Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 Some people just don't really care anymore and yes it's been increasing lately. They probably went from very religious (''wait till marriage types'') to super sex addicts where it should be about getting to know the person well, forming a relationship and then marriage. This is why the decent ones (both men and women) are happily rejecting individuals like the ones you just described. Why should I respect a man that would spend most of his youth on hookers? Then later on in life he finds out he does want to settle down and looks for me? Get lost.....
ThaWholigan Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 Combination of desperation and lack of internal discipline. Possibly lack of true self worth also, attributing much of themselves to their sexuality as opposed to embracing their sexuality as just a figment of the whole. But that's just a guess on my part really. I think most women would be more turned on by having sex with a man they have complete respect and admiration for as well as physically, sexually and emotionally attracted to. Guys looking for casual sex on the internet are usually unlikely to get it btw.
El Brujo Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 Unfortunately dignity has become just like everything else in this crazy Benighted States: for sale to the highest bidder.
somedude81 Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 I've never chased an easy piece of tail. Maybe that was my problem? I've only tried to go for girls that I thought were quality, and never got them.
musemaj11 Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 Who are you guys to judge whether or not someone should have a certain approach in life? One man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter. If you think sex should be something sentimental, thats fine. But that doesnt mean someone who thinks otherwise is somehow wrong in their thinking. It seems to me people who are the most judgmental of promiscuous people tend to be people who are sexually inexperienced.
KathyM Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 Who are you guys to judge whether or not someone should have a certain approach in life? One man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter. If you think sex should be something sentimental, thats fine. But that doesnt mean someone who thinks otherwise is somehow wrong in their thinking. It seems to me people who are the most judgmental of promiscuous people tend to be people who are sexually inexperienced. If it harms others, then it's not a good thing. Guys who use women are not treating women as human beings.
samsungxoxo Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 (edited) It seems to me people who are the most judgmental of promiscuous people tend to be people who are sexually inexperienced.Yet it's ok for the promiscuous people to judge the inexperienced too as ''playing hard to get'' or placing accusations such as being too serious or boring? I seen that happened too. But usually those that take things ''serious'' when it comes to sex are right. It makes no sense treating it as an simple toy to get dicarded. It can bring you STD even with protection (factories can make mistakes too) and besides there is nothing meaningful in getting naked with a stranger. Edited December 30, 2011 by samsungxoxo
samsungxoxo Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 If it harms others, then it's not a good thing. Guys who use women are not treating women as human beings.Yet those are the same hypocrites who later on when they're older looked desperately gf or wife material women (ones with low # or virgins mainly). Guess what happens when none of the decent or self-respecting women wants them? They go back to their old ways, get with the easy women and then complained.
Author ditzchic Posted December 30, 2011 Author Posted December 30, 2011 Who are you guys to judge whether or not someone should have a certain approach in life? One man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter. If you think sex should be something sentimental, thats fine. But that doesnt mean someone who thinks otherwise is somehow wrong in their thinking. It seems to me people who are the most judgmental of promiscuous people tend to be people who are sexually inexperienced. I'm not judging promiscuous people. I'm not perfect and I've made plenty of bad decisions in my life because I've thought with places other than my head. No one is perfect and anyone with a sex drive will have likely made a mistake at some point in their life. I don't care what someone does in their own home. My general philosophy on what people do is 'you do you and I'll do me'. Do what you want and then I will decide whether or not I need people like you in my life. Just don't get offended when I decide I don't. And I don't really view sex as overly sentimental either. If you want to go find a random and have a killer one night stand, please go for it. Just do it with dignity and pride. It is what it is. It's just sex. it doesn't make you "the man", it doesn't make you any cooler than the guy sitting next to you, it doesn't make decent, self-respecting, self-aware people give a crap about you at all. I didn't say I need to be in love to have sex. What I said is I need to respect and admire the person. I would never have sex with someone who's personality disgusts me. I just feel that if you are lying, manipulating or projecting just for the sex, you really need to check yourself. The way I see it, if you have anything to offer the opposite sex, the sex will come to you and you won't need the BS. If you feel you have to play those kiddie games because you have absolutely nothing to offer, it's time to figure out where your life went wrong and fix it....
grkBoy Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 The problem is you're assuming everyone wants the same thing. Seen loads of the usual hot looking low self-esteem bad boy chasing women who get angry and upset on how all the men they desire will pursue hot and easy little things and will walk away from any form of commitment. They'll ask guys like me what these men plan on doing later in life, and I answer "they'll keep chasing hot pieces of tail (as young as they can snag), work, make money, party, and be happy in their own little world." So these women will then ask "what about marriage and family?" I answer: "You're assuming they should want what you want. You need to find someone who wants what you want...and if the only guys who want marriage and commitment don't look like Mr Hottie, then that's the cards you've been dealt." The guys who chase young pieces of trash either just want the sex with little investment, or they're dumb enough to believe they can make a wonderful wife out of those women. The women who put out easily in the hopes a man will love them are the ones who simply don't understand that it partially repels guys, but these particular women are also constantly chasing men who seriously don't want marriage or commitment...or they don't want it with that guy (but they do want to f**k her).
Woggle Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 It seems these days it is either one extreme or the other. People either have no moral code and believe that anything resembling one is old fashioned or they are hyper religious and conservative. Where are all the people in the middle who love to have a good time but don't believe in lying and using people? Where are all the people who have a happy medium in this culture war?
dasein Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 If it harms others, then it's not a good thing. Guys who use women are not treating women as human beings. If the origin of sex was a lie or some type of fraud, then I might agree. Consensual sex, though, for the most part, doesn't involve lies or fraud, and is not something that men "take from" women, but a mutually pleasurable activity that women freely engage in. Women aren't helpless little babies, to think otherwise would be unduly paternalistic.
thatone Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 I just feel that if you are lying, manipulating or projecting just for the sex, you really need to check yourself. The way I see it, if you have anything to offer the opposite sex, the sex will come to you and you won't need the BS. If you feel you have to play those kiddie games because you have absolutely nothing to offer, it's time to figure out where your life went wrong and fix it.... the only reason those men do that is because it's what the easy women want. if they didn't want to be treated that way, those men wouldn't do it because it wouldn't work.
ThaWholigan Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 (edited) The problem is you're assuming everyone wants the same thing. Seen loads of the usual hot looking low self-esteem bad boy chasing women who get angry and upset on how all the men they desire will pursue hot and easy little things and will walk away from any form of commitment. They'll ask guys like me what these men plan on doing later in life, and I answer "they'll keep chasing hot pieces of tail (as young as they can snag), work, make money, party, and be happy in their own little world." So these women will then ask "what about marriage and family?" I answer: "You're assuming they should want what you want. You need to find someone who wants what you want...and if the only guys who want marriage and commitment don't look like Mr Hottie, then that's the cards you've been dealt." The guys who chase young pieces of trash either just want the sex with little investment, or they're dumb enough to believe they can make a wonderful wife out of those women. The women who put out easily in the hopes a man will love them are the ones who simply don't understand that it partially repels guys, but these particular women are also constantly chasing men who seriously don't want marriage or commitment...or they don't want it with that guy (but they do want to f**k her). I love this post, it echos much of my personal feelings, as conflicting as they can be at times. The bolded is interesting. I have been thinking about things and I have a theory about that though, will probably make a thread later. Edited December 30, 2011 by ThaWholigan
Author ditzchic Posted December 30, 2011 Author Posted December 30, 2011 It seems these days it is either one extreme or the other. People either have no moral code and believe that anything resembling one is old fashioned or they are hyper religious and conservative. Where are all the people in the middle who love to have a good time but don't believe in lying and using people? Where are all the people who have a happy medium in this culture war? That was kind of my original point. By dignity I don't mean absolutely refusing to put out for anyone ever until they jump through a series of hoops. I mean someone just doing what they feel without being manipulative or desperate about it. Doing what they REALLY feel, not just what you're penis is telling you to do, or your group of douchey friends are telling you to do, or what the people on Jersey Shore say is cool to do, or what you're twisted little needy psyche is telling you to. That is what I mean by dignified. But I guess to do that, you have to know yourself and how you feel. Which I really think is probably the core of the problem in today's society.
thatone Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 That was kind of my original point. By dignity I don't mean absolutely refusing to put out for anyone ever until they jump through a series of hoops. I mean someone just doing what they feel without being manipulative or desperate about it. Doing what they REALLY feel, not just what you're penis is telling you to do, or your group of douchey friends are telling you to do, or what the people on Jersey Shore say is cool to do, or what you're twisted little needy psyche is telling you to. That is what I mean by dignified. But I guess to do that, you have to know yourself and how you feel. Which I really think is probably the core of the problem in today's society. the problem with being content with yourself is you wind up discontented with people who are not. they become downright insufferable, actually.
Ross MwcFan Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 And why isn't it even a desireable trait anymore? I see so many guys chasing the easiest piece of tail and lying and manipulating to keep it coming back for more. Girls throwing themselves at the first guy that will give them any attention and forcing a "connection" in their head when they really know nothing about the guy. Guys and girls on the interwebz looking for casual sex and hook ups not even caring about who the person writhing on top of them will be... And it seems like if you aren't one of these types or don't find these types to be just simply "open-minded" and "secure with their sexuality" you're written off as too serious and stuffy. Don't get me wrong, I love fun and great sex just as much as the next freak but I really do care more about who the person is attached to the penis than the actual penis itself. Nothing turns me on more than having complete respect and total admiration for the guy that will be throwing it to me. What the hell is the world coming to?!?!? Nothing wrong with it IMO. You need to not be so uptight.
Eve Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 It's nothing new. OP, I think it is best to simply work out what you want and go for it. No point in over thinking what someone else will not even consider. Dignity means nothing to many, not just in terms of who they date. It's just who they are. Sometimes it is a phase, sometimes it really is who they are. I have concluded that there isn't really a problem as such in the dating world, just water finding it's own level within many of the relationship scenarios given here on LS. Try not to get mixed up in it and live a great life. Listen carefully when someone tells you who they are and believe them is my motto - but know where you fit in too. That's true dignity. Take care, Eve x
daphne Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 ditz, I believe that women are doing it themselves. They mistake SATC high sexuality with liberation. If women would respect themselves, the men would follow, ime.
MrNate 2.0 Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 To play Devil's Advocate..: I liken it to a clearance sale, black friday, or anything similar. The costs are at an all time low, and the rewards are plentiful. In a weird way it's almost like saying, 'who can refuse a good sale'..even more..who is going to oppose it? Sex is one of human's most powerful drives, and they will give up many things to get it. It's one of the reasons we exist. Dignity doesn't drive our existence.
soserious1 Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 And why isn't it even a desireable trait anymore? I see so many guys chasing the easiest piece of tail and lying and manipulating to keep it coming back for more. Girls throwing themselves at the first guy that will give them any attention and forcing a "connection" in their head when they really know nothing about the guy. Guys and girls on the interwebz looking for casual sex and hook ups not even caring about who the person writhing on top of them will be... And it seems like if you aren't one of these types or don't find these types to be just simply "open-minded" and "secure with their sexuality" you're written off as too serious and stuffy. Don't get me wrong, I love fun and great sex just as much as the next freak but I really do care more about who the person is attached to the penis than the actual penis itself. Nothing turns me on more than having complete respect and total admiration for the guy that will be throwing it to me. What the hell is the world coming to?!?!? Nobody should denigrate you for your relationship choices, nobody. OTOH, there are people who don't desire to care about the person they're boning, they don't want any sort of emotional connection. IMHO, as long as people are honest about their intentions, that POV is entitled to the same respect as your own.
HughHardcastle Posted December 31, 2011 Posted December 31, 2011 Probably because a lot of people would much rather fulfill their physical, sexual desires than their emotional, mental desires.
kaylan Posted December 31, 2011 Posted December 31, 2011 It seems these days it is either one extreme or the other. People either have no moral code and believe that anything resembling one is old fashioned or they are hyper religious and conservative. Where are all the people in the middle who love to have a good time but don't believe in lying and using people? Where are all the people who have a happy medium in this culture war? *Raises hand* Ive done the hooking up thing with NSA. Ive had a one night stand, and Ive regularly gone to the bar, danced and made out with girls Ive just met. I like to have a good time and probably will be going out tomorrow night for new years to get drunk with my friends and possibly meet a fun girl. It is what it is. At the same time, I have always liked the idea of having a girl to call my own. Someone who I can listen to my favorite bands with or who can laugh with me while watching King of the Hill. I also think one of the best moments to have is making love to a girl you care about. Though I will admit I am at a crossroads at the moment. I am kind of torn and wondering what I want so for the time being I remain single. Ive never lied to a girl about what I wanted from her. And I dont use women. If I just want to hook up, I let it be known, and if they dont want the same thing, I back off and am honest about why.
musemaj11 Posted January 3, 2012 Posted January 3, 2012 They'll ask guys like me what these men plan on doing later in life, and I answer "they'll keep chasing hot pieces of tail (as young as they can snag), work, make money, party, and be happy in their own little world." So these women will then ask "what about marriage and family?" I answer: "You're assuming they should want what you want. You need to find someone who wants what you want...and if the only guys who want marriage and commitment don't look like Mr Hottie, then that's the cards you've been dealt." BINGO! I dont understand these people who pass negative judgments on others simply because they dont want the same thing they want. I like one night stands with women Im attracted to and I take offense with people who deem me a bad person in any way for my life choice.
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