carrie999 Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 I don't know where I am tonight. Things aren't working out well. I'm very tempted to just jump into the river across the street.
all3sides Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 It does get better!! Just take a deep breath and know that every second that passes gets you one second closer to being back in control. Trust me, I've spent the past 48 hours thinking I was headed for a straighjacket. It feels very good to just vent and let it out. We're here for you
LadyGrey Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 Carrie, don't do something stupid! Today is just one sucky day, there will be more but whatever it is, it is not worth jumping in the river for. Was there a d day and he stayed with his wife? Is that why you are so upset? Hang in there........sometimes for one min or one hour at a time is what it takes. You can do this.
MissBee Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 Carrie...it's REALLY not worth it. Almost NOTHING is as bad as it seems and if you sit through it and let it pass...you do feel better. ALL of us here have either been OW/OM who have been hurt, abandoned, lied to, disappointed, humiliated etc or BSs who have had life as they know it shattered and even WSs whose worlds have also been turned upside down...but we're all here, thriving and getting better. It does get better....it really does. Please talk to a friend or talk to us...but don't do whatever it is you're considering doing, NO ONE is worth that and quite frankly life ALWAYS gets better. People go through worse things and survive...some people have terminal illnesses and wish they could have more life and more chances to live and love....you have that chance. Please take care of yourself and TRUST us that you will be fine. A few months from now and even years you'll look back like OMG was I insane? Wtf?! Trust that that day will come and feel what you feel now and let it pass....you'll be fine. Promise.
woinlove Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 Carrie, just treat today as a day to get through however you need to, and know that things can get better but you don't have to deal with them today. When some small glimmer of how things can be better returns - and it will - then you can do what you can to make them better. Meanwhile, sometimes we just have to remember to breath in and out, put one foot in front of the other, or whatever it is we need to do, just to get through this day.
Hazyhead Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 Hey Carrie. Please don't let things get on top of you. Let it out, vent, cry and scream then see what you have left. Like the end of the U2 song: it's just a moment and its time shall pass. Hugs, Hazy x
spice4life Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 I don't know where I am tonight. Things aren't working out well. I'm very tempted to just jump into the river across the street. Don't let the craziness of it all get you down carrie999. No man or woman is worth that kind of anguish! I hate this saying, but at the end of the day you have more than you realize because you have YOU. When you realize that is all you need, things in your life will change. Forget about him for now and focus on living for you and the rest will fall into place. Don't let this be a sad New Year....get out there and spend time with the ones you know love and truly care about you. Dance, laugh and enjoy ringing in the New Year! Big (((Hugs)))!
KathyM Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 Please call someone, like a crisis hotline, and let them know what you are dealing with. There are caring people who can help you. In fact, some people I know personally volunteer their time as crisis intervention counselors. They're very nice people. Call the crisis hotline.
Author carrie999 Posted January 5, 2012 Author Posted January 5, 2012 Thank you all for your concern, and I'm so sorry to have worried everyone. The problem is not related to MM, and I know it'll pass. I should not have irresponsibly posted what I did. I've had a very tough run of bad luck over the last few months, and a few things set me off last week, and I felt hopeless. Truthfully, I had one too many glasses of wine over dinner, and I lost perspective and fell victim to what basically amounts to self-pity. I owe you guys some explanation: I lost my car in a flood, I'm in a new town with few connections, I was laid off last summer because I was the new guy, I can't get unemployment (yet) because I just moved to a new state and there's a lot of red tape involved, I can't get a new car because FEMA has bigger problems (after all the flooding from hurricanes) than people who lost cars, etc... But after gaining much-needed perspective, lots of people are in far worse shape than I am. People lost their homes, and a tenth of the country (many more qualified than me) don't have jobs and have families to support. I have no right to whine about what I don't have, because I am surrounded by people both in my personal life and even online who do care about my well-being. I'll be okay. I didn't expect the outpouring of support you all have shown me. I thought I was talking anonymously into a void. I underestimated how caring and wonderful you all are. I apologize for worrying you and basically acting like a histrionic teenager. Thank you again, and I'm sorry for my behavior.
LadyGrey Posted January 6, 2012 Posted January 6, 2012 I'm sorry you are having a rough time Carrie. I hope things get better for you. Keep us posted. Hugs.......
pureinheart Posted January 7, 2012 Posted January 7, 2012 Thank you all for your concern, and I'm so sorry to have worried everyone. The problem is not related to MM, and I know it'll pass. I should not have irresponsibly posted what I did. I've had a very tough run of bad luck over the last few months, and a few things set me off last week, and I felt hopeless. Truthfully, I had one too many glasses of wine over dinner, and I lost perspective and fell victim to what basically amounts to self-pity. I owe you guys some explanation: I lost my car in a flood, I'm in a new town with few connections, I was laid off last summer because I was the new guy, I can't get unemployment (yet) because I just moved to a new state and there's a lot of red tape involved, I can't get a new car because FEMA has bigger problems (after all the flooding from hurricanes) than people who lost cars, etc... But after gaining much-needed perspective, lots of people are in far worse shape than I am. People lost their homes, and a tenth of the country (many more qualified than me) don't have jobs and have families to support. I have no right to whine about what I don't have, because I am surrounded by people both in my personal life and even online who do care about my well-being. I'll be okay. I didn't expect the outpouring of support you all have shown me. I thought I was talking anonymously into a void. I underestimated how caring and wonderful you all are. I apologize for worrying you and basically acting like a histrionic teenager. Thank you again, and I'm sorry for my behavior. That's what this forum is supposed to be for love. I just saw your OP and didn't pick up anything accept for frustration, although have to say I was hoping I'd picked things up right and that the first impression was correct. Certainly there are many more that are worse off, although you must not minimise your own situatiuon (((((hugs)))). I completely understand your frustration as things build and compound. Hang in there gf! 1
standtall Posted January 8, 2012 Posted January 8, 2012 C999, Life is about choices...... I've read a lot of your posts. Sounds like a little karma action going on, on the other hand, we all have it coming to us so you're in good company.
Author carrie999 Posted January 11, 2012 Author Posted January 11, 2012 Thank you all, very much. I'm just fine, and again, your support is very much appreciated. Standtall, I don't know you, but the karma comment seemed to be derisive. I know plenty of wonderful people who have never "wronged" anyone who have gone through hell, and plenty of jerks who treat others badly without facing repercussions. Maybe I'm misreading your statement, and if so, I apologize.
Fabian Montenegro Posted January 11, 2012 Posted January 11, 2012 Thank you all, very much. I'm just fine, and again, your support is very much appreciated. Standtall, I don't know you, but the karma comment seemed to be derisive. I know plenty of wonderful people who have never "wronged" anyone who have gone through hell, and plenty of jerks who treat others badly without facing repercussions. Maybe I'm misreading your statement, and if so, I apologize. His comment was derisive and you aren't misreading his statement. When somebody can provide hard evidence, I'll believe in the idea of karma.
standtall Posted January 12, 2012 Posted January 12, 2012 C and fabian, There are enough cheerleaders on this forum and I believe diverse opinions are what make the human chorus so interesting. If we all had the same advise and take on a situation this wouldn't be a very helpful place to get support now would it? I was raised to tough it out and deal with things and that God is watching us at all times, so my opinions will reflect that.
White Flower Posted January 13, 2012 Posted January 13, 2012 Carrie, my thoughts and prayers are with you. (((((Carrie999)))))
Author carrie999 Posted January 24, 2012 Author Posted January 24, 2012 C and fabian, There are enough cheerleaders on this forum and I believe diverse opinions are what make the human chorus so interesting. If we all had the same advise and take on a situation this wouldn't be a very helpful place to get support now would it? I was raised to tough it out and deal with things and that God is watching us at all times, so my opinions will reflect that. Blah, blah, blah, blah. I'm sorry...am I misquoting you? Why are you here, anyway? This is a support forum, and you're coming off condescending and preachy. This isn't a "cheerleading" forum. Those who post here just want to vent, and get CONSTRUCTIVE criticism in addition to support. Oh, and for future reference, if you want to sound intelligent, run your messages through a grammar/spell check before talking down to people. It would at least make you sound somewhat credible. (Hint: advise is a verb, not a noun. Advice is a noun.)
Gentlegirl Posted January 24, 2012 Posted January 24, 2012 Lots of people have had tough times and never hurt a fly. Lots of people have had to tough it out and have come out the other end gracious and understanding of others. However I guess a good kick in the guts will just teach Carrie the lesson she needed to learn. Did it make you feel better Carrie to know that fate is paying you back ???? GG
standtall Posted January 24, 2012 Posted January 24, 2012 Lots of people have had tough times and never hurt a fly. GG I hope we were not talking about the OP here. I will not rehash what I said earlier, and the angry lash outs will not get me to recant my post. Sorry if you don't like my perspective..it was not intended to offend. Btw Carrie, thank you for pointing out my grammatical error, however you could have done it in a more polite tone. Also, I agree with you about this being a support sub-forum for those who find themselves in affairs and the situations around it, so maybe you could ask yourself how exactly did your original post have anything to do with that? Your situation was not really an affair related dilemma now was it? Is it because the people on this forum are the ones who are going to give you the comfort and support you wanted to hear? I am going to check out of this thread the civility here is a little lacking for those who do not agree with everyone else.
White Flower Posted January 25, 2012 Posted January 25, 2012 Really? A woman is at the end of her rope, far away without anyone she knows, without transportation due to a flood and posts about her aggravation only to be accosted with remarks about karma and payback? Even after she apologizes for alarming anyone and explains more in detail? Wow, where is the compassion? Carrie, were you able to get a rental car and is FEMA coming through with anything yet? Hang in there girl, you're strong and you got this!
Gentlegirl Posted January 25, 2012 Posted January 25, 2012 Really? A woman is at the end of her rope, far away without anyone she knows, without transportation due to a flood and posts about her aggravation only to be accosted with remarks about karma and payback? Even after she apologizes for alarming anyone and explains more in detail? Wow, where is the compassion? Carrie, were you able to get a rental car and is FEMA coming through with anything yet? Hang in there girl, you're strong and you got this! Of course she will come here for support.. that's what we are for. We have all known each other for some time. Carrie alarmed us a little while ago and she was saying sorry. Very thoughtful of her. I hope Carrie is doing ok too. I was just saying in my last post that there is nothing much to be gained by being harsh and telling somebody they are getting what they deserve. The only purpose I can see in that is to hurt somebody who already has enough problems. Flower do you think that was the purpose of the comment about karma? Bye for now, GG
pureinheart Posted January 25, 2012 Posted January 25, 2012 C and fabian, There are enough cheerleaders on this forum and I believe diverse opinions are what make the human chorus so interesting. If we all had the same advise and take on a situation this wouldn't be a very helpful place to get support now would it? I was raised to tough it out and deal with things and that God is watching us at all times, so my opinions will reflect that. Very true...He is also there with His hand wide open, stating to come unto Him all of those who are heavy laden, and He will give them rest. Correct me if I'm wrong, although I have never read where God said to tough it out, suck it up, whatever...what I have read though is to seek wise councel. FTR, by the sounds of the OP, well, she has been "sucking it up" and that was leading to thoughts of despair that could lead to the taking of ones life, she needed to get it out and get comfort. When things pile up, ESPECIALLY traumatic things we need to release them. As for the karma....love covers a multitude of sins.
White Flower Posted January 26, 2012 Posted January 26, 2012 Of course she will come here for support.. that's what we are for. We have all known each other for some time. Carrie alarmed us a little while ago and she was saying sorry. Very thoughtful of her. I hope Carrie is doing ok too. I was just saying in my last post that there is nothing much to be gained by being harsh and telling somebody they are getting what they deserve. The only purpose I can see in that is to hurt somebody who already has enough problems. Flower do you think that was the purpose of the comment about karma? Bye for now, GG GG, AFAIK your comment was about fate, not karma, and I didn't quote you so I'm surprised that you're taking my statement personally. But now that you have clarified that you are indeed here to support Carrie I find your comment about fate teaching her a lesson a little confusing. Perhaps there is a backstory I am unaware of, or maybe you're part of the ever-increasing members of the rOW persuasion that have overtaken this board, and with that have come to persecute active OW, I don't know and I hope that I am wrong about that, but the overall feeling on this thread doesn't feel supportive. FTR, I am not here as OW supporting OW, I am here as a human being supporting another human being.
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