cha0sman Posted May 31, 2004 Posted May 31, 2004 Hello, I really appreciate this board. I really dont know what to do. My gf and i just broke up last night, well i guess i should say ex now. I am really heart broken. And I am never going to drink alcohol in my life again. It all happened after her father's wedding, we went back to another house for an after party type of deal. And I bought a 6 pack, now, I am not a heavy drinker i drink maybe once every 6 months? Naturally I have a low tollerance. So we are chilling, and im drinking, my ex is really stressed out from the wedding, due to all the work she had to do, tension from the family, etc. While i was drunk i tried cheering her up, I would occasionally give her kisses and like to make her laugh i would like put my tounge in her mouth, she told me to stop. I thought she was kidding around, so i kept doing it. She turned really cold on me, and at the time i couldnt understand why. So her ex, that she is friends with keeps calling her, and apparently they are friends again. This made me a little nervous because people i didnt know instant messaged me telling me to watch out for them two. So fast foward to yesterday when i left, we were kissing good bye, and me being so stupid asked her if there was anything going on between her and her ex. She got fumed, saying that i cant believe you would even ask something like that. No, im not, and nice way of showing her my trust and love for her. So i left, and i came home a couple hours later i talked to her online, and she broke up with me. She told me that we can talk but thats it. So I asked her when should i pick up my stuff, and she said, if your going to act like that then i will just mail everything. so i told her no, no. i told her i was sorry and she was me too and then signed off. I took that me too as a bad thing, so i called her and asked what she ment etc. shes like no i am really sorry i am hurting you. so we talked for a little, and i asked her do you think you will ever have feelings for me again, she told me that she hasnt lost them, she just cant deal with the stuff i have been pulling. so i asked her if she could think about getting back with me, and she said that she would....i dont know she didnt sound like she was humoring me. all i know is i am hurting so bad right now. Any suggestions would be much appreciated. Thank you.
Velveteel Posted June 1, 2004 Posted June 1, 2004 It sounds like you might have a rival. Maybe she broke up with you to see if things can develop again between her and the ex. Or maybe she was fed up with your behavior--on that night or at other times. Whatever it is, if you want to reconnect with her, you've got to control yourself now. Control your impulses to call her or email her or drop by her place or her work. Control your anger and sadness, too, and don't beg or plead at all. I think that when you pick up your things, or in an email, tell her that you're sorry things have come to this point, that you love her, but if she really wants to let you go, you'll have to accept that. Say goodbye and BACK WAY OFF. Don't try to be friends right away. Don't try to talk with her. No contact is the best route. You can read more about that on this board. At best, she'll miss you terribly and start pursuing you again. Play it a little bit cool if she does, until you know that she's yours again. But even if she doesn't, take this time apart to think about your role in the break-up, and try to learn from it if you can. Treat yourself gently, and do something you've been wanting or meaning to do--working out, or taking a trip somewhere. Whatever happens with the ex, you'll be happier with yourself. Good luck.
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