Lonely Ronin Posted December 29, 2011 Posted December 29, 2011 In the last six months I've had a close friend tell me that two of her friends (in LT relationships) have a thing for me. I'm not talking a I think he is cute thing, it's more of an invite him to go out with us, so I can flirt, him on, be touchy feely with, try and go home with him thing. In one case, it was so completely over the top that it made me uncomfortable to the point that I left the gathering early. What posses a woman to act this way, and more importantly, what would make a woman think a guy would be accepting of advances in this type of scenario? The last thing I want to do is be giving off some kind of horrible vibe.
carhill Posted December 29, 2011 Posted December 29, 2011 External validation vampire They know that a subset of men don't care about relationship boundaries It's the dark side of power When I described such a circumstance in one of my journals, a few LS ladies opined it was a 'situational ego feed'. I was irrelevant in that feed, rather just convenient.
Author Lonely Ronin Posted December 29, 2011 Author Posted December 29, 2011 They know that a subset of men don't care about relationship boundaries This concerns me, because I'm pretty much at the opposite end of the spectrum. I was raised in a very traditional/old school household, my parents are high school sweethearts. Honesty an ethics are important to me, and while no ones perfect, the actions of these two women, is all kinds of wrong. It is good to hear that it's not based on something that I'm doing. Now i just need to come up with a good non embarrassing (to them) way of letting women know I'm not interested and don't find it acceptable at all.
Pizzaman81 Posted December 29, 2011 Posted December 29, 2011 This concerns me, because I'm pretty much at the opposite end of the spectrum. I was raised in a very traditional/old school household, my parents are high school sweethearts. Honesty an ethics are important to me, and while no ones perfect, the actions of these two women, is all kinds of wrong. It is good to hear that it's not based on something that I'm doing. Now i just need to come up with a good non embarrassing (to them) way of letting women know I'm not interested and don't find it acceptable at all. Show them your samurai sword and all will be ok.
AD1980 Posted December 29, 2011 Posted December 29, 2011 Happened to me a few times,like carhill alluded to i was just a pawn nothing more they either wanted to make their husband jealous or get an ego boost Unfortunately attention whoring is a national pasttime for many women
kiss_andmakeup Posted December 29, 2011 Posted December 29, 2011 They're not getting enough attention or validation in their current relationships, but they're too insecure or scared of being alone to end them. So they're seeking external validation (as carhill said) and they've chosen you for whatever reason. These aren't types I'd want to be involved with, personally. Unless it's just for fun and you're okay with that sort of thing.
Ruby Slippers Posted December 29, 2011 Posted December 29, 2011 Well, for a while here recently, Victoria's Secret marketed one of their bras as "The Player". "Playing" right out in the open isn't just for men anymore. I'd treat these women just as I would their male counterparts -- avoid them as though they are swarming with contagious disease.
Woggle Posted December 29, 2011 Posted December 29, 2011 I really am surprised no women have posted saying that he is just being sexist and trying to control women's sexuality and how is just mad that women are doing the same things men do. This kind of stuff and the way some women actively encourage it can ruin my mood in a matter of seconds. I would just stay away from these women.
turt Posted December 29, 2011 Posted December 29, 2011 I've had the same thing happen as well! I always wondering the reasoning for it. I'd assume there are different reasons.
carhill Posted December 29, 2011 Posted December 29, 2011 This concerns me, because I'm pretty much at the opposite end of the spectrum. I was raised in a very traditional/old school household, my parents are high school sweethearts. Honesty an ethics are important to me, and while no ones perfect, the actions of these two women, is all kinds of wrong. Yep, so was I and, combined with being socialized to 'give the benefit of the doubt', I was befuddled by this for years before finally seeing the light. It would take a few more decades to kill the 'benefit of the doubt' disease but finally that's buried now too. Now, when MW's approach me, it's 'how does your H feel about that?' and 'I'd suggest MC'. My therapist hat is reserved for LS
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