Imajerk17 Posted December 29, 2011 Posted December 29, 2011 (edited) for my online profile... I want to get 2012 off to a great start... (1) "They kicked me out of Whole Foods, so here I am..." (2) "Everyone needs love too, even THAT GUY" (3) "Jeepers Creepers, here I am!" (4) "Stalkers always know whether you got home safely..." (5) "Somebody, please, please, please, write me back!" (6) "I'm lonely, horny, and desperate. Will you be my friend?" (7) "Hey little girl, want some candy?" (8) "Are you going to just give me your number or am I going to have to follow you home?" (9) "What's the best part of dating twenty nine year olds? There's twenty of them! " (10) "Let's shake the house from Mom's basement..." Edited December 29, 2011 by Imajerk17
FitChick Posted December 29, 2011 Posted December 29, 2011 I prefer "Remember when your mother said never talk to strangers?"
iris219 Posted December 29, 2011 Posted December 29, 2011 I can't tell if you're serious or not. Most of these are incredibly creepy and/or cringe worthy (4-10). 3 is dumb. 1 and 2 are amusing. Choose one of those.
oaks Posted December 29, 2011 Posted December 29, 2011 for my online profile... I want to get 2012 off to a great start... Not everybody has the same sense of humour. Some will even love your joke about dating children. I thought 4 was funny. 2, 5, 6 and 8 sound desperate (8 also creepy in a way that 4 wasn't). 1 seems fairly neutral (but perhaps you'll expand on the theme in your profile, so it could be a good hook). The rest are lame.
Author Imajerk17 Posted December 29, 2011 Author Posted December 29, 2011 You know, I like (7), but I'm wondering if I should just save that for the subject heading of my email for way down the road, when I am 50 and I write the 21-year-olds.... (Yes, I was kidding....)
PlumPrincess Posted December 29, 2011 Posted December 29, 2011 for my online profile... I want to get 2012 off to a great start... (1) "They kicked me out of Whole Foods, so here I am..." (2) "Everyone needs love too, even THAT GUY" (3) "Jeepers Creepers, here I am!" (4) "Stalkers always know whether you got home safely..." (5) "Somebody, please, please, please, write me back!" (6) "I'm lonely, horny, and desperate. Will you be my friend?" (7) "Hey little girl, want some candy?" (8) "Are you going to just give me your number or am I going to have to follow you home?" (9) "What's the best part of dating twenty nine year olds? There's twenty of them! " (10) "Let's shake the house from Mom's basement..." And you criticized me for my reasons for rejecting guys and you seriously consider these headlines for your profile? Number 4,5,6,7,8,9 are desperate and creepy. Especially number 9. And the rest is kind of lame. Now that you've given me a glimpse of how your mind works, I can gladly discard your objections to what I wrote on my thread.
Author Imajerk17 Posted December 29, 2011 Author Posted December 29, 2011 (edited) And you criticized me for my reasons for rejecting guys and you seriously consider these headlines for your profile? Number 4,5,6,7,8,9 are desperate and creepy. Especially number 9. And the rest is kind of lame. Now that you've given me a glimpse of how your mind works, I can gladly discard your objections to what I wrote on my thread. Are you kidding? Line (7) is AWESOME!!! I'm thinking of saving it for my subject heading of my emails though, when I write much younger women whose age range I am way WAY out of. It would just come across as more personal that way, which I think only adds to its effect. Don't you agree?? Read my above post, the one just above yours. I like levity, and I also like sharing my sometimes weird and offensive sense of humor.... Edited December 29, 2011 by Imajerk17
curlygirl40 Posted December 29, 2011 Posted December 29, 2011 How about: 1. Some call it stalking, I call it surveilance 2. Wookin pa nub (remember Eddie Murphy in SNL?) 3. I live in a van down by the river!! (SNL again, hysterical bit!) 4. Insert catchy headline here... 5. Who's got that lovin' feelin' (takeoff on Righteous brothers song) 6. Hello....Is this thing on? 7. Where have you been all my life? Good luck!! Remember it's so hard to convey sense of humor on these things so some of yours might make someone laugh when they know you, but when they don't, some of them seem creepy/desperate
Author Imajerk17 Posted December 29, 2011 Author Posted December 29, 2011 how about: 1. Some call it stalking, i call it surveilance 2. Wookin pa nub (remember eddie murphy in snl?) 3. I live in a van down by the river!! (snl again, hysterical bit!) 4. Insert catchy headline here... 5. Who's got that lovin' feelin' (takeoff on righteous brothers song) 6. Hello....is this thing on? 7. Where have you been all my life? Good luck!! Remember it's so hard to convey sense of humor on these things so some of yours might make someone laugh when they know you, but when they don't, some of them seem creepy/desperate i love #1!
curlygirl40 Posted December 29, 2011 Posted December 29, 2011 I thought you might! LOL I saw it on a t-shirt I can't take claim to it.
oaks Posted December 29, 2011 Posted December 29, 2011 4. Insert catchy headline here... 7. Where have you been all my life? These two are overused already.
PlumPrincess Posted December 29, 2011 Posted December 29, 2011 Read my above post, the one just above yours. I like levity, and I also like sharing my sometimes weird and offensive sense of humor.... This is so Adam Sandler humor and I passionately hate this guy.
Author Imajerk17 Posted December 29, 2011 Author Posted December 29, 2011 This is so Adam Sandler humor and I passionately hate this guy. I'll take that as a compliment. Thanks!
Disenchantedly Yours Posted December 29, 2011 Posted December 29, 2011 Well, I liked number 1. But that was the only one I liked. Never, never, joke about "stalking" with women you don't know. The only time a man can joke about stalking is when he has been married to a woman 10 years+.
Andy_K Posted December 29, 2011 Posted December 29, 2011 How about: 1. Some call it stalking, I call it surveilance This is funny. (4) "Stalkers always know whether you got home safely..." (5) "Somebody, please, please, please, write me back!" (6) "I'm lonely, horny, and desperate. Will you be my friend?" These are creepy and lame! I think you should carefully consider the difference
dasein Posted December 29, 2011 Posted December 29, 2011 2. Wookin pa nub (remember Eddie Murphy in SNL?) Strangely enough, I used the above several years back for a couple weeks. No creeper vibe is a good idea, so don't really like the ones in the OP. Here's one you might try. "Why did the internet dater cross the road?" Then the answer as the first line of your profile, "in a mad dash to get out of the Starbucks and as far away as possible after 45 straight minutes of card tricks/knocknock jokes/descriptions of heinous exes/etc." Needs editing and cleaning up a bit, but has some potential and naturally leads into reading your profile.
SJC2008 Posted December 31, 2011 Posted December 31, 2011 None of them IMO. It's online so women are on guard to begin with, unless you're that hot rich guy they seem to be holding out for. In that case I'm sure you'll get a hall pass.
Author Imajerk17 Posted December 31, 2011 Author Posted December 31, 2011 FWIW, I was trying to be as weird and creepy as possible. Posted in s moment of levity.
lululucy Posted December 31, 2011 Posted December 31, 2011 I used a Jack Handey quote in the Deepest Secret part of my OKC profile when I had one (pretty much to test people's sense of humour) -- “To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad.” I knew as soon as someone said "Oh, that's so sad about your dad :(" that they were someone whose email I should ignore. However, if the response was something like "I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it" or another Handey quote, I knew at least one thing we had in common was a sense of humour. Just be prepared to lose a lot of people along the way if you go the non-obvious comedy route. Personally I think those people are well lost; I only had one date out of the seven I met that wasn't a fantastic conversationalist.
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