sweetsarah Posted December 29, 2011 Posted December 29, 2011 Hello everyone, so I have started talking to my ex again and I have some questions and advice to ask you. First of all, I don't understand why he's been calling me by my old nickname, says he misses me, thinks I'm pretty, and tells me to text/call him whenever when he doesn't text on his own. When I do text him, it takes him hours. If I don't text him that day, he doesn't even bother texting me at all. He never asks me if I want to hang out with him, knowing I will be gone to college in another city in a matter of few weeks. Should I even bother talking to him or should I just leave him as my ex and move on? I miss the memories we had, but I am getting frustrated by the way he is acting.
CocoaBrown Posted December 29, 2011 Posted December 29, 2011 Did you make the post about your boyfriend who was a wannabe rapper and now he's going to barber school or something like that? I can't remember....let me know.
Jane2011 Posted December 29, 2011 Posted December 29, 2011 Don't talk to him. Just move on. I had a break up with a guy recently (twice -- we broke up once and it didn't stick, and a second time in which it is sticking). I refused to stay with him because he is in an open relationship with another girl. He treated me very well, but I can't do polyamory. He also told me, during both break-up conversations, "You can still call me" and "message me." In both cases, I just sort of politely murmured an unconvincing "mmm...yeah" that he could probably tell meant "yeah, right." I'm not going to talk to him. As far as I'm concerned, people just need to f**k off and stay out of my life. (I don't mean that blanketly; there have been a few exes and/or short-lived flings that I've stayed friends with and it's worked out well). But with some people, I'm more inclined to think...f**k off. (Even if I liked them a lot; in fact, more so if I liked them a lot).
Jane2011 Posted December 29, 2011 Posted December 29, 2011 Here's why you shouldn't "text" and "call" an ex that you still have feelings for. Often, they just want attention. They just want to know you're still there for them. They want to occupy a little piece of your mind to get the sense that you're not entirely freed up for other men (or women, if you're a guy). That's why they just want the distant contact, i.e. calls and texts. None of that requires actually doing anything for you or making a true concession to your importance to them, like actually dating you or sacrificing being with someone else for you. They just want attention. Receiving texts and calls is something everyone likes. From friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, family, etc. Don't give that to him. If he can't give you meaningful things that you really want, you can't give him little bits of attention that feed his ego. You can't give him the joy of you. I know my dude would love to just still talk to me and hear about my day and just experience me still, even though he won't make the sacrifice to give up that other girl. But I'm not going to give him even an inch.
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