PoppyLove89 Posted December 28, 2011 Posted December 28, 2011 So it's obvious my ex still has feelings for me, despite the fact that he won't admit it. He spent the majority of last night circling the club on his own, breaking away from his friends, finding me...making eye contact and walking off (as though it were a coincidence). Yes, if it happened once, it could have been but he did this about 4/5 times, if not more! Almost like he couldn't help wanting to see what I was up to, who I was with and trying to get a reaction. When I was dancing with my gay best-friend, who looks straight, he kept staring and as he walked past I said "hi" once, he replied "go back to dancing with your friend"...I said, "what?" and he goes "go back to dancing with your f***ing friend!" - jealousy button, hit. My gut instinct is telling me, it's not the last I've seen/heard of him but I think it's going to be me having doubts about getting back together now despite the fact that when we split two months ago, I would have given anything for a second chance. Having seen him turn into this cruel, cold-hearted, ignorant and immature boy (he'll be 24 in February) even our memories don't make me feel all fuzzy inside, they don't make me miss him anymore because I feel that person from two months ago has died. I'm beginning to see him in his true light and I'm not drawn to him anymore. I meanwhile can hold my head high, say I was willing to give it everything, accepted the break-up and have behaved with nothing other than politeness and respect whenever I've seen him since. We haven't text each other in a month and a half. I know he'd be expecting me to text him and the fact that I haven't may have caused him to play these mind-games when he sees me out - trying to get the last emotional punch in to hurt me.
wilsonx Posted December 28, 2011 Posted December 28, 2011 hate to tell you darling, you are playing mind games with yourself. Its your ego telling you all these things in self defense to protect you from being hurt
Author PoppyLove89 Posted December 28, 2011 Author Posted December 28, 2011 I'm not saying I'm over him because I'm miles from it, I still love him for who he was and despite my better judgement if it ever came down to it, I'd be there for him if he ever truly needed me but the way he's been acting towards me has made me question everything. Why should I hurt over someone who doesn't seem to have been hurting at all? How can you go from loving someone to hating them to the point of going out of your way to hurt them? I wouldn't even do that to my worst enemy.
wilsonx Posted December 28, 2011 Posted December 28, 2011 The fact is and you are not going to see this for a long time but here's wilson's ulimate truth "You are your own worst enemy" You are using your pain that you think he caused you, to paint him black, and think that hes doing things to hurt you. This is something you dont see, because you dont have space for yourself to learn and grow.
Author PoppyLove89 Posted December 28, 2011 Author Posted December 28, 2011 Yeah I get what you're saying, don't worry. Truth and Time tell all.
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