TheDovic Posted December 28, 2011 Posted December 28, 2011 Hi guys, As many of you know my ex has tried mercilessly to keep in touch with me since she dumped me. She contacts me almost every day, is keen to tell me she hasn't moved on (or is even interested in doing so) and flirts with me non stop. She gets extremely upset when I speak to other girls and even showed up at my house at 2am on Boxing night. I've tried to get her back twice (in the early stages of our breakup - we're apart almost 6 months now), but since then I've really been trying to piece my life together again. I've met a lot of girls in this time, but could never imagine myself with any of them as I was too in love with my ex. However, in the past week I have met a girl who I really like and we have amazin chemistry. I'm very attracted to her physically and emotionally but am unsure if I should date her when I'm not 100% over my ex. Problem is, historically I've been obsessed with ex girlfriends until I met someone new. My question is what would you do in this situation? Give it a go with the new girl or not? thanks Dovic
Philosoraptor Posted December 28, 2011 Posted December 28, 2011 I wouldn't use another person to finish getting over someone. It is true that the last step to healing is to open your heart again, but it should be done within yourself and not due to another. I would though cut your ex off. Change your number and not make small talk with her as you are slowing your own process and it is going to hurt her. Make friends with this new girl and get to know her. Maybe you could date but do not get into anything until you are healed.
M2155 Posted December 28, 2011 Posted December 28, 2011 (edited) I agree on maybe getting to know and casually dating the new girl...just don't move fast. See how it feels. While I agree you need to get over someone first, what is your state of mind? Do you think your ex is the only one for you or are you optimistic someone better might be out there? I think that makes a big difference because you have to want to move on. This happened to me once, I was out of my relationship about 4 or 5 months and one day I met someone new and couldn't stop thinking about that person. What's funny was I was pining over my ex up until that very day (I hadn't met anyone better, he's what I knew). I had just wished someone new would come along that would get my mind off of my ex....and what do you know? I never thought about him again! Also the ex had kept some limited contact after the breakup and pushed hard after I entered the new relationship. Old news, it was so great not to want him anymore. The new guy I had met ended up being one of the best relationships I ever had. So all that to say, it depends on what you want and how much you're still affected by your ex. Just be sure you're considering it because you're really interested, not to help "forget" your ex. If you really WANT to move on, cut/limit contact with the ex and get to know the new girl. Don't make any promises or have expectations, just enjoy a night out. Good luck with your decision. Edited December 28, 2011 by M2155
Melrapuo Posted December 28, 2011 Posted December 28, 2011 I don't believe dating anyone would hurt. I would just take it very slow. You don't want to rush into anything if you feel as though you aren't for ready. Dating is a good way to gain confidence back, as well as realize that you will be able to find someone else one day. There's nothing wrong with believing in yourself. Its better than sitting alone at home pitying yourself...
Author TheDovic Posted December 28, 2011 Author Posted December 28, 2011 Thanks guys, I agree that I shouldn't use this new girl as a way to get over my ex, but I'm thinking about her so much and actually feel happy again. I'm thinking about my ex less and less the more I get to know this new girl too so maybe dating her is a good idea. In saying that I understand that I must take things extremely slowly though. I'm just glad I can see myself open to meeting new people for the first time, because a few months ago I'd never have thought that was possible! Bring on 2012
MIK1000 Posted December 28, 2011 Posted December 28, 2011 Thanks guys, I agree that I shouldn't use this new girl as a way to get over my ex, but I'm thinking about her so much and actually feel happy again. I'm thinking about my ex less and less the more I get to know this new girl too so maybe dating her is a good idea. In saying that I understand that I must take things extremely slowly though. I'm just glad I can see myself open to meeting new people for the first time, because a few months ago I'd never have thought that was possible! Bring on 2012 Go for it mate. I'm pleased for you. I mean if you are thinking about her loads then that must tell you something right? I'd love to have someone take my fancy that much right now.
Buttercup84 Posted December 29, 2011 Posted December 29, 2011 I would only date her if you really want to be with her because she is on your mind all day , she gets you excited and you can't imagine being with anyone else . If your ex is still on your mind do not do it .
stunned8165 Posted December 29, 2011 Posted December 29, 2011 I don't believe dating anyone would hurt. I would just take it very slow. You don't want to rush into anything if you feel as though you aren't for ready. Dating is a good way to gain confidence back, as well as realize that you will be able to find someone else one day. There's nothing wrong with believing in yourself. Its better than sitting alone at home pitying yourself... I agree here. .. I have been dating a little. It's a very hard step to take to move forward. But it must be done with all the other steps. I found it difficult and almost dreading it. But even feeling all discombobulated while ON the date, in the end, I felt ok. ........ . Of coarse anyone I have dated knew right up front that I'm 7 months out of a brutal break up and I'm not looking to rush into anything. And I'm not. Does this girl know your situation?.. If so, and you have been totally honest with her, and still willing to give you attention.. then heck, go for it. It could be just what the Doctor ordered!
TearyEyedPride Posted December 29, 2011 Posted December 29, 2011 As everyone else said... make sure to take it slow and don't rush it. But yeah! Go for it. You owe it to yourself to enjoy yourself. Just be honest about your feelings.
perfectlyflawed459 Posted December 29, 2011 Posted December 29, 2011 Hi guys, As many of you know my ex has tried mercilessly to keep in touch with me since she dumped me. She contacts me almost every day, is keen to tell me she hasn't moved on (or is even interested in doing so) and flirts with me non stop. She gets extremely upset when I speak to other girls and even showed up at my house at 2am on Boxing night. I've tried to get her back twice (in the early stages of our breakup - we're apart almost 6 months now), but since then I've really been trying to piece my life together again. I've met a lot of girls in this time, but could never imagine myself with any of them as I was too in love with my ex. However, in the past week I have met a girl who I really like and we have amazin chemistry. I'm very attracted to her physically and emotionally but am unsure if I should date her when I'm not 100% over my ex. Problem is, historically I've been obsessed with ex girlfriends until I met someone new. My question is what would you do in this situation? Give it a go with the new girl or not? thanks Dovic You are a great guy. You deserve to be happy again and from what it seems, this new girl makes you happy. I do not think it could hurt to date other people, but like everyone is saying, make sure you are very ready to do so. Perhaps take things slow with the new girl. What is the rush?
Marianis Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 I just want to say im really happy for you that you are moving on ... great things happen to great people .. so good luck and start new year´s off on the right foot!
Author TheDovic Posted December 30, 2011 Author Posted December 30, 2011 Wow, Forgot how great the people on this site are!!! Thanks so much guys, I'll take it slow. Ps, love u Marianis x
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