otherfish Posted December 28, 2011 Posted December 28, 2011 2 days before Christmas I had a 3+ year long distance relationship end. Over the 3 years we both did things to break the trust. So we had that to deal with the whole time. There was no cheating involved. She showed me many RED FLAGS over our time together but I got deeply emotionally involved early and I hung on hoping she would change. We broke up several times and even had a 4 month break from April to July of this year and eventually got back together. I noticed that after we got back together in July the intimacy stopped. That was probably the biggest of the RED FLAGS recently. She was unwilling to do the intimate things that couples do when the lights are out. I said very little to her about this but did bring it up once or twice to envoke an answer from her. She chalked it up to being tired and other things. I knew it was more than that. You can feel those things if you are paying attention. Things, for me, really went downhill the week before Christmas when we were shopping. We stopped for lunch and in attempt to initiate conversation I told her that I was unsettled about what to do for my kids for Christmas (we are somewhat estranged). I asked her opinion on the matter to which I sat in astonishment and listened to her advice of "Getting them nothing for Christmas but a card telling my daughter how upset I have been with her this year with her selfish attitude and ungreatfulness." I raised my voice and told her, "Im not doing that during Christmas." She replied, "If you give her anything you are setting a precedence that she can do what ever she wants to you and you will still give her money." I said, "Im not doing that for Christmas, she is my dau and I still love her." She said, "Do what you want then." ....the conversation kind of ended there cuz I didnt want to argue with her son being there. So, that conversation weighed heavy on my heart/head. I immediately started to pull away asking myself if having a person with these opinions in my life is right. I need a woman in my life who is supportive of my r/l with my kids, especially since they live 1000 miles away. The next day, I unusually left early from her house to travel the 100 miles back home to watch the Ravens game with my cousin. I got to my cousins and told her the story and she was furious. Monday came and I only texted her Good morning, we didnt talk all day and she made her usually Good nite call to me that evening. Tuesday, the same thing happened and Wednesday the same. At this point, I know that she was feeling something was wrong as we text 100x's a day and call each other several times. Then comes Thursday, I texted her Good Morning and I was going fishing. She texted back...Have fun, be safe, enjoy. Thursday nite came and no Good Nite call from her. There was no communication on Friday and then late Saturday evening I get the break-up text...We both know our r/l has been strained lately. Its all on me. I just cant give you what you need anymore. I think its best we go our separate ways. I dont want either of us to be unhappy for the holidays. Hope your okay. I NEVER RESPONDED. Thats where we stand. Thats how the r/l ended. I pulled away in that last week for a multitude of reasons....mostly she is a selfish, uncaring, heartless person unless you are in her circle, everyone else in dogcrap in the yard. I know that this relationship must end. It has no future. It was going to end sometime. This is not a thread to get her back...I need help with the TURN-OFF switch, I need help to not think about what she is doing, how she is feeling, what she is thinking...its torment. Is time all I need? Will I suffer for a while if I dont end this the right way? Help/advice....thanks.
blotter Posted December 29, 2011 Posted December 29, 2011 You could take this opportunity to focus more on your kids that your are somewhat estranged from. I dunno if I was a father I would make my children my top priority, not the current woman I am banging. Maybe step back from the dating game for a while, move closer to your children and spend time with them that would lead to a shut off switch from this woman.
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