ThaWholigan Posted December 29, 2011 Posted December 29, 2011 Passed on to you by one who has lived in both roles. I really don't think, as others have pointed out, that women can handel being alone better. They just have more real life outlets for this in the form of their real world friends. Men's friendships are more superficial and talking about emotions is frowned upon in them. Notably that is even true among gay men. More over there are simply some men who no matter what cannot get a woman. I have yet to meet a woman who could not get a man. Short, tall, fat, skinny, deformed, mentally slow, etc...all have had men by age 25. This makes men more likely to be involuntarily celibate. To top it all off a man who's incel will be judged harshly. TL;DR Women have more real life outlets for their emotional frustrations. Men are judged harshly for being virgins over a certain age. This all adds up to lots of frustration to vent. Great post. I feel that it mirrors what I was saying before, that men's main outlet for their venting just happens to be on the internet, which would also coincide with the explosion in popularity of PUA. Men who are incel do get judged very very badly, and nobody really attempts to truly help them, but conversely they should also try and help themselves. I hear you though, it's very valid, and I do sometimes get annoyed at the lack of empathy shown towards this. I've met some guys who are truly lonely, and find it really difficult to get girls even though they try.
Woggle Posted December 29, 2011 Posted December 29, 2011 If women really are just as lonely why do some of them have to constantly tell men how unneeded and unwanted we are?
El Brujo Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 If women really are just as lonely why do some of them have to constantly tell men how unneeded and unwanted we are? Probably for the same reason virginity is a bad thing but nobody seems to know exactly why.
Mrlonelyone Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 @EL Brujo Yes the assexual are the sexual minority no one thinks of. Yet in many ways if someone is honest about that they will be judged in harsh ways. i.e. some people will assume you must be into some kinky thing when no one is looking. @woggle If women are saying that it must be to men who aren't up to their standard. That standard being whatever the woman thinks she should get.
thatone Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 If women really are just as lonely why do some of them have to constantly tell men how unneeded and unwanted we are? how long have you been married and haven't figured out that whenever a woman tells you something you can probably assume it's the opposite of what she's really thinking? however there is some truth to the above quote, in some sense of basic primal roles. in western societies a good number of women don't need a 'provider'. you can get any material thing you want on credit (even without the ability to repay any loans, until 2008). so i think a lot of men have had their primary role from the past yanked out from under them, so to speak. the exception to that is the stupid ones who went off and had 3 kids with the dumbass pot head they dated in college, who then need to find a new husband to provide for the kids when the ex bad guy boyfriend winds up in prison. there are lots of those out there.
coffee.girl Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 A girl like vehrzn sticks out on here because she seems to be one of the few women on here who cant attarct Men at all and even she had a few boyfriends and flings... Well, I don't post much but I lurk here a lot and feel like I have the same problems as vehrzn. I'm an average girl and have been in a relationship before but I certainly don't experience the 'being hit on multiple times a day' (or even multiple times a year!) phenomenon that a lot of the men here seem to think is the norm. In fact, I took the initiative to casually ask out a guy the other week and was brushed off! Perhaps I should post more, to make Love Shack a little more representative.
Wolf18 Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 I'm 100% confident that a girl with similar but female version of my looks, slim/athletic body build, strong protective streak, lovability, intelligence, humor, and other attributes as me would be considered a 9 out of 10. But as a man, the standards are different. Add in my 1-2 inches under average height, don't have a car, and making about 17-18 thousand a year doing oddjobs . I'm considered maybe a 5-6 at best. Wherever you think you stand on the totem pole, subtract 2-3 points if you're a man, and add 2-3 if you're female. Just the way it goes, sperm you can get a whole wide variety at the bargain bin of wal mart , eggs come only once a month
El Brujo Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 Just the way it goes, sperm you can get a whole wide variety at the bargain bin of wal mart , eggs come only once a month True... but look at all the idiot genes in most samples of modern sperm.
irc333 Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 I see what you mean, it's awkward when some men are at a gathering of other friends, when they've talked about their 20th sexual escapade, while their other friends told an amusing story about their umpteenth one, where you have no real escapades to share (because they are so few and far between) because you just are lucky to even get a lunch date with a lady, much less a make-out session. Socializing in this aspect can make things offer when you not much to share. I hear these stories of how their mates cheated on them, and these women look like a perfect 10 (to me), and I think that I'm not even good looking enough to cheat, thus......how could I even POSSIBLY consider cheating on a woman that's a 10, IF I were ever lucky enough to obtain one (hypothetically that is). In terms of people who cant even find a date or any interest at all from the opposite sex it seems to be a lot more Men then women.. A girl like vehrzn sticks out on here because she seems to be one of the few women on here who cant attarct Men at all and even she had a few boyfriends and flings.. It seems like theryes tons of Men on here who are in their 20's and 30's and never been with a women at all.. I wonder the reason that there is such disparity and more struggle with men
irc333 Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 Vehrzn is one of the few women willing to OPENLY TALK ABOUT IT here among men. So many other lonely women out there will walk around with a bold "I don't need a man" mentality, but when they're with close friends they'll cry/lament on how they can't find love. You don't hear it often in general with women being desperate, but I do see it on Facebook wall whinings from time to time. There was this one woman, approaching New Years, she'd say something cute like, "Who is going to be my New Years Date this year?" Just to see what kind of response she would get, obviously having no interest in ANY man on her FB Friends list probably, just vying for their attention. Or say something like,"Oh, I wish I wouldn't be so lonely on Valentines day tonight!" Just teasing and toying with men, that they don't really need, just having a little fun at their expense on FB. Tell you what, that's one quick trip OFF my friends list.
kaylan Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 Because men are a lot more easier to get than women. ^This^ When guys have higher standards and are more picky, things even out quickly. Some dudes would call me dumb for the girls ive neglected to date, but I only date women I see myself with during the long term or I feel its a waste of time. Sure everyone gets lonely not having that special someone, but Id rather have the right girl with me, then just any decent girl. Until then, I am gonna be cool with being single, and just meet gals and have fun with my mates.
MGD3 Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 You would honestly be surprised at the amount of women who really do want a nice, confident, bold man. Trust me, they're suffering just as much as lonely men are. It takes two to make a relationship. I highly doubt a large amount of these women out there are sharing one boyfriend. The last few women I have met and dated that I thought were single ended up having many men chasing them so I want to find these truly single women lol!!!!!
Mrlonelyone Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 No one is ever EVER truly single. Even the most homely person has someone else who likes them. Even if the homely one does not realize it. It's a competition. You have to be the best man the woman can get. 1
irc333 Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 The last few women I have met and dated that I thought were single ended up having many men chasing them so I want to find these truly single women lol!!!!! Man, there's this woman I know that's been playing guys locally. She's had a LONG term "on and off" LONG DISTANCE relationship with what she referred to as a boyfriend. BUT.....would date men locally. These men had no idea about this LDR, and thought THEY were the ONLY man in her life.....little did they know about the long-distance relationship she had going on. Apparently, if she had no guy to date locally.....she'd take trips a few states away to see her man for the weekend. WHen she came back home, she'd find guys to date locally as well, if for some reason if she was "on the outs" with said boyfriend up north.
MGD3 Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 Man, there's this woman I know that's been playing guys locally. She's had a LONG term "on and off" LONG DISTANCE relationship with what she referred to as a boyfriend. BUT.....would date men locally. These men had no idea about this LDR, and thought THEY were the ONLY man in her life.....little did they know about the long-distance relationship she had going on. Apparently, if she had no guy to date locally.....she'd take trips a few states away to see her man for the weekend. WHen she came back home, she'd find guys to date locally as well, if for some reason if she was "on the outs" with said boyfriend up north. Some will say men have been doing that for a long time but the truth is both sexes are guilty of it! These types of experiences have taught me to have a better selection process! I don't know if it is working yet, we will see what happens with the woman I am getting to know now lol!
SilverLining Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 I think most people tend to not want to blame themselves, no matter their gender. It's easier that way. There aren't more lonely men than women. Men seem to be lonely for sexual encounters, women are lonely for love and stable relationships. Women can get casual sex even if they aren't that attractive, but don't prefer it over a relationship. Guys will approach for sex but want nothing more from the woman THAN sex. What follows is that women feel demeaned and as if their only positive quality is sex itself. They tend to complain and cry to their friends (which men don't always see) and men tend to go online because our culture prohibits men from confiding in one another. Women tend to want men that they feel are attractive, and this can change with preference. We are told not to be too forward and let the man approach because that indicates interest...so when a guy doesn't approach it means he's not interested. Yes, men should be bold. I know a few very unattractive guys who dress well, have hobbies and decent jobs, and great personalities. They always find girlfriends because they approach and approach and approach. If 100 women say no, a couple will say yes. Yes, I know it's disheartening. It's also disheartening for women to meet someone, actually like them, and then find out that they are just being picked up for sex and that the guy has no interest in them as people. This seems to be about 90% of the male population sometimes, and women can get frustrated and act accordingly. I think that if guys started to pursue RELATIONSHIPS rather than casual sex, women might be approached less and treated better, and might be kinder and more willing to consider men as a whole. But then men need to consider women as a whole too, and not just how hot they are.
SilverLining Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 Oh, and I think I should point out that men tend to go for the most attractive women and ignore the others, no matter how attractive they themselves are. I think this contributes a lot to this. In my own experience, I'm decently attractive and I get hit on all the time - on the way to work (train/bus, I was even asked out somewhat recently by the guy in the next car during a traffic jam), when I am AT work by coworkers or people that come into the workplace, when I am out alone or with girlfriends. But I also have some VERY attractive friends that I would rate higher than myself. Despite being able to hold my own and clearly having no trouble getting dates, whenever I am with one of these girls I am literally completely ignored. I think a lot of guys are competitive and gravitate to the 'most attractive girl in the room'. Women do this too, but it's more about who is attractive to them on a personal level, while a lot of men seem to want someone that the majority might think attractive. Thus there are 20 girls in the room that they ignore while they concentrate on the one girl that every guy wants, and it's silly since there are many above average women in the room.
Author AD1980 Posted December 30, 2011 Author Posted December 30, 2011 (edited) Oh, and I think I should point out that men tend to go for the most attractive women and ignore the others, no matter how attractive they themselves are. I think this contributes a lot to this. In my own experience, I'm decently attractive and I get hit on all the time - on the way to work (train/bus, I was even asked out somewhat recently by the guy in the next car during a traffic jam), when I am AT work by coworkers or people that come into the workplace, when I am out alone or with girlfriends. But I also have some VERY attractive friends that I would rate higher than myself. Despite being able to hold my own and clearly having no trouble getting dates, whenever I am with one of these girls I am literally completely ignored. I think a lot of guys are competitive and gravitate to the 'most attractive girl in the room'. Women do this too, but it's more about who is attractive to them on a personal level, while a lot of men seem to want someone that the majority might think attractive. Thus there are 20 girls in the room that they ignore while they concentrate on the one girl that every guy wants, and it's silly since there are many above average women in the room. I dont buy that imo men have more diverse taste then women,all my friends have different taste in women Out of my social circle all the women basically went after my one really good looking friend when we we're younger Plus you say women dont want to be used for sex but if a medciore looking women gets hit on and sex from a attractive Men above her league she may not like that she was used but her ego might be inflated thinking good looking guys are attracted to her.. Where an unattratcive guy a lot of times gets nothing not sex or a relationship and numerous rejections the minute he approaches a women and she acts like it's a crime he entered her airspace Edited December 30, 2011 by AD1980
El Brujo Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 You have to be the best man the woman can get. It doesn't necessarily work like that. Even if the guy has no baggage and is a billionaire, women will turn him down because they think they're gypping him out of something.
SilverLining Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 If a really unattractive guy approaches me I admit it can be a little insulting. People want to stay within their 'range' of attractiveness. It's like..."Do you REALLY think that you have a chance? Now I have to go through the motions of turning you down which is uncomfortable and just plain sucky, then I have to feel bad for being shallow". Plus some of these guys can be relentless. Now, I completely agree that these guys could be wonderful and in a setting that allows me to get to know them before they ask me out, there's more of a chance that they might not get turned down...but in a bar where it's mostly looks first substance after? No. I actually agree that women tend to all want one guy - that happened in my elementary school too - but I think it's something that happens when you are young. As we get older, I see more and more than women are ending up with guys that are sometimes less attractive. I agree that guys definitely like different things and will approach different women. I'm more talking about the bar scene. The girls will all want different guys and they aren't always the hottest. The guys all focus on one woman. Maybe this is different outside of the bars, though.
SilverLining Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 I've got a few friends and family members that are absolutely gorgeous, and they ended up with distinctly less attractive men. In each situation, the men were above average in personality and hobbies. They weren't rich, but had interesting jobs that they loved. I only know one or two men that dated far less attractive women and there was a lot more WTF attitudes about it than there were for the women. IMO, women are less discerning about looks than men are.
ptp Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 tThe dating world is just tilted in favor of women. If you took a brother and sister who were on the same level of physical attractiveness and both had good personalities, the sister would get more attention from guys and have an easier time dating than the brother. Unfortunate facts of life.
SilverLining Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 Disagree, PTP. The girl would get approached by men more for sex only. The brother would not get sex as often, but when he did find a woman who accepted his advances it would more likely lead to a relationship. It's less likely that the sister would end up in a relationship. In my experience, the guy approaches the woman to see if she is interested, and if she is it's the MAN who determines if it becomes sex or a relationship. He might get less attention initially but when he does it's more likely to be something substantial. This is why I think dating is actually tilted in favor of men.
Author AD1980 Posted December 30, 2011 Author Posted December 30, 2011 If a really unattractive guy approaches me I admit it can be a little insulting. People want to stay within their 'range' of attractiveness. It's like..."Do you REALLY think that you have a chance? Now I have to go through the motions of turning you down which is uncomfortable and just plain sucky, then I have to feel bad for being shallow". Plus some of these guys can be relentless. Now, I completely agree that these guys could be wonderful and in a setting that allows me to get to know them before they ask me out, there's more of a chance that they might not get turned down...but in a bar where it's mostly looks first substance after? No. Leagues or "range of attractiveness" isnt that easy to detect...People dont walk around with a "im a 7" sticker on their head Most people walking around are either average or a little below or above very few people walking around are 10's or hideous so its not easy to know your "league" Ill approach women i find attractive..Im not gonna approach a women i dont find attractive because i think she might be in my league or might say yes thats not fair to me or her..
ptp Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 (edited) Disagree, PTP. The girl would get approached by men more for sex only. The brother would not get sex as often, but when he did find a woman who accepted his advances it would more likely lead to a relationship. It's less likely that the sister would end up in a relationship. In my experience, the guy approaches the woman to see if she is interested, and if she is it's the MAN who determines if it becomes sex or a relationship. He might get less attention initially but when he does it's more likely to be something substantial. This is why I think dating is actually tilted in favor of men. You are agreeing with me. This wasn't a question about who has it easier to form relationships, it was a question about opportunities. The opportunities to be romantically involved with a person of the opposite sex. It is undeniable that it is easier for women to meet men. I can tell you countless examples from my own experiences. Even here on LS, you will never see a thread created by a female who is a virgin or a female who has trouble getting dates. Yet you see plenty of threads created by men who are either virgins or can't even get girls to give them the opportunity to get romantically involved. You want another example, take online dating. How many women complain about not getting messages in online dating? Conversely almost every week there is a thread about some poor guy who has to email 30 women to get even 1 response. Women just have more opportunities then men do. How fruitful those opportunities are is a different question. I stand by my statement, the dating world is tilted in favor of women. Edited December 30, 2011 by ptp
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