GG3 Posted December 29, 2011 Posted December 29, 2011 We have been together off and on for five years. When we first got together we had a lot of passion and our connection was incredible. But 5 years of problems have just taken their toll. Things have really fizzled. He has issues with alcohol, selfishness and porn addiction. He's attempted to do counseling 3 times now and quits after one session because he just doesn't want to do it. He needs a lot of attention constantly and long ago that was once cute to me. Now I'm annoyed and feel more like a mom to him than a girlfriend. I wouldn't be surprised if he has some ADD. (I'm younger than him too which makes it more annoying.) His porn addiction has turned our s*x-life into a non-intimacy get off session where he visualizes porn while we do it instead of being in the moment. I've told him to stop or pointed out that this isn't normal and he stares at me like I'm speaking another language and don't know what I'm talking about. He's very selfish and self-centered and he admits it. I have strep throat this week which is horribly painful. He doesn't even seem to care and has been sending me updates that his throat feels fine because it's more important that he doesn't get sick than if I am okay or how I am doing. My point isn't to bash him just to say...I do love this person and at this point he is like an old friend that I just don't want to let go of. But he's so unhealthy for me I have to. He isn't going to get help, that's become clear. Perhaps I was younger then when we first got together and was in a different place. But I've realized that I deserve more and I WANT more. I want better and I'm so ready for it. How do you move on from someone that you know you can't have in your life anymore but just don't want to let go of? I don't even know why I don't want to move on. I can't say I really enjoy the time I spend with him because of how he treats me. And for some reason it would be really painful to see him with someone else. I don't have much of a support system. No family. I don't see my friends too often, we are all busy. How do you just finally let go and realize in 5 years you will both be somewhere else in life?
perfectlyflawed459 Posted December 29, 2011 Posted December 29, 2011 Acceptance. Accept that it won't work out with this person and you will find more peace within yourself. Allow yourself to forgive this person for any pain he has caused you and forgive yourself for anything you feel you did wrong. Then you can truly start to let go and live your life. It is easier said than done, but you can do it
chados Posted December 29, 2011 Posted December 29, 2011 porn addiction is a huge problem for woman, and alcohol to of course, but just be careful with what youre doing. sit down and have a serious talk, something kept you two going for five years. relationships arent easy, it takes two to tango.
Author GG3 Posted December 29, 2011 Author Posted December 29, 2011 porn addiction is a huge problem for woman, and alcohol to of course, but just be careful with what youre doing. sit down and have a serious talk, something kept you two going for five years. relationships arent easy, it takes two to tango. True but you can't make someone stop things they don't want to stop. I've known him for years and I know he isn't going to really get help or stop. And I can't have someone trying to make me have s*x with them like that. It's so meaningless and I feel used.
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