abouttoloseit Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 Just a quickie, no pun intended. I have been single for a year and half. Few bits of fun here and there, ONS, but have always parted amicably. About 1 year ago I met a girl through my ex girlfriend strangley enough. Got on quite well and spent the night chatting away. She had a boyfriend (And still has...) so I didn't really pursue. I didn't see her for about 9 months, then as fate would have it, met up with her in a club. Total co-incidence. Anyway, we went clubbing, danced all night and generally had a good time. I did notice however, she was very touchy feely. She'd grab my hand to go request songs etc, grab my arm as she spoke with me etc...Just things I noticed. She added me on FB. We started chatting at night. It has now turned into every night. Anyway, told her my true feelings to her via long message (Which is I think she is amazing. Not had butteflies for over 4 years). I know she still has a bf but I said I'm not going to pursue. Not here to steal gfs. So anyway, two weeks pass after I tell her this, she invites me to NYE party, and still chats to me on FB. It's just that the chats are starting to become a little...flirtacious. Last nights conversation was condoms. How it feels better without etc, positions, where she likes it...I'm not going into detail. She asked to meet up just before xmas to do some shopping, I missed her though as I was busy. Now, Im so not cool with the fact she talks like this as she has a BF. But I don't know if this is all validation crap or something else. I don't mind the flirting, I'm bad for it. Anyway, the touchy feely, flirting, invitations, chatting every night etc...this as obvious as it looks? What would the guys do? Cheers ya'll, either way....Im enjoying it lol
dasein Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 If the BF is real, do you want to be with someone who acts like that while in an exclusive relationship? Imagine the feeling when she disrespects you one day. Just avoid it. OTOH, if the BF is not a real, serious BF, she certainly is carrying it a long way, past the white lie acceptable stage. Bad bet either way for anything other than NSA.
Surrealist Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 If she is doing it to him behind his back, guaranteed she will do the same to you. Treat accordingly. Personally I would ask her what the status of her relationship is with her boyfriend and if she advises you she is indeed in a relationship I would be keeping far away, at least not engaging with flirtatious chatter.
SilverLining Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 I agree with everything being said. It's possible that things are rocky with her boyfriend and that's why she's acting this way. How old is she? She sounds young and immature. You might want to draw the line, at least for your own sake. Don't get caught up in something that could turn ugly. I'd tell the girl that you like her, but you aren't going to hang out with her anymore or talk to her anymore in this way until she's a single woman as it makes you uncomfortable and also makes you lose respect for her. She probably likes you and just doesn't want to ditch her own boyfriend. Either this talk will make her finally dump her boyfriend if there are issues, or it won't. Either way, you will have gotten out of a mess and kept your dignity. I'm sure you are deserving of being someone's full course meal, so don't sit around waiting for the scraps.
fishtaco Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 Yeah, either attention whoring or looking to cheat. Ask your conscience what you are allowed to do. Could be fun to push for sex and see how far you get. But even if she's just an attention whore with no intenti0on of putting out, or maybe you don't want to have sex with her because of her BF, you can still benefit from this. All the touchy feely attention she's giving you, is making you look good in the eyes of other women. Take advantage of it & hook up with other women.
Ninjainpajamas Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 I always suspect an attention whore in these cases, more decent women won't do this commit this kind of behavior...and if she is still with this guy then how come? I don't know...for me you've gone farther than I ever have, with a woman in a relationship that is. I think it's best to go for someone for less drama, if you feel a strong connection with this woman though and actually are interested in her, then maybe she does want you to steal her away from her boyfriend. You know how insecure and worried women can be about being alone, so maybe she'd rather jump onto you than just abandon ship into nothing. Sounds bad though overall.
ShannonMI Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 Just a quickie, no pun intended. I have been single for a year and half. Few bits of fun here and there, ONS, but have always parted amicably. About 1 year ago I met a girl through my ex girlfriend strangley enough. Got on quite well and spent the night chatting away. She had a boyfriend (And still has...) so I didn't really pursue. I didn't see her for about 9 months, then as fate would have it, met up with her in a club. Total co-incidence. Anyway, we went clubbing, danced all night and generally had a good time. I did notice however, she was very touchy feely. She'd grab my hand to go request songs etc, grab my arm as she spoke with me etc...Just things I noticed. She added me on FB. We started chatting at night. It has now turned into every night. Anyway, told her my true feelings to her via long message (Which is I think she is amazing. Not had butteflies for over 4 years). I know she still has a bf but I said I'm not going to pursue. Not here to steal gfs. So anyway, two weeks pass after I tell her this, she invites me to NYE party, and still chats to me on FB. It's just that the chats are starting to become a little...flirtacious. Last nights conversation was condoms. How it feels better without etc, positions, where she likes it...I'm not going into detail. She asked to meet up just before xmas to do some shopping, I missed her though as I was busy. Now, Im so not cool with the fact she talks like this as she has a BF. But I don't know if this is all validation crap or something else. I don't mind the flirting, I'm bad for it. Anyway, the touchy feely, flirting, invitations, chatting every night etc...this as obvious as it looks? What would the guys do? Cheers ya'll, either way....Im enjoying it lol Don't persue this chick. She's got a man. She's probably willing to cheat on him too from what it sounds like. Do you want to break up a relationship? And do you want a girl that is an obvious cheater? If she cheats on her current boyfriend, what's going to stop her from cheating on you if you two date? Find another girl. You look smokin' hot if that's you in your avatar. My guess is you don't have issues with the ladies. Move on from this one. She sounds like trouble.
TheFinalWord Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 Don't persue this chick. She's got a man. She's probably willing to cheat on him too from what it sounds like. Do you want to break up a relationship? And do you want a girl that is an obvious cheater? If she cheats on her current boyfriend, what's going to stop her from cheating on you if you two date? Find another girl. You look smokin' hot if that's you in your avatar. My guess is you don't have issues with the ladies. Move on from this one. She sounds like trouble. Listen to Shannon. One of the wisest women on this board
ShannonMI Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 Listen to Shannon. One of the wisest women on this board Hahahahaha awww thanks:D
TheFinalWord Posted December 31, 2011 Posted December 31, 2011 Hahahahaha awww thanks:D I'm serious! I read every thread you comment in lol You should write a book about relationships! Sorry to hijack the thread OP
ShannonMI Posted December 31, 2011 Posted December 31, 2011 I'm serious! I read every thread you comment in lol You should write a book about relationships! Sorry to hijack the thread OP Oh you are far too kind. I know a few things about relationships, I suppose. I wouldn't say I know enough to write a book though. But thank you very much for the compliment.
Nexus One Posted December 31, 2011 Posted December 31, 2011 (edited) What would the guys do? She'd probably get a man-rant from me, ranging anywhere from a mild rant to a harsh one, depending on the context. At the point you told her your feelings she should have set a boundary between you and her in order to protect her relationship. She didn't do that, which is a red flag. If she's willing to cheat with you, then you know you're dealing with a woman that is capable of cheating. Meaning she's not relationship material (in my opinion). You'll be living with the fear in the back of your mind that she one day might do it to you. They way you win them, is the way you'll lose them. I'm not saying this is always the case, but when it comes to cheating, then it might very well apply in a significant number of cases, because statistics show that most cheaters are "repeat offenders". Either way, whatever it is she's doing, it's not appropriate given the fact that she's in a relationship. Edited December 31, 2011 by Nexus One
mammamia1 Posted December 31, 2011 Posted December 31, 2011 I'm a girl and I don't think u should pursue this either. Even if you have her, she would surely cheat on you. Save yourself from headache and drama, this doesn't worth it.
Author abouttoloseit Posted December 31, 2011 Author Posted December 31, 2011 Hey guys, thanks for replying. I didn't know if anyone would reply to be honest! Hey Shannon, it is me...for my sins. I'm not here to break up relationships, I'm well aware of the fact that she could very do this to me also. I think I'm just curious as to how far I could push this. I think I'm enjoying/teasing the "power". That or she could just be pulling my leg and enjoying the attention. Nevertheless, she has a BF. I ain't f*ckin' wis dat sh*t. Damn those butterflies! A slight twist in fate is that my ex is planning on being at this party. Of whom has always stayed friendly with me. Much to my annoyance however. This is going to get messy.
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