daisydukes Posted December 29, 2011 Posted December 29, 2011 I recently ran into an old ex from my past. He is a ex I dated when I was a senior in High School and we dated straight through my freshman year in college. We wound up breaking up mutually and haven't spoken to each other since we broke up but when I ran into him these feelings started coming back:confused: I started thinking to myself maybe we should give each other another shot so I added him on facebook and then messaged him saying hey tim it was good seeing you the other day. I always wondered and thought about you so how have you been? Why I said wondered and thought about you now the more I think about it sounds desperate! I recently broke-up so my thinking is really off and maybe I am looking for a rebound? Has anyone ever been in a situation where you want an old ex back even if years have passed?
Philosoraptor Posted December 29, 2011 Posted December 29, 2011 Many people seek that familiarity after a breakup. Why try with an unknown commodity when you know what you have with someone... even if it wasn't good enough to last in the past. It's one of the reasons when people are unhappy that they run back to an old flame... just so much easier than moving on fully.
Soxfaninfl Posted December 29, 2011 Posted December 29, 2011 If you don't pursue him then you will ever know it was meant to be. Some times the 2nd time around is much better.
Author daisydukes Posted December 29, 2011 Author Posted December 29, 2011 He ended up messaging me back and he told me how he was doing and where he is working etc,etc and I said if you ever want to grab a drink after work let me know. So now the ball is in his court:p
CaliGuy Posted December 29, 2011 Posted December 29, 2011 He ended up messaging me back and he told me how he was doing and where he is working etc,etc and I said if you ever want to grab a drink after work let me know. So now the ball is in his court:p Good luck with this. If you're telling him this already he already knows in his head "If she wants me, I'm sure there are other options available as well." I know that sounds harsh but if he really wanted to be with you he'd be pursuing you. From a dumper and dumpee's perspective (myself), that is how any chance of reconciling works. The DUMPER (not the dumpee) has to want it and even then, the odds of it not working are very high. It's a break up because it was broken...
Author daisydukes Posted December 30, 2011 Author Posted December 30, 2011 Ya I suppose you are right. I am in a very vulnerable state right now. I guess I am looking for rebounds and even going after past exes. I just got burnt in my last relationship and I suppose I am looking for someone to fix it or something. I need therapy:*(
carhill Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 Try being alone for a few months. It's cheaper than therapy
Author daisydukes Posted December 30, 2011 Author Posted December 30, 2011 I was alone for the last 2 years and then I met who I thought was the man of my dreams and needless to say that came crashing down and did a number on me. I just miss the cuddling, the I love yous,etc. I was happy being single for so long and then when I started dating again I realized how much I missed it and then when it all ended I miss it again. I hope that makes sense:o
wilsonx Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 Do whatever feels right for you. I use to give the be single for a while advice, but in the end, the heart wants what the heart wants. Just guard it and be careful. There is nothing wrong with wanting love and affection and returning that to the right person
CaliGuy Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 Ya I suppose you are right. I am in a very vulnerable state right now. I guess I am looking for rebounds and even going after past exes. I just got burnt in my last relationship and I suppose I am looking for someone to fix it or something. I need therapy:*( Don't look for someone else to "fix" you. Fix yourself first, learn to be happy alone and single and get yourself in a good state of mind and you'll find someone who truly feels the same way as you do.
Author daisydukes Posted January 4, 2012 Author Posted January 4, 2012 Thanks Cali. I finally realized what was I thinking? Clearly rebound obviously and wasn't thinking straight. I need to focus on me first:bunny:
yzyzyz325 Posted January 5, 2012 Posted January 5, 2012 'the one of dream'? Does anyone in here believe that now? There is no the one in this world, there always will be problems in a relationship. Try to fix those problems before calling the relationship off only because you dont feel he/she is the one
carhill Posted January 5, 2012 Posted January 5, 2012 Has anyone ever been in a situation where you want an old ex back even if years have passed? So far, no, and that spans nearly 35 years now. I did come close with an old affair partner (not an ex) but saw the marked regression of behaviors in myself (unhealthy) and called the game due to darkness. Clearly rebound obviously and wasn't thinking straight. I need to focus on me first Perhaps validation was the impetus. No harm in feeling that. Sounds like your head is in a healthy place. Watch the heart; it can tempt the head like the serpent tempted Eve. BTDT, especially when playing the 'good times' tapes.
Author daisydukes Posted January 6, 2012 Author Posted January 6, 2012 I suppose I am still healing. I have moved past him and now I want the ex who recently broke my heart by cheating on me and I want him back after everything he did to me? First of all he cheated, lied, played games with my heart and I want him back? He contacts me every once and awhile ( usually random things about TV shows or movies) and I get this glimmer of hope that he wants me back but yet he was a total a-hole so why would I want him back after everything he did? I thought I was getting better not getting worse and wanting him back.
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