ZimboGon Posted December 28, 2011 Posted December 28, 2011 Six weeks since the break-up in my LTR, and i'm not taking care of myself well at all nor do i have the desire to. I haven't cleaned my place since the breakup, so there is trash and clothes and food sitting around everywhere... I've grown my beard out pretty heavily, and i eat one meal at day at most. Some days i don't even eat, and i've lost around 30 pounds. I normally go out and have a good time every night, but until then i spend my days sitting in bed till about 2 or 3 blasting music, unless i have work to go to. Any tips to get my motivation back?
cerridwen Posted December 28, 2011 Posted December 28, 2011 Small step, Zimbo. Don't wait for a bolt of motivation to hit, start taking small steps to help get yourself back up. Start with the beard. Shave. Don't do anything else for the rest of the day but just start there. The scraping off of the hair, warm water on your face and hands, the cleaning of your skin, it's very purifying. Brush your teeth too. The clean taste refreshes. The day after, change your sheets. Lie back down afterward if you want, but do it on fresh ones. Third day, pick up garbage and throw it out. Pick up wrappers, banana peels, soda cans and throw it all into a bin. No need to scrub anything yet, if it feels like too much. Just focus on picking up the litter to free and show respect to your living space. Over subsequent days, follow the same pattern of doing small things for yourself. Do the dishes then nothing else. Clip your nails, then nap. Go for a coffee, then isolate if need be. The idea is to alternate between honoring your mourning process, and pushing yourself not to stay in it. It's hard to gather up a swell of motivation when we're in deep sadness. So, shoot for small steps toward regaining normalcy through everyday tasks. And post often for support. We're all happy to help.
Author ZimboGon Posted December 29, 2011 Author Posted December 29, 2011 Thanks for the support. I suppose i should shave tonight, i have been thinking about doing that lately i just never get around to it. Changing the sheets, haha. That sounds like a fantastic idea, i have been getting rather itchy lately. I can't believe i have fallen so low. I used to be such a neat freak. This site has been huge in helping me understand and get over everything. Its just the massive feeling of loneliness lately. It is always better to share a bed with someone special than to lay in it by yourself.
cerridwen Posted December 29, 2011 Posted December 29, 2011 Thanks for the support. I suppose i should shave tonight, i have been thinking about doing that lately i just never get around to it. Changing the sheets, haha. That sounds like a fantastic idea, i have been getting rather itchy lately. I can't believe i have fallen so low. I used to be such a neat freak. This site has been huge in helping me understand and get over everything. Its just the massive feeling of loneliness lately. It is always better to share a bed with someone special than to lay in it by yourself. I understand. A lot of us understand that loneliness after a breakup. And we all survived it, as will you. Be kind to yourself, okay? A nice shave, a nice shower, a good rest between clean sheets. It's the little things that begin to turn it around. It's the self-love and the holding of ourselves with compassion. Big hugs to you.
whichwayisup Posted December 29, 2011 Posted December 29, 2011 I am sorry that you're hurting and feeling lonely. C is right, and if you can take 3 to 5 minutes every day to do a quick clean up, you'll feel like you accomplished something, make a big deal of it too! And then build upon that. Try to shower every day because the positive ions in the water will make you feel a bit better and of course, feeling fresh/clean is a good thing! Call your friends and family, those who you trust and care about.. Isolating yourself is digging in the depression and it'll get worse as time goes on..
Rimer Posted December 29, 2011 Posted December 29, 2011 I am sorry that you're hurting and feeling lonely. C is right, and if you can take 3 to 5 minutes every day to do a quick clean up, you'll feel like you accomplished something, make a big deal of it too! And then build upon that. Try to shower every day because the positive ions in the water will make you feel a bit better and of course, feeling fresh/clean is a good thing! Call your friends and family, those who you trust and care about.. Isolating yourself is digging in the depression and it'll get worse as time goes on.. What if you don't have any friends and just don't feel capable of making new friends right now?
cerridwen Posted January 6, 2012 Posted January 6, 2012 What if you don't have any friends and just don't feel capable of making new friends right now? Still be a friend to yourself, Rimer, until you've built up some strength to socialize. Eat nutritious food. Take care of your hygiene. Go for walks and breath in fresh air. Take guitar classes or some other hobby you've always wanted to pursue. In short, be kind, baby, nurture yourself, then move out into the world and connect.
whichwayisup Posted January 6, 2012 Posted January 6, 2012 What if you don't have any friends and just don't feel capable of making new friends right now? What cer. said..Double that. I'm sorry you're feeling so down.. keep posting your thoughts, we're all here to help.
coopster Posted January 9, 2012 Posted January 9, 2012 sorry you`re going through what you are Zim. but cerridwen is right.... baby steps. do one thing at a time. Think...right!! i`m not going to live like this anymore, i refuse too!! tomorrow i will....... and just plan to do one or two things, small things, doesn`t have to be huge, but DO whatever it is you planned to do. And you will feel better if you do what you planned to:) look after YOU good luck
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