MsLandon Posted May 31, 2004 Posted May 31, 2004 Hey guys. First I'd like to say that you guys have been extremely helpful to me. Glad I found this place. Secondly, just to catch you up, I did go on the 3rd date - that was a movie or "blockbuster night" at his home. Although I'm incredibly attracted to him and he to me both mentally and physically (we've known each other for 2 years) I decided that it wasn't really fair to have sex with him yet because I haven't worked out my feelings about some other things. Of course I was worried about the things I'd heard about Blockbuster or movie nights at someone's home being code for sex plus that whole stupid 3rd date rule thing. Turns out we had a very much overwhelming evening just kissing and stuff. He didn't really push it beyond that and was tremendously concerned when I pulled away at one point. Just asking did he go to far was I ok, did he do anything wrong. I was actually shocked at his level of concern. It was very arttractive. I've mostly heard stories about men getting upset at the notion that the woman wasn't ready to go any further. Anyway things were great. My one complaint about our dating is that he doesn't call very often. At first I interpreted this as a possible lack of interest. But when I call - which is usually one day a week, he will return my call no more than a day later, but usually on the same date or within a few hours. Or if I get him when i first call he's always happy to hear from me and we generally have pretty long informative discussions. I'm not used to calling. But to a certain extent, I feel like this is a problem I've created for myself because I've told him that I like men who aren't clingy -- which is true. He knows that I am at a very busy point in my life (a HUGE event I've been planning will occur next Saturday so I've been stressed and stretching myself thin) so On the one hand I suppose he's giving me time to breath because of everything I've been doing and not wanting to seem clingy. A good friend who knows the both of us has said that he's trying to play his cards right and stay cool - not wanting to blow this because he's been planning it for almost a year and finally now the time is right. She has said that the only way to undo what I've said and done is for ME to up my communication with him to more than once a week so that he knows it's ok and that I want to talk to him more. My question again is, how do I go back and try to undo the impression I've set in this regard? Was My friend right? Thanks for your ear!
bluechocolate Posted May 31, 2004 Posted May 31, 2004 I think your friend is right. He's letting you call the shots because of the impression you've given him. You could try saying something like, "you know I'm usually free to talk on ________ evenings after dinner. If you feel like chatting just give me a ring." By the sounds of things he'll be calling you in no time!
Author MsLandon Posted June 1, 2004 Author Posted June 1, 2004 Originally posted by bluechocolate I think your friend is right. He's letting you call the shots because of the impression you've given him. You could try saying something like, "you know I'm usually free to talk on ________ evenings after dinner. If you feel like chatting just give me a ring." By the sounds of things he'll be calling you in no time! Why didn't I think of that??? Great suggestion. I think I'll try that after my event ends this weekend. I'll definately have more time then. Thanks.
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