Just a bad night... I hate everything that happened.

[ZimboGon]

You guys have probably seen my posts around here, waiting hopefully for my ex to come back. Its just really hard, and everyday something happens or a thought crosses my mind and my stomach just sinks and i have to pick myself back up.

 

I just don't get what went wrong. I was so good to her. I was always there for her. Whenever she needed me i was there. I made sure to be a great boyfriend to her always. She was a great girlfriend, too...

 

Then everything changes, she started lying and hiding things from me. I kept opening myself up to her more and more, and we decided to work on our relationship. But the whole time she was just lying. She kept using me over and over and over again and i didn't want to do anything but overlook it and keep giving her second chances. I blow so much money on a trip for us, and during the trip she tells me how much she loves me and everything and in a matter of days after we get back she leaves me for another guy. Some loser who just kept manipulating her over and over again. I kept warning her to stay away from him, i knew just what he was doing! He's had a history of cheating before and using other girls.

 

She didn't care, and she broke up with me. Afterwards, she just kept stringing me along and stringing me along, getting my hopes up over and over again, while she got comfy with him until i walked in on them together.

 

Afterwards, she painted me black and told everyone i was a bad boyfriend. She's acting like i was nothing to her, like i didn't mean anything. I was her world, i meant everything to her and i did everything i could possibly do to make her happy yet she could just THROW it away like that? Why? What could she possibly want out of this other guy? Why didn't she care about how i felt at all?

 

So many days i would run to her when she was in trouble and she would cry in my arms about everything, and i promised her i would always be there for her and protect her. When did everything change to where she doesn't give a sh*t about me anymore? She was so loving and caring and jealous and everything, and it just switched off to this cold, mean, manipulative person.

 

This is just a moment of weakness... But, i just keep my faith. I know what we had was special. It meant a lot, and we made some of the best memories we've ever had together. She loved me, and i loved her. It was great, and everything just... changed. It doesn't make any sense. But i promised i would always be there for her... so now i just sit around every day bettering myself, hoping she's going to snap out of it and come back. wishing she will realize what she lost and come running back into my arms. She'll realize she was a complete idiot.

 

From what i hear, her relationship with this guy isn't going well at all. I'm just waiting for it to crumble. When she and i dated, she wanted to be with me 24/7 and wouldn't take no for an answer, and she rarely ever sees this guy. Everyone tells me they seem awkward and she almost seems embarrassed of him.

 

But if this is true, why has it been 7 weeks since the BU, 5 weeks of NC and i still haven't heard anything from her? She begged and begged and begged to be friends with me after we broke up. She even asked me to WAIT for her to come back after this guy. I told her no, and i shut her out.

 

But... I used to be so important to her. So important, she would just cry at the notion of ever making me upset. She would wake up every morning and i was the first thing she ever thought about. So how can she act so normal and casual now without me? Like nothing happened? Like i mean nothing?

 

Baaaaahhhhh....

 

EDIT: the worst part is... I'm not even angry at her anymore. I forgive her. I'm angry at myself. Angry for holding out hope every day that she's going to come back to me.

Edited December 29, 2011 by ZimboGon

[Mcnulty]

God, i;m in the same boat mate, you're not alone.

 

Was there for her through the last trying year for her, did my best to support her and she stops contacting me, then wham, I hear off my own mother that she's put, "in a relationship" on FB...with my so called friend!

 

Betrayal, hurt, anger, been through and going through them all...still and it's been 2 and a half months for me. Christmas has made it worse..thinking about her even more...makes me sick, so no, you're certainly not alone.

 

I'm not even gonna bother with positive words here...just tired of my life and my feelings and like you angry at myself for feeling this way.

[ZimboGon]

I lost everything i had fighting for her. She took away all my pride, all my dignity. I was a strong, confident person. Always there for her showing her that there is always a positive side to anything. She made me break down in tears for the first time in i don't know how long. I cried so hard because i kept trying, as hard as i possibly could, and she just kept lying and she really just didn't give a damn.

 

She acts like she is on top of the world right now, but deep down i want her to just snap out of it and hit rock bottom like i did. Realize what it feels like to be used and alone, and i want her to come crawling back to me. So i can embrace her with open arms again. So i can just hear about her and this other guy, and say the words "I told you so." She has no idea what she did to me, she is way too immature. But despite all that, i really do care about her. I care about her future, her well-being, and everything.

[fificremefarben]

There's a chance your friends are telling you what you want to hear (about the two of them not getting on). When my beat guy friend saw the girl my guy left me for at the gym he told me she looks like a cat crossed with a pumpkin. I'm sure she doesn't, lol.

 

I get the sense though that she wasn't 100% sure about her decision when she left and, if what your friends tell you is true then she's likely already seeing that the grass wasn't greener. Seems the only thing likely stoppin her from gettig back in touch is pride. Damn pride!!

[ZimboGon]

There's a chance your friends are telling you what you want to hear (about the two of them not getting on). When my beat guy friend saw the girl my guy left me for at the gym he told me she looks like a cat crossed with a pumpkin. I'm sure she doesn't, lol.

 

I get the sense though that she wasn't 100% sure about her decision when she left and, if what your friends tell you is true then she's likely already seeing that the grass wasn't greener. Seems the only thing likely stoppin her from gettig back in touch is pride. Damn pride!!

 

Mmm, well i've heard this from 5 people including her brother. I knew they wouldn't last, EVERYONE was saying that when they got together. I know she wasn't sure, it wasn't one of those "I don't love you anymore break-ups", because she did. The relationship just needed a bit more commitment, and she jumped ship to this guy who had been her emotional doormat whenever she and i had a fight.

 

It might not be pride, i'm a bit worried about that actually. She's a very passive person, so she isn't very forward with her feelings, hence why our break-up was a trainwreck. When i caught them together, i told her never to contact me again, indirectly called her a b*tch, and blocked contact with her. So, at this point she probably thinks i hate her, when it is actually the opposite. She may be too afraid to even consider contacting me after everything she did. I've run into her twice within the past few weeks, and she immediately avoids me so i know she still cares, if she can't handle seeing me.

 

But, i can't be the one to break no contact, especially since she is dating this guy and after everything she did to me. I can't ask for HER back.

[BrokenFool]

ZimboGon

 

Please read my story you will see many similarities, just like yourself I posted the question do i break NC because I get the feeling the way the breakup went down with my ex she will be thinking i hate her, that i would never give her a chance again and is scared of contacting me , i have ONLY SINCE we broke up been receiving private number calls, texts from numbers i dont have stored in my phone and people i dont know enquiring as to whether i am single or not, fake facebook friend request etc - i believe in my heart of hearts its my ex but i wont contact her and i advise you not to either because

 

if you contact her and she isnt over the new guy she will see this as you jumping on a chance to paint the guy black and get back in there and it will make her desire for him stronger and your value less

 

if you make the first move and what your thinking is correct then ok fine in the short term you could get back together and things will be rosy again but in her heart she will always think i can break up with ZimboGon and get with somebody else and he will always be there for me to fall back on you will always be a backup in her life and you dont want that

 

you want her to feel i have lost ZimboGon over what ?? it was not worth it am i mad and for her to make the moves to get you back together

 

and remember this, my sister told me this

if she loves you and gets to value what you mean and all the things you did for her no amount of fear or pride will stop her from contacting you

 

have faith in your heart that what you had was special and she could get wiht 5 more guys and they wouldnt be able to replicate your love and do the things for her that you did - she will be back

 

in the meantime stick to nc onwards and upwards

 

god bless

[ZimboGon]

You're right. Thanks, i guess it would be better to continue no contact. I have faith that what we had actually meant something, so she should come back.