NordicStripes Posted December 28, 2011 Posted December 28, 2011 He promised me he had cut all ties with the girl that he slept with after we were broken up. Today a friend of mine (a boy) told me that he would be very surprised if he hadn't actually cheated on me. I'm going crazy... I just made an e-mail address with the name of the girl he slept with, and sent him and email in her name, asking him to meet up. He promised me that if she ever contacted him again, he would just ignore her and not reply... I guess I'll know now, right? Is this really bad???
youngster Posted December 28, 2011 Posted December 28, 2011 You definitely want to fight off impulses like that. I know that you want to know that you can trust him, but setting 'traps' is NOT the way to do so. Relationships are built on trust and if you can't feel like you trust him (even enough to talk directly to him about this), then maybe you weren't ready to ge back together just yet. I don't know your history with him so I'm sure there are variables that may justify you feeling insecure. Imagine if he DOES reply. Then what? Imagine how you'll look when you tell him how you caught him.and sure, You'll know, but if you're already setting up traps, then maybe deep down inside, you already know.
geegirl Posted December 28, 2011 Posted December 28, 2011 (edited) He promised me he had cut all ties with the girl that he slept with after we were broken up. Today a friend of mine (a boy) told me that he would be very surprised if he hadn't actually cheated on me. I'm going crazy... I just made an e-mail address with the name of the girl he slept with, and sent him and email in her name, asking him to meet up. He promised me that if she ever contacted him again, he would just ignore her and not reply... I guess I'll know now, right? Is this really bad??? This is the guy that dumped you twice. The one that is lazy and unmotivated. Jumped on a troll (your word) as soon as you broke up. I can't remember the rest but not a prize to say the least. Sometimes you have to get beaten to a pulp to learn. I hope you find your lesson. Read your last thread with responses. Grasp the advice given, try to rationalize and think versus reacting emotionally. There is no point posting if none of it is resonating and making any sense to you. It's like running into a brick wall over and over again when you keep wanting to make these types of choices for yourself. Think, don't react. ps: What if he decides not to respond via email and just calls her instead? How will you know? Edited December 28, 2011 by geegirl
Author NordicStripes Posted December 28, 2011 Author Posted December 28, 2011 Hi guys! I know he's been anything but wonderful, but lately, since trying to win me over again, I really can see some changes in him! So I feel like I at least want to be certain if I decide not to give him a second chance... When it comes to that email. He was checking his emails while on the phone with me! First thing he said:' Oh no, that woman has sent me an email!' He then immediately followed by saying that she must be crazy to think he would reply and then suggested he's make a new emailadress, so she can't contact him like that anymore!!! Hooray! Also, he had deleted her number a couple of months ago, and then got a new phonenumber, so she wouldn't be able to contact him on the phone either. I know it wasn't the most proper thing of me to do, but I do feel a bit more reassured now... Happy New Year ;-)
leoc1973 Posted December 28, 2011 Posted December 28, 2011 ya ever hear that saying trust but verify. I never did and I trusted and ended up being a fool. Good for you! I don't know if I would tell him I ever did it but I hope he doesn't show up. I really hope that you have a happy ending and this guy is really all about you! Yes you are a little crazy but aren't we all!
leoc1973 Posted December 28, 2011 Posted December 28, 2011 I must have posted before you sent your last message. Awesome maybe you can trust him!! Hopefully start a new year fresh. Hey don't over do it though as far as not trusting him. You don't wanna smother him. My ex before this previous one that I did cheat on. Yes I know it was a mistake but anyways I probably would have never cheated on her again after I saw how much I hurt her. But she drove me insane. Soon as she got out of work she would head directly to the computer and my cell phone and I just couldn't take it anymore. I actually ended up with the girl I cheated on her with and had a 6 year relationship with her after that. Then she dumped me! Talk about Karma! That saying once a cheater always a cheater is not always true!
PoppyLove89 Posted December 29, 2011 Posted December 29, 2011 Now he's the one being honest with you and you're the one with the secret. I know you only did it to soothe your own worries/doubts but I'd feel really bad about it knowing he was perfectly honest and upfront about the email. He's trying from what it sounds like...and you've tricked and deceived him for your own good. Don't do it again. Good luck though and congrats on your reconciliation
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