TheWatcher Posted December 29, 2011 Posted December 29, 2011 A spinoff to the inexperienced/too much experience thread. Ideally,it is best to be honest and forthcoming within a relationship; However,I would advise all inexperienced men from ever revealing their inexperience to a woman.No matter how comfortable you feel with your partner or how far along in the relationship you may be. If LS is any indication...women (perhaps not all) are generally turned off by a man's lack or sexual/relationship experience.I think that only a guy in his late teens/very early twenties would be forgiven for being inexperienced. Take the following case for example;guy recently turned 40...never dated,never had a girlfriend,yet to have his first kiss and has never really touched a woman.Do you think that it would be a good idea for him to reveal all of this to a woman...if he happens to meet one and is interested in keeping her around ? I'm not advising anyone to lie but volunteering any info that could be detrimental isn't a good idea either.Yes,it may appear very disingenuous,but I would allow her to think that I've had a myriad of experiences that have allowed me to grow spiritually/ emotionally etc.I would suggest(and personally say) something along the lines of ...I don't care about where you've been or who you've been with.All that matters to me is that we're together and I want to focus on what we have and building something together.Admittedly,the one thing that would reveal my own lack of a past would be kissing...since I don't know how...that would be an absolute dead give-away. I'm only speaking hypothetically...I'm in no danger of meeting any one or getting into a relationship.I'm deeply entrenched in the bachelor-uncle lifestyle...have been for some time . Oddly enough,the older you get.. you have less & less of a danger of being asked about your past,At 30 + ...most women assume that you've had a least a handful of experiences...so being asked about your past might not even happen. Good luck
Emilia Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 I think over about 25 (as far as you can put an age on these things) and older virgin will come across very differently from his peers because others will have so much more confidence and experience by then that the gulf will show. I seriously don't believe an older virgin is able to hide his lack of experience because the way he carries himself would always be a give-away, including kissing (since to be any good at it takes a little practise).
spice4life Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 A spinoff to the inexperienced/too much experience thread. Ideally,it is best to be honest and forthcoming within a relationship; However,I would advise all inexperienced men from ever revealing their inexperience to a woman.No matter how comfortable you feel with your partner or how far along in the relationship you may be. If LS is any indication...women (perhaps not all) are generally turned off by a man's lack or sexual/relationship experience.I think that only a guy in his late teens/very early twenties would be forgiven for being inexperienced. Take the following case for example;guy recently turned 40...never dated,never had a girlfriend,yet to have his first kiss and has never really touched a woman.Do you think that it would be a good idea for him to reveal all of this to a woman...if he happens to meet one and is interested in keeping her around ? I'm not advising anyone to lie but volunteering any info that could be detrimental isn't a good idea either.Yes,it may appear very disingenuous,but I would allow her to think that I've had a myriad of experiences that have allowed me to grow spiritually/ emotionally etc.I would suggest(and personally say) something along the lines of ...I don't care about where you've been or who you've been with.All that matters to me is that we're together and I want to focus on what we have and building something together.Admittedly,the one thing that would reveal my own lack of a past would be kissing...since I don't know how...that would be an absolute dead give-away. I'm only speaking hypothetically...I'm in no danger of meeting any one or getting into a relationship.I'm deeply entrenched in the bachelor-uncle lifestyle...have been for some time . Oddly enough,the older you get.. you have less & less of a danger of being asked about your past,At 30 + ...most women assume that you've had a least a handful of experiences...so being asked about your past might not even happen. Good luck This why it is always better to date and get to know someone first before you cross the line and have sex. Once someone gets to know you and truly loves and appreciates you for who you are the rest will happen naturally. You will be enticed by them and it will be much easier to allow your passionate sexual side to come out. Natural human instincts will take over. Sex is best when you are in love! So don't focus on your lack of experience; focus on getting to know the person you are with and if there is a great connection on all of the other levels, the sexual connection will evolve as well. Regarding talking about the past, especially if you are 35 +, it's always best to say, "the past is the past, all that matters is the here and now." Once there is a true "emotional" connection and they ask the question again, just say, "all that matters is that it brought me to you and for that I am thankful." ...then lean in and give a pasionate kiss! Best wishes on your journey and Happy New Year!
spice4life Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 A spinoff to the inexperienced/too much experience thread. Ideally,it is best to be honest and forthcoming within a relationship; However,I would advise all inexperienced men from ever revealing their inexperience to a woman.No matter how comfortable you feel with your partner or how far along in the relationship you may be. If LS is any indication...women (perhaps not all) are generally turned off by a man's lack or sexual/relationship experience.I think that only a guy in his late teens/very early twenties would be forgiven for being inexperienced. Take the following case for example;guy recently turned 40...never dated,never had a girlfriend,yet to have his first kiss and has never really touched a woman.Do you think that it would be a good idea for him to reveal all of this to a woman...if he happens to meet one and is interested in keeping her around ? I'm not advising anyone to lie but volunteering any info that could be detrimental isn't a good idea either.Yes,it may appear very disingenuous,but I would allow her to think that I've had a myriad of experiences that have allowed me to grow spiritually/ emotionally etc.I would suggest(and personally say) something along the lines of ...I don't care about where you've been or who you've been with.All that matters to me is that we're together and I want to focus on what we have and building something together.Admittedly,the one thing that would reveal my own lack of a past would be kissing...since I don't know how...that would be an absolute dead give-away. I'm only speaking hypothetically...I'm in no danger of meeting any one or getting into a relationship.I'm deeply entrenched in the bachelor-uncle lifestyle...have been for some time . Oddly enough,the older you get.. you have less & less of a danger of being asked about your past,At 30 + ...most women assume that you've had a least a handful of experiences...so being asked about your past might not even happen. Good luck This why it is always better to date and get to know someone first before you cross the line and have sex. Once someone gets to know you and truly loves and appreciates you for who you are, the rest will happen naturally. You will be enticed by them and it will be much easier to allow your passionate sexual side to come out. Natural human instincts will take over. Sex is best when you are in love! So don't focus on your lack of experience; focus on getting to know the person you are with and if there is a great connection on all of the other levels, the sexual connection will evolve as well. Regarding talking about the past, especially if you are 35 +, it's always best to say, "the past is the past, all that matters is the here and now." Once there is a true "emotional" connection and they ask the question again, just say, "all that matters is that it brought me to you and for that I am thankful." ...then lean in and give a pasionate kiss! Best wishes on your journey and Happy New Year!
spice4life Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 Sorry for the double post! I was editing and it reposted a new one. System error!
lululucy Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 Take the following case for example;guy recently turned 40...never dated,never had a girlfriend,yet to have his first kiss and has never really touched a woman.Do you think that it would be a good idea for him to reveal all of this to a woman...if he happens to meet one and is interested in keeping her around ? I'm not advising anyone to lie but volunteering any info that could be detrimental isn't a good idea either Earlier in this year, I met a guy when I was visiting my dad in another city -- we had a brief fling, slept together and he would text me daily. He was older (36 and I'm 23) and I liked him but there was something off -- he would bbm me a LOT and since you can see when someone's read your message, he'd send three, four, five at a time knowing I'd read and hadn't responded. It went from "ur so beautiful, beautiful girl" to "cant stop thinkin about u ur amazing" to "this girl right here is the only one I've been with" He tried to deny it but it was pretty obvious that he was telling the truth, he'd been a virgin when we met. I was really, really pissed that he hadn't told me, nevermind the fact that he was now telling me (someone thirteen years younger) that he wanted to move to my city and marry me. I'm still pissed actually, and the last time I saw him was June. If you're going to get involved with someone, either tell them before you have sex or never tell them. I lost all respect I had for the guy.
TheFinalWord Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 Earlier in this year, I met a guy when I was visiting my dad in another city -- we had a brief fling, slept together and he would text me daily. He was older (36 and I'm 23) and I liked him but there was something off -- he would bbm me a LOT and since you can see when someone's read your message, he'd send three, four, five at a time knowing I'd read and hadn't responded. It went from "ur so beautiful, beautiful girl" to "cant stop thinkin about u ur amazing" to "this girl right here is the only one I've been with" He tried to deny it but it was pretty obvious that he was telling the truth, he'd been a virgin when we met. I was really, really pissed that he hadn't told me, nevermind the fact that he was now telling me (someone thirteen years younger) that he wanted to move to my city and marry me. I'm still pissed actually, and the last time I saw him was June. If you're going to get involved with someone, either tell them before you have sex or never tell them. I lost all respect I had for the guy. Would it have changed things if he told you prior? So ignore or do not ignore the OP? At any rate, women should know the basic formula. However many women the guy say's he's been with, divide by 3. For women, multiply by 3
Author TheWatcher Posted December 30, 2011 Author Posted December 30, 2011 (edited) Earlier in this year, I met a guy when I was visiting my dad in another city -- we had a brief fling, slept together and he would text me daily. He was older (36 and I'm 23) and I liked him but there was something off -- he would bbm me a LOT and since you can see when someone's read your message, he'd send three, four, five at a time knowing I'd read and hadn't responded. It went from "ur so beautiful, beautiful girl" to "cant stop thinkin about u ur amazing" to "this girl right here is the only one I've been with" He tried to deny it but it was pretty obvious that he was telling the truth, he'd been a virgin when we met. I was really, really pissed that he hadn't told me, nevermind the fact that he was now telling me (someone thirteen years younger) that he wanted to move to my city and marry me. I'm still pissed actually, and the last time I saw him was June. If you're going to get involved with someone, either tell them before you have sex or never tell them. I lost all respect I had for the guy. Even though I have no experience with women whatsoever..even I would know better than exhibit such eagerness/excitement so early on is a relationship/fling.I have learned through LS that it is best to act aloof (to a certain extent) and play it cool...particularly at the outset.That's something that trips up some guys (who have no or little experience) they get so excited about someone actually giving the time of day...that they get all flustered/overwhelmed.I can understand it though....they're experiencing a rush that they've never felt before.However,talking about marriage as in your situation is really out there and bizarre;scary almost. Personally,I would never let a woman know of my situation.I would like to think that I would be a good enough actor as to not arise any suspicions.However,I think that I would be caught through kissing would be obvious that It was something that I hadn't done before. Edited December 30, 2011 by TheWatcher
robaday Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 It's weird, I was really inexperienced when I was like 25. And the thing I learned when I did start sleeping with a lot of women, was that a lot of the time they are more concerned about their own performance than judging yours. And that was important for me because it gave me added confidence. Im not conviced you can tell that much (apart from someone with NO sexual experience). Ive slept with women who have slept with a lot of guys and they have been terrible in bed....I equate terrible to just lying there motionless. Whereas Ive slept with some with limited experience and just because they were keen and eager and enjoying it it was way way better! I think enthusiasm counts for a lot. Someone willing to try, someone who is really into it is the biggest turn on for me, Im not sure about other guys. Also Ive found in general one night stands, or sex for the first time with someone is generally pretty bad and awkward.......its after the 4th or 5th time that things get exciting:) someone could be pretty terrible in bed the first time, but still be a great lover......drunkenness, nervousness, unfamiliarity with the other person etc etc all contribute.
Author TheWatcher Posted December 31, 2011 Author Posted December 31, 2011 Best wishes on your journey and Happy New Year! Thank you.Happy New Year to you as well.
Emilia Posted January 3, 2012 Posted January 3, 2012 Im not conviced you can tell that much (apart from someone with NO sexual experience). Ive slept with women who have slept with a lot of guys and they have been terrible in bed....I equate terrible to just lying there motionless. Whereas Ive slept with some with limited experience and just because they were keen and eager and enjoying it it was way way better! I think enthusiasm counts for a lot. Someone willing to try, someone who is really into it is the biggest turn on for me, Im not sure about other guys. Also Ive found in general one night stands, or sex for the first time with someone is generally pretty bad and awkward.......its after the 4th or 5th time that things get exciting:) someone could be pretty terrible in bed the first time, but still be a great lover......drunkenness, nervousness, unfamiliarity with the other person etc etc all contribute. Enthusiasm is number one for guys too. But then if someone is enthusiastic, why would they wait until their late 20s? You would associate that with an 18 year-old virgin not a 27 year-old one. You can tell I'm pretty sure when someone has no experience but when it's little, it might be a different ballgame depending on the reason. My last lover was inexperienced (not a virgin though) but it was cultural rather than social reasons so he was good with interpersonal skills therefore I overestimated his dating experience. I could tell in bed that he wasn't assertive like my previous lovers and that he wasn't getting much from his previous (and only) girl. I think I would have been able to tell if someone had social skill issues though from before making it to the bedroom. A lot will depend on a man's personality and how young he starts getting that experience I think. My previous lover before the last one was really young but had a bold attitude (enthusiasm!) and just wanted to learn and enjoy It showed and we had a lot of fun. Sometimes you are just put off by someone or they are put off by you when it comes to the nitty gritty. I wouldn't expect great mind-blowing sex the first time but I expect seeing the potential. By the time round two happens, I usually know.
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