Lil1 Posted December 28, 2011 Posted December 28, 2011 Not sure if this is the right forum for this but I just have one question: How is a man perceived if he flirts with women in a very blatant, unabashed, highly sexual way? The reason I ask is because last night I was really taken by surprise from a guy who did everything short of giving me a lap dance to get a date with me lol! He is a friend of a friend and he is ALWAYS very shy. He has been asking his cousin (a friend of mine)about me and last night while we were hanging out he pulled his shirt up and asked me to touch his fine chiseled abs and also asked me to spank him LOL!!! I have a big thing for butts, I love them! and he has super sexy muscles so I obliged him lol! He also told me that he's a good lover and will do anything to please his woman - oh the possibilities lol!! It was fun to flirt with him but it was something I've never experienced a guy doing. I gotta admit it was hot and it made me curious about sampling the wares lol!! But yet again... story of my life... he is only 24 years old . I'm done with younger men so hooking up with him is not an option (although I may introduce him to a friend or two!) BUT.. I just want to know what's the deal with a man pretty much offering his sexual talents so openly! I mean, if a woman did this she would completely be labeled a slut/ whore/ easy/ prostitute/ desperate/ whatever other bs, but it seems as though if a guy does this it's more forgivable. I mean there were some females giving me the stink eye last night! LOL! So I'm assuming that his antics worked on them or else why would they be hating right? Double Standards. They f**king SUCK!!
kaleidoscope Posted December 28, 2011 Posted December 28, 2011 From one guy's perspective I would say that the guy likes you from a looks/attraction perspective. But he doesn't consider you "marriage material" or someone long term or someone who really really wows him. At least not based on his behavior. A guy wouldn't do that to someone he really really wanted to have a relationship with. He likes you clearly from a "I would definitely do ya" perspective. Personally, that kind of infatuation attraction is fine. If he's been doing that to all the women there then its kind of a message that you're not super special. A guy who loves bedding women because he loves women and cares about them and enjoys them is one thing. A guy bedding women for sport regardless of how hurt the women's feelings are afterwards is another thing. Take the fictional character James Bond. He beds lots of women. Guys think he's cool. Twist that character into a jerk who beds married women, attached women or breaks single gals hearts because he gets a bit of nookie. I want to punch that guy in the face. The women who seem like "haters" may not like that you are getting all the attention. Or like you said they slept with him and feel belittled by his blatant behavior in front of them as if there was nothing special about the time they had with him. Either way, he seems immature to me even though he may be an ok guy with ok morals.
MrNate 2.0 Posted December 29, 2011 Posted December 29, 2011 Not sure if this is the right forum for this but I just have one question: How is a man perceived if he flirts with women in a very blatant, unabashed, highly sexual way? The reason I ask is because last night I was really taken by surprise from a guy who did everything short of giving me a lap dance to get a date with me lol! He is a friend of a friend and he is ALWAYS very shy. He has been asking his cousin (a friend of mine)about me and last night while we were hanging out he pulled his shirt up and asked me to touch his fine chiseled abs and also asked me to spank him LOL!!! I have a big thing for butts, I love them! and he has super sexy muscles so I obliged him lol! He also told me that he's a good lover and will do anything to please his woman - oh the possibilities lol!! It was fun to flirt with him but it was something I've never experienced a guy doing. I gotta admit it was hot and it made me curious about sampling the wares lol!! But yet again... story of my life... he is only 24 years old . I'm done with younger men so hooking up with him is not an option (although I may introduce him to a friend or two!) BUT.. I just want to know what's the deal with a man pretty much offering his sexual talents so openly! I mean, if a woman did this she would completely be labeled a slut/ whore/ easy/ prostitute/ desperate/ whatever other bs, but it seems as though if a guy does this it's more forgivable. I mean there were some females giving me the stink eye last night! LOL! So I'm assuming that his antics worked on them or else why would they be hating right? Double Standards. They f**king SUCK!! Lol, no worries. Just go do as you please, Lil1. It'll make life much more fulfilling.
Author Lil1 Posted December 29, 2011 Author Posted December 29, 2011 Thanks for that insight Kaleidoscope! your anology to James Bond is spot on! This guy is definitely a 'James Bond' type - from what his cousin tells me he gets a lot of ladies but doesnt really sleep around too much cause he's sensitive at heart. But I'm still in shock by his behavior from last night lol! I mean, I knew he was interested in me but daaamn! He literally was grabbing my hands and making me touch him all over! I think those other females were just jealous cause he really is a fine specimen;) He does seem like he would be a lot of fun in bed but I'm moving past that and he really is too young for me. So then does this type of blatant flirting happen only with young guys? It's funny cause I've had men of all ages proposition me for sex before but he is the first one that seriously put himself on display and I actually really enjoyed it lol! He really made me laugh a lot and he's got me thinking about him today... but I gotta stay strong!
kaylan Posted December 29, 2011 Posted December 29, 2011 (edited) OP, how old are you? But the reason guys dont get shamed as much is because sex is seen as "women giving, men taking". This doesnt mean he gets a free pass though. Society will still think hes a bit desperate and possibly dirty from sleeping around since hes so open to try to get a lay. So he will get shamed still, but not to the same degree a woman would. Since men are the ones who pursue most of the time, thats why shaming isnt equal. In a society where pursuing is more done in the same amount between genders, this wouldnt exist too much. Look at this : http://i39.tinypic.com/2vbtojn.jpg Personally I see no difference between Barney from "How I Met Your Mother" and Samantha from "Sex and the City" They both sleep around in a way that doesnt seem dirty. Their attitudes just seem funny, confident and inviting. Not over the top like your guy did. Id want to be Barney, and Id want to do Samantha. Edited December 29, 2011 by kaylan
NXS Posted December 29, 2011 Posted December 29, 2011 Not sure if this is the right forum for this but I just have one question: How is a man perceived if he flirts with women in a very blatant, unabashed, highly sexual way? The reason I ask is because last night I was really taken by surprise from a guy who did everything short of giving me a lap dance to get a date with me lol! He is a friend of a friend and he is ALWAYS very shy. He has been asking his cousin (a friend of mine)about me and last night while we were hanging out he pulled his shirt up and asked me to touch his fine chiseled abs and also asked me to spank him LOL!!! I have a big thing for butts, I love them! and he has super sexy muscles so I obliged him lol! He also told me that he's a good lover and will do anything to please his woman - oh the possibilities lol!! It was fun to flirt with him but it was something I've never experienced a guy doing. I gotta admit it was hot and it made me curious about sampling the wares lol!! But yet again... story of my life... he is only 24 years old . I'm done with younger men so hooking up with him is not an option (although I may introduce him to a friend or two!) BUT.. I just want to know what's the deal with a man pretty much offering his sexual talents so openly! I mean, if a woman did this she would completely be labeled a slut/ whore/ easy/ prostitute/ desperate/ whatever other bs, but it seems as though if a guy does this it's more forgivable. I mean there were some females giving me the stink eye last night! LOL! So I'm assuming that his antics worked on them or else why would they be hating right? Double Standards. They f**king SUCK!! There's no such thing as a "man slut", and no, it's not a double standard. Those super sexy muscles didn't just appear overnight, they took years of exercise and pain to build up. Same with his confidence, he had to learn the hard way from trial and error how to turn women on and put himself out there and be rejected. That's not equal to just flashing your eyelids and spreading your legs.
Author Lil1 Posted December 29, 2011 Author Posted December 29, 2011 OP, how old are you? But the reason guys dont get shamed as much is because sex is seen as "women giving, men taking". he will get shamed still, but not to the same degree a woman would. Since men are the ones who pursue most of the time, thats why shaming isnt equal. Look at this : http://i39.tinypic.com/2vbtojn.jpg Kaylan I'm 30. I see you agree that there is a double standard but it's ok because it fits our traditional male/female roles. Ok, I get it, very interesting pov. He was getting clowned on by some of his guy friends but he was also just being really silly and they were pretty much encouraging him. I was delightfully mortified the entire time! It was really the first time a guy has thrown himself at me in a somewhat respectful and sexy way. Not every guy can pull this sort of thing off. Still, I doubt any of the other girls thought he was being 'slutty'. Switch the genders around and you have an entirely different scenario with men probably pulling out dollar bills lmao!!
Author Lil1 Posted December 29, 2011 Author Posted December 29, 2011 There's no such thing as a "man slut", and no, it's not a double standard. No such thing as a man slut? That's what I was afraid of That is a double standard. Why doesn't the same response to the behavior/antics of a female slut apply to men? Even I don't think oh him as a slut! So why the double standard? Because a key that fits is more valuable than a ****ty lock LOL!!! Those super sexy muscles didn't just appear overnight, they took years of exercise and pain to build up. Same with his confidence, he had to learn the hard way from trial and error how to turn women on and put himself out there and be rejected. His fine ass muscles took him 8 months to build. I asked He is definitely confident, but judging from other members of his family that I have met (mainly his cousin's family, his cousin and I are friends) I'd say that confidence was instilled in him from childhood. THAT kind of confidence is really sexy:) As far as confidence with the ladies, I think he has it but from what my friend was saying he was in rare form last night lol! I think he really is more reserved. He was just being goofy and 'slutty' lol! That's not equal to just flashing your eyelids and spreading your legs. I get what you're saying, kinda goes back to the whole key/lock thing, but this is a really sh**tty way of saying it. Makes you sound spiteful (it's also not true. Women have to work just as hard if not more at maintaining the 'ideal' image of self). No need to take it to the extreme. If you really feel a deep resentment or hatred or whatever sh**tty hangup you have towards women you should really let it out... you might be happier in the long run. I mean this with no disrespect. But your perspective on men sluts IS appreciated by me so thank you for sharing
diskostu Posted December 29, 2011 Posted December 29, 2011 BUT.. I just want to know what's the deal with a man pretty much offering his sexual talents so openly! I mean, if a woman did this she would completely be labeled a slut/ whore/ easy/ prostitute/ desperate/ whatever other bs, but it seems as though if a guy does this it's more forgivable. I mean there were some females giving me the stink eye last night! LOL! So I'm assuming that his antics worked on them or else why would they be hating right? Double Standards. They f**king SUCK!! yes, double standards exist. always have, always will and?
diskostu Posted December 29, 2011 Posted December 29, 2011 His fine ass muscles took him 8 months to build. I asked ) you don't "build abs". if you want a six pack you diet down for the time needed to cut body fat percentage to about 11-12%. if he really was jacked, he has either trained hard for years or used steroids. don't be that naive woman.
NXS Posted December 29, 2011 Posted December 29, 2011 I get what you're saying, kinda goes back to the whole key/lock thing, but this is a really sh**tty way of saying it. Makes you sound spiteful (it's also not true. Women have to work just as hard if not more at maintaining the 'ideal' image of self). No need to take it to the extreme. If you really feel a deep resentment or hatred or whatever sh**tty hangup you have towards women you should really let it out... you might be happier in the long run. I mean this with no disrespect. But your perspective on men sluts IS appreciated by me so thank you for sharing You framed an innocent event where a guy was actually being nice to you in typical feminist language.
kaylan Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 (edited) There's no such thing as a "man slut", and no, it's not a double standard. Those super sexy muscles didn't just appear overnight, they took years of exercise and pain to build up. Same with his confidence, he had to learn the hard way from trial and error how to turn women on and put himself out there and be rejected. That's not equal to just flashing your eyelids and spreading your legs.There is such a thing as a man slut. Hence the use of the term today by people. Male sluts just dont get shamed the way female sluts do. This has to do with the lock and key thing I brought up before. Some women will avoid male sluts, the same way some men avoid female sluts. Their avoidance of these people can be for different reasons, be it moral reasons, fear of stds, or if the person is afraid of being used. Id say this guy is no different than the girl in the club who knows how to dance with confidence to reel guys in to ask her to dance. It is what it is. yes, double standards exist. always have, always will and? Meh, they exist. It is what it is. you don't "build abs". if you want a six pack you diet down for the time needed to cut body fat percentage to about 11-12%. if he really was jacked, he has either trained hard for years or used steroids. don't be that naive woman. I believe she said he built muscles. I dont see why you feel the need to be so specific and get into how exactly you make abs show. Noone asked nor cares about that in this thread. And actually, if you knew anything about working out, youd know people could do quite the transformation in a few months without steroids. So what you said was misinformation. P90x transforms people from flab to lean and toned with muscle. And also, actors transform for roles all the time. Brad Pitt and Christian Bale are examples, and their transformations took several months of training and were very possible without steroids. Christian Bale went from a stick figure when he filmed "The Machinist" to a nice lean muscle body when he filmed "Batman Begins". He wasnt big in the way that needed steroids. He was well within his natural range. And it would be dumb and dangerous for him to use roids given how depleted his body was after the Machinist. If you want to talk fitness, go to muscleandstength.com. and get some knowledge. You framed an innocent event where a guy was actually being nice to you in typical feminist language. Feminist logic? Why even start that crap? She asked a simple ass question. If the guys behavior denoted promiscuity, and if/why a double standard exists when a woman does the same thing. Personally I feel the dudes behavior prolly does show that he might get around a bit, in which case some people would proceed with caution. It depends on the person on how they view it. Chill out. Edited December 30, 2011 by kaylan
diskostu Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 And actually, if you knew anything about working out, youd know people could do quite the transformation in a few months without steroids. So what you said was misinformation. P90x transforms people from flab to lean and toned with muscle. And also, actors transform for roles all the time. i've been bodybuilding for almost ten years and have competed professionally. i think i know what i'm talking about. p90x is useless bull**** packed and marketed to the clueless masses. Brad Pitt and Christian Bale are examples, and their transformations took several months of training and were very possible without steroids. Christian Bale went from a stick figure when he filmed "The Machinist" to a nice lean muscle body when he filmed "Batman Begins". He wasnt big in the way that needed steroids. He was well within his natural range. And it would be dumb and dangerous for him to use roids given how depleted his body was after the Machinist. hollywood actors use steroids, hgh and insulin when they bulk up for roles. naturally you can only build about 0,5-1 lbs of lean body mass (muscle) per month if you have trained for more than 1 year. ...but you were right about one thing. this is besides the point. i have no interest in discussing weight training with a woman who knows absolutely nothing about it or even human physiology.
akazid Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 i've been bodybuilding for almost ten years and have competed professionally. i think i know what i'm talking about. p90x is useless bull**** packed and marketed to the clueless masses. hollywood actors use steroids, hgh and insulin when they bulk up for roles. naturally you can only build about 0,5-1 lbs of lean body mass (muscle) per month if you have trained for more than 1 year. This is so true. A lot of people don't understand what it takes to make muscle and what kind of commitment it requires. The average 'muscle builder' more than likely will take, at the very least, protein supplements. It takes about 6-10 years of consistency to become big. 8 months in not close to enough to build a lot of muscle. It may be enough for a foundation.
kaylan Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 i've been bodybuilding for almost ten years and have competed professionally. i think i know what i'm talking about. p90x is useless bull**** packed and marketed to the clueless masses. Its far from useless and works for many people. Overpriced, yes. Useless, no. Bodybuilding is far different from the goal of p90x. P90x is more about model aesthetics instead of just getting the jacked aesthetics that most bodybuilders want. hollywood actors use steroids, hgh and insulin when they bulk up for roles. naturally you can only build about 0,5-1 lbs of lean body mass (muscle) per month if you have trained for more than 1 year. Some of them yes, but all of them, no. Again, go to muscleandstrength.com. or bodybuilding.com. Im sure youve seen profiles of people who transformed greatly in several months. You said it takes years to create a physique. This is true...but that doesnt mean the guy who OP said took 8 months to get in shape, didnt take 8 months. He could of been a sedentary person who got in pretty good looking shape and just started working out. I know when I first started working out I went from skinny with some muscle, to being pretty damn toned and rocking the model body girls like after some months. Than again it could of just been black genetics lol ...but you were right about one thing. this is besides the point. i have no interest in discussing weight training with a woman who knows absolutely nothing about it or even human physiology. Which is why I dont understand why you harped on her to begin with. You were wrong since, like I said, its quite possible to make a great physique in eight months. People make great gains in 3 months a lot of the time with good work outs and diets. But thats just the beginning of their total transformation.
kaylan Posted December 31, 2011 Posted December 31, 2011 (edited) This is so true. A lot of people don't understand what it takes to make muscle and what kind of commitment it requires. The average 'muscle builder' more than likely will take, at the very least, protein supplements. It takes about 6-10 years of consistency to become big. 8 months in not close to enough to build a lot of muscle. It may be enough for a foundation. You are missing the boat as well. Most people find the model version of "big" to be sexy. Not the bodybuilding version that takes years and years of training and muscle maturity. 8 months is more than enough, for someone to end up looking like brad pitt in fight club or Snatch, if they train hard and eat well. Or someone like cristiano ronaldo. Thats the type of body women like most and will call the guy big and ripped. Edited December 31, 2011 by kaylan
ShannonMI Posted December 31, 2011 Posted December 31, 2011 Not sure if this is the right forum for this but I just have one question: How is a man perceived if he flirts with women in a very blatant, unabashed, highly sexual way? The reason I ask is because last night I was really taken by surprise from a guy who did everything short of giving me a lap dance to get a date with me lol! He is a friend of a friend and he is ALWAYS very shy. He has been asking his cousin (a friend of mine)about me and last night while we were hanging out he pulled his shirt up and asked me to touch his fine chiseled abs and also asked me to spank him LOL!!! I have a big thing for butts, I love them! and he has super sexy muscles so I obliged him lol! He also told me that he's a good lover and will do anything to please his woman - oh the possibilities lol!! It was fun to flirt with him but it was something I've never experienced a guy doing. I gotta admit it was hot and it made me curious about sampling the wares lol!! But yet again... story of my life... he is only 24 years old . I'm done with younger men so hooking up with him is not an option (although I may introduce him to a friend or two!) BUT.. I just want to know what's the deal with a man pretty much offering his sexual talents so openly! I mean, if a woman did this she would completely be labeled a slut/ whore/ easy/ prostitute/ desperate/ whatever other bs, but it seems as though if a guy does this it's more forgivable. I mean there were some females giving me the stink eye last night! LOL! So I'm assuming that his antics worked on them or else why would they be hating right? Double Standards. They f**king SUCK!! Yeah the double standards do suck, but it is what it is. While us girls get called all sorts of horrible, demeaning names, men can be dirty man whores and it's all good. This guy sounds like a real philanderer, but totally hot. Yep, I said it. If you are into ONS's, I'd say go for him. If you are more into having a relationship, let someone else have him. He doesn't sound like he'd make good boyfriend material.
MrNate 2.0 Posted December 31, 2011 Posted December 31, 2011 Yeah the double standards do suck, but it is what it is. While us girls get called all sorts of horrible, demeaning names, men can be dirty man whores and it's all good. This guy sounds like a real philanderer, but totally hot. Yep, I said it. If you are into ONS's, I'd say go for him. If you are more into having a relationship, let someone else have him. He doesn't sound like he'd make good boyfriend material. You women need to just start doing whatever the hell you want to. Especially you, shannon.
ShannonMI Posted December 31, 2011 Posted December 31, 2011 You women need to just start doing whatever the hell you want to. Especially you, shannon. Hahahaha what do you mean by that? Sleep around? I've done enough of that in my life time. I've had LTR's as well and I prefer them over being a whore.
MrNate 2.0 Posted December 31, 2011 Posted December 31, 2011 Hahahaha what do you mean by that? Sleep around? I've done enough of that in my life time. I've had LTR's as well and I prefer them over being a whore. Well not just that , I meant just living life girl. Some of these post by women here just depress me. I feel like I'm listening to a country song, lol.
Untouchable_Fire Posted January 3, 2012 Posted January 3, 2012 Thanks for that insight Kaleidoscope! your anology to James Bond is spot on! This guy is definitely a 'James Bond' type - from what his cousin tells me he gets a lot of ladies but doesnt really sleep around too much cause he's sensitive at heart. But I'm still in shock by his behavior from last night lol! I mean, I knew he was interested in me but daaamn! He literally was grabbing my hands and making me touch him all over! I think those other females were just jealous cause he really is a fine specimen;) He does seem like he would be a lot of fun in bed but I'm moving past that and he really is too young for me. So then does this type of blatant flirting happen only with young guys? I had fantastic abs when I was 20. You get tons of attention from all kinds of women. So... since I've been there and done that... I can tell you that chances are he was trying specifically to turn you on and that his intentions are not exactly long term. Lots of guys that age have an older woman sexual fantasy. I can't say whether the other women were really jealous or not... In my experience with female friends... they are more likely laughing their butts off at you as we speak. Just as we would laugh at a lecherous old man drooling over a stripper. I find it hilarious when dirty old men actually think the strippers care about them.
Author Lil1 Posted January 4, 2012 Author Posted January 4, 2012 This guy sounds like a real philanderer, but totally hot. Yep, I said it. If you are into ONS's, I'd say go for him. If you are more into having a relationship, let someone else have him. He doesn't sound like he'd make good boyfriend material. Hey Shannon, yes he is a hottie:love: but I just want to stay away from younger men in general. It's very hard to find that intellectual compatibility you need to have, even when dealing with a FWB situation... I doubt it would just be a ONS with him IF I did pursue but that's besides the point. I've been there, done that and I'm finding that I prefer men closer to my age. They're just more mature/experienced (in general).
Author Lil1 Posted January 4, 2012 Author Posted January 4, 2012 I had fantastic abs when I was 20. You get tons of attention from all kinds of women. So... since I've been there and done that... I can tell you that chances are he was trying specifically to turn you on and that his intentions are not exactly long term. Lots of guys that age have an older woman sexual fantasy. Did you have those sexy cut lower abs? Those have always turned me on & his definitely felt nice! I know his 'intentions' are strictly sexual, that just made the whole situation that much more seductive at the time lol! I can't say whether the other women were really jealous or not... In my experience with female friends... Well those girls were acting snotty regardless but I'm pretty sure they were hating. Thing is I was just hanging out with my friend and we made a brief stop at a house party a friend of his was having and that's where we saw his cousin, so I was the only female hanging out with the dudes at the time and I'm sure the girls there were thinking I was the slut lol!!
ambigram Posted January 4, 2012 Posted January 4, 2012 OK! Enough already!... Just do him and get it over with....You know you're going to!..
Untouchable_Fire Posted January 4, 2012 Posted January 4, 2012 Did you have those sexy cut lower abs? Those have always turned me on & his definitely felt nice! I know his 'intentions' are strictly sexual, that just made the whole situation that much more seductive at the time lol! I know some guys almost naturally have those washboard abs, but for the other 99% it's incredibly difficult to get and maintain. All of the guys who I know currently have that use steroids to keep it. I went to college on a scholarship for rowing. I would be out on the water at 4am every day except Sunday for 3 hours of intense cardio. Then at lunch I would spend 1 hour weightlifting, and in the late evening I would run 6-9 miles. I did that routine for over 1 year and still did not have a 6pak. However, I had to cut down to 160lbs... when I typically weigh 180 at 7% bodyfat, and suddenly my abs show up. I have to cut down to 1000 calories a day to maintain that look. Some guys NEED lots of female attention. This is a great way to get it. I have so much going for me... I just don't need the abs. Well those girls were acting snotty regardless but I'm pretty sure they were hating. Thing is I was just hanging out with my friend and we made a brief stop at a house party a friend of his was having and that's where we saw his cousin, so I was the only female hanging out with the dudes at the time and I'm sure the girls there were thinking I was the slut lol!! Hahaha... Yup... you pretty much just nailed it. A house party is a different situation vs. a bar too. I think it gave this guy a more comfortable feeling, so that he could pursue you harder. Seriously... if you want the guy for the night... go have him. Just don't expect more.
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