BrokenFool Posted December 29, 2011 Posted December 29, 2011 Hi All I have a question which has been troubling me , when my ex broke up with me in Jan she defended me and blocked me from Facebook and whatsapp, now if you really think about it if I wanted to I could create another Facebook profile or use a friends and message her so blocking kinda doesn't do anything , same with whatsapp if I wanted to I could just text her or use another number to whatsapp her so that kinda doesn't do anything either Now my ex has been looking at my Facebook profile and giving me private number calls everytime I change my picture on there ( almost like she is trying to give me subliminal messages ) and she has been logging on to whatsapp just like one time every 2 weeks ( checking when was the last time I logged on possibly as I didn't block her) So my question is 12 months later when you are viewing my profile and whatsapp anyway why not unblock me if you are trying to hint you would like me to contact you ? Does her not unblocking me show she doesn't give a hoot about me or that she's still bothered about the breakup Thoughts please I am in a couple of days going to either delete my Facebook profile or restrict the privacy I just wanted to know everybody's views before I decide Thanks for reading and your input
spicolli Posted December 29, 2011 Posted December 29, 2011 Eventually one of you has to stop being stubborn and just give the other one a call. If you call her and she gets defensive about the blocked calls (even though you should probably avoid bringing it up) then you know this really isn't worth your time anymore. I mean your gut is telling you that it is her, and it would be AWFULLY coincidental if it wasnt. This is too long to be in limbo. Its time for her to put up or shutup, and for you to be able to heal without this childish games. About deleting your fb profile... why? maybe someone worth while wants to contact you and that is their only means. Don't do it. Just set the privacy. You shouldn't inconvenience yourself like that. just my two cents.
PoppyLove89 Posted December 29, 2011 Posted December 29, 2011 If she's blocked you on facebook, she can't view your profile unless she's using someone else's account. Also, how do you know that she's been viewing it? There's no such feature that allows us to see who has been our pages? Anyway, I'd suggest you just call her or initiate contact somehow. At least this way you'll get some form of idea as to what is going on with her. I'm guessing you haven't spoken for a while so keep it light and relaxed (it's bound to be awkward so don't panic and blurt your guts out on the phone). Best of luck with everything
M2155 Posted December 29, 2011 Posted December 29, 2011 Also curious how you're sure it's her. I think it's very childish if it is to be honest, I wouldn't play that game. Otherwise as I have no reminder of my blocked list, it doesn't really dawn on me to go unblock them.
Author BrokenFool Posted December 30, 2011 Author Posted December 30, 2011 Hi guys Thanks for your views I thought I would provide a bit more info so you can understand my situation better Private number calls - I've had this number 9 years never received them before Only started once me and my ex had broken up 7 in one morning starting at 07.55 and every half hour afterwards no voicemail left on either That was the first time they have carried on since then I answered and the other person hung up after hearing my voice Once in august I broke and rang her private number to my surprise she picked up first ring ( in all the three years we were together she never answered private number calls) I heard her voice and put it down The next day I received a private number call at the EXACT time I had rang her Private number calls on a Sunday Private number calls EVERY time I have changed my Facebook profile picture Facebook She changes pictures in unison with me If I change pics to something she liked she does the same , if I put up pics of my nephews she puts up pics of her niece , I deleted my profile once went on holiday to Barcelona came back to find she had also deleted her profile ( something she had not done in 3 years) I received a friends request from a girl with no profile pic and one mutual friend ( who is my neighbour and 12 years younger ) before doing anything I asked my neighbour who is this girl she sent me a friends request , he says I don't know her , she added me and when I sent her a message saying who is this she didnt reply, I then knew some of the other people added by her and they didn't know this person either , no pictures up just q listing of the school she went to ( same as my neighbour) so I have a friend who works at the school and she checked for me and no girl with that name went to that school And so I rejected the friends request and then a week later the profile was deleted Two weeks ago on a Thursday in the evening I changes my profile pic and received a private number call an hour later Then last Friday I change my pic again and within a hour I receive a private number call My ex is into mind games and power play she is stubborn so I won't contact her and she won't contact me One thing I don't get is about a year ago she started talking to a lad across the road from her ( 12 years younger) and I felt she was interested in him and had even dumped me 2 times for saying something about him she didn't like , now she is talking with him everyday on the phone so why the need to play the games with me to try lure me back in ? It's been a year Why ? She's trying to get me to react and contact her which I read is a sign she is playing games She can wait all she wants not happening I just don't get why not unblock me from Facebook or whatsapp if you wanna send me a sign instead of all the other stuff
PoppyLove89 Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 If you can still see her profile photos changing etc then I don't think she blocked you lol she probably just deleted you off her friends list.
Author BrokenFool Posted December 30, 2011 Author Posted December 30, 2011 No she deffo blocked me I have been using my nephews account to view her profile picture and she knows me well enough to know I would be doing that
carhill Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 Here's a logical question: Why does it matter? Think of every second of valuable life which has been spent deciphering this conundrum. You could have died in the last year. Do you really want to waste life on such matters? Someday the value of these questions which I'm sure you laugh at now as irrelevant will become clear. Then you'll be laughing at yourself for wasting your valuable life energy on such pursuits. Onward.
spicolli Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 I know you're saying that she is playing games, but I hope you realize, you're playing right along with her. Someone needs to break this cycle. If the restricted calls come like clockwork, then (I don't want to get in trouble for soliciting) get a program that unblocks restricted calls. This is too long for this to be going on. You deserve better.
carhill Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 "in these 3 years i have been accused of being with her for money, sex, because im lonely, called weak, a stalker because i looked at her facebook and said something about a guy she has on her friends list , found out the guy on her facebook was her ex, she had stayed in touch with him behind my back, been chatting to him at nights despite him having a girlfriend, had sent him picture messages, stayed up till 5am chatting to him, had disappeared for nights saying she took night nurse and it knocked her out, had urine infections, cracked skin between her arse cheeks" Oy...
gibson Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 When my ex broke up with me in Jan she defended me and blocked me from Facebook and whatsapp and? now if you really think about it if I wanted to I could create another Facebook profile or use a friends and message her so blocking kinda doesn't do anything , same with whatsapp if I wanted to I could just text her or use another number to whatsapp her so that kinda doesn't do anything either Wait.. What? I see... You are one of "those" kind of dumpees. So my question is 12 months later when you are viewing my profile and whatsapp anyway why not unblock me if you are trying to hint you would like me to contact you ? Oh... You are one of "those" dumpees that thinks even though your Ex broke up with you, blocked you and is dating someone else, she really and truly wants you. I get it now... Does her not unblocking me show she doesn't give a hoot about me or that she's still bothered about the breakup She probably knows you are of the "stalking" variety and the type of person that doesn't get that a break up, means a break up. So instead of "dealing" with you and for her own sanity, she chooses to block you. Pretty simple if you ask me.
BoredAgain Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 Carhill is dead on. Whatever your Ex is doing, it doesn't concern you. Getting a random phone call from a private number isn't that intrusive (and has already been pointed out, you don't really know whether its actually her). Move forward with your life and stop wasting time by trying to figure your Ex out... not only is such a task impossible, she seems worth avoiding (based on your description).
Author BrokenFool Posted December 30, 2011 Author Posted December 30, 2011 Carhill - Absolutely you know what you hit the nail on the head , life is too short too precious , we only get one shot so why waste it trying to unscramble cryptic clues and like you quoted why the he'll would I want somebody like that back in my life Gibson - I know you mean well but please don't make judgements based on just your opinion, every single time my ex would break up with me and believe me their were a lot her protocol was delete from facebook and block delete from bbm and whatsapp and block and ignore any attempts via text or phone to talk then she would cool down and re add me on Facebook etc That's how it always worked and this time obviously it hasn't Apart from two incidents this whole YEAR I haven't contacted her , not a text not a email not a message not a cryptic clue nothing, I was working coincidentally in her local town for 6 months staying at hotels close by not ONCE did I try contact her , ive not written her letters not turned up to see her not contacted her friends not done nothing Yes out of curiosity and care that she's ok I have now and again used my nephews Facebook to see what her profile pic is If that makes me a stalker in your eyes then fair enough I would say if you have never done anything similar your feelings probably didn't run as deep as mine did Boredagain - thank you for your input and yes carhill is spot on but I want to point something out with god on my side and my hand on Y heart I can say I don't want my ex to contact me because I want to be back in the horrible abusive relationship that mentally I am still not 100% healed over it's because I want that validation that she realised how wrong she treated me and I didn't deserve it and maybe even am apology and a catch up would be nice THAT'S ALL I know I shouldn't even care but I'm only caring because she has gone to lengths to prove to me that it is her giving me the private number calls and if you look at how she treated me one would guess she didn't care for me one iota so why the calls That's all I value everybody's opinions even if they hurt Sometimes you have to be harsh and I know it's only cos you care
gibson Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 (edited) If that makes me a stalker in your eyes then fair enough I would say if you have never done anything similar your feelings probably didn't run as deep as mine did So "stalking" an Ex's Facebook = A deeper love than I could possibly know or understand. I would have thought by the age of 40, I would have had a relationship that was as deep and meaningful as yours. I mean I have been in several LTR's and even lived with someone for several years. I guess nothing really says I love more than Facebook or "stalking" your Ex's Facebook through another account since you are blocked. Now that I know that, I'm going to go sign up for Facebook and "stalk" all of my Exes so I can prove to them and myself how much I really loved them. Edited December 30, 2011 by gibson
Author BrokenFool Posted December 30, 2011 Author Posted December 30, 2011 Gibson- check the definition of staking in the dictionary Looking at a exes profile picture now and again doesn't make anybody a stalker Call it curiosity , a update on what's happening in her life or simply just missing her And what I said was I bet there are loads of people on LS who if they were honest would probably admit to having done the same That doesn't make me a stalker And nowhere in my post did I say looking at my exes page or her looking at my page , where both of us can only see the profile pic of the other means you love somebody and it is the definition of love It just means somewhere in your heart you are maybe a little curious about the other person That's all So instead of trying to put me down and get a ego maybe look at yourself and figure out why at 40 with lots of previous LTRs your on LS Maybe your attitude says it all ? 1
gibson Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 I was showing you tough love but since you didn't get it, I will connect the dots for you and I will let you color it in. 1. Facebook isn't REAL LIFE. 2. Don't let Facebook dictate your life. 3. Don't look at your Exes Facebook. This is probably why you haven't healed and moved on. After a year you are wondering if your Ex blocking you means she still has feelings for you. What blocking you means: She doesn't want to see or hear from you. One more thing while I am at it... If she wanted to be with you, she would. Hope that clears up any misunderstanding you have concerning you and your Ex.
carhill Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 Imagine how life was before Mark Zuckerberg It wasn't so bad and still isn't if one just says no.
Author BrokenFool Posted December 30, 2011 Author Posted December 30, 2011 You know what Gibson today I can honestly say with my hand on my heart I get it Whatever it is that feeling of calm, that feeling of being able to see the trees in the woods with clear eyes I posted and posted on this site for a whole year got opinions disregarded them and in my heart made excuses for why my ex wasn't contacting me She was scared she was x she was y when all the time he only person I was fooling was me I knew everytime I looked at her profile pic it kept the feelings lingering in my heart and yet i kept on doing it Every private number call I hung to thinking is it her? I like carhill said contributed to my own downfall and my own healing by participating in this game Do you think she changes her profile pic knowing I'm not gonna see it ? Course she doesn't But I showed her I am seeing it so she continued Your absolutely right She's not unblocked me she's not contacted me because she doesn't want to be with me ... I have realised that now and 2012 will be so different from 2011 No more looking at her Facebook Make my profile private - don't know if I should block her or would that seem petty after a year Change my mobile number so I'm not hanging onto every private number call - although I wish I could install some software and see who is ringing me private number , this changing of the number will also stop the weird texts I've been getting One in July a girl apparently who knows me ( nope) and wanted to know if I was single And one 3 weeks ago from another number just saying cxxe If she hasn't the decency and guts to show her number and ring me whatever that is for , an apology a ego stroke to see if I am still on the string whatever then fine but I won't allow her to play with this you anymore Thank you Gibson so much 2 days to work out my new year resolutions God bless you and thank you You opened my eyes and I pray 2012 brings us both what we deserve
wilsonx Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 gibson is so sweet, i would have told you to grow a pair of balls and call her but thats something you would have never done
Author BrokenFool Posted December 30, 2011 Author Posted December 30, 2011 Forget Facebook Forget myspace You still have the memories in your heart to trouble you and the emotional scars Wilson you said to me have the guys to contact her I'm not going to I'm going to erase all possible angles where she could contact me and she can go play her games elsewhere Gibson your right Facebook isn't real life and the image people try portray on there isn't necessarily the real one I'm done I was a tiger cub in 2011 I will be a lion in 2012 Ps: before I go and I won't be posing on LS anymore I will say this much as a honest friend to those of you who I don't even know but saved me from despair in my darkest hours when I couldn't sleep I would lie in bed at night and think what have you ate today ? Nothing I dint have a job my phone was cut off because I couldn't afford to pay the bill Thanks cos you saved me from meltdown It is my ex giving me private number calls and behind be texts 100% it was her behind that fake Facebook request wanton to see my wall and what I've been up to if I'm single She is putting pics up to make me reminisce and contact her And she will never find anybody who will love her unconditionally like did and do so much for her And she will be back trying to contact me and WHEN he does I'll post and let you guys know But the next time she rings my phone private number she will get a dead line When she searches for me she will not find me That's what she deserves Thanks again Take care and god bless Hope you all have happy new years
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