cdm369 Posted December 28, 2011 Posted December 28, 2011 Why is it that so many people actively flirt while in a relationship? I see it all the time. Always viewed that as being dangerous as well as disrespectful to your partner. After all,flirting is the way we go about attracting a partner. I don't get it I guess. Friend of mine said...if she's like this when im around how is she when im not around? I dont flirt with others when in a relationship or if they are. Just like some perspective on flirting.
Philosoraptor Posted December 28, 2011 Posted December 28, 2011 While I agree that intentionally flirting while in a relationship is wrong, I know that some people are just natural flirts. I joke, smile, and wink a lot in normal conversations. Many could interpret it as flirting but I'm just goofy. Everyone interprets flirting in different ways. You should not intentionally flirt with someone to get a reaction in my opinion. Others might be more ok with that and that is fine too. It comes down to your own personal boundaries and your expectations from a relationship.
YaOldBuckaroo Posted December 28, 2011 Posted December 28, 2011 Why is it that so many people actively flirt while in a relationship? I see it all the time. Always viewed that as being dangerous as well as disrespectful to your partner. After all,flirting is the way we go about attracting a partner. I don't get it I guess. Friend of mine said...if she's like this when im around how is she when im not around? I dont flirt with others when in a relationship or if they are. Just like some perspective on flirting. It's human nature to do so. Some people are just like that, some aren't. There are even those that flirt and aren't fully aware of what they're doing. Max
zengirl Posted December 28, 2011 Posted December 28, 2011 Depends on what you mean by "flirting." I consider flirting to be truly seeking a certain kind of attention from the opposite sex (or same sex if you swing that way or both ways), but how do you really define it? I know when I'm flirting, but I'm sure someone thinks some basic friendliness of mine is flirtatious, even when I don't intend it to be. I mean, some things are obvious, but there are a lot of gray areas. I've had guys think I was into them just because I had a conversation with them -- people take away totally different impressions from basic social interactions.
lululucy Posted December 28, 2011 Posted December 28, 2011 Intention has a lot to do with it. If you're flirting for attention or in a really sexually suggestive way, I would agree that that's inappropriate. But I, like some of the other posts, am a natural flirt and while sometimes it's purposeful, it's usually something I don't even notice I'm doing. I do it with both genders and have for years, but working as a waitress and barista have definitely brought out that quality more; it really affects the amount of tips I get.
jobaba Posted December 28, 2011 Posted December 28, 2011 Why is it that so many people actively flirt while in a relationship? I see it all the time. Always viewed that as being dangerous as well as disrespectful to your partner. After all,flirting is the way we go about attracting a partner. I don't get it I guess. Friend of mine said...if she's like this when im around how is she when im not around? I dont flirt with others when in a relationship or if they are. Just like some perspective on flirting. I can't tell if you're a man or a woman. But as a man, I can honestly say, my male friends do it to keep their game sharp. I know guys that are married with kids who approach women in bars without any hope or intent just to keep their game sharp. Why? Because you never know when you might be single again and women are tough...
Philosoraptor Posted December 28, 2011 Posted December 28, 2011 To keep sharp? Really? To me that is like planning to fail. If said effort was put into the relationship it could be better (even better if it was good). Maybe I'm an old school guy in a young body but there is no need to keep any of those abilities sharp if you are happy.
KathyM Posted December 28, 2011 Posted December 28, 2011 You do have to be wary of people who can't seem to contain themselves when in a relationship, and don't feel the need to squelch their urges to continue to attract others. Flirters who continue to flirt with others while in a relationship have boundary issues that should be a red flag to a partner, since it shows they are not satisfied with the attention of just one person. I know a woman who was always a big flirt, and nearly broke up her LTR because she always had this urge to flirt with other men, and she nearly broke up other marriages as well. Serious red flag, because it shows that the person is seeking attention from others and is not satisfied with the attention from a SO.
EasyHeart Posted December 28, 2011 Posted December 28, 2011 I agree that people have different views on basic human interaction and that the key issue is a person's intent. I get accused of "flirting" when I'm just talking to people. What matters is a person's intent: are they trying to get a date or have sex with the other person?
Author cdm369 Posted December 28, 2011 Author Posted December 28, 2011 To keep sharp? Really? To me that is like planning to fail. If said effort was put into the relationship it could be better (even better if it was good). Maybe I'm an old school guy in a young body but there is no need to keep any of those abilities sharp if you are happy. Really have to agree with this. If im happy and satisfied with my partner I should focus on that. Also really feel its disrespectful to flirt and it opens the door to possibilities. Why put yourself in a bad position and your SO in that spot.
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