Male virgin = Seeing an escort??

January 6, 2012

Some people actually value themselves and value others more than they value getting off on some used recepticle. I admire someone, like your uncle's stepson, who has character and doesn't want to lower himself to do something destructive or beneath him. Not wanting someone to do something destructive is caring. (And you don't know who is STD free and who is not, btw. Just because tests showed that a hooker at some point in testing did not have detectable signs of infection doesn't mean that she wasn't recently infected. Some STDS cannot be detected for six months after infection, even though they can certainly be transmitted during that time.)

Are you going to sleep with him then? Would you even go out on a date with him? No, you would not. So why should I, my step cousin, Thahooligan, Ross, or any man care what women who would not date us or sleep with us think about our sexual morals?

Even if as high a number of escorts have STD's like you claim (they don't), I think I speak for most men when I say, I'd rather have gonorhea than die a virgin . And you know what, I think even you would rather have an STD than die a virgin.

A man who has character, standards and self control has a lot more value to a woman than someone without, and that character will matter to a lot of women.[/Quote]

Even though I'm going through a massive dry spell, and I havent actually successfully contracted a hooker yet, if I did have sex with a prostitute I would still be more attractive than my cousin Albert who women patronize for refusing to do what's logical.

There are even guys you would think are hot who have been to hookers, simply because dating/sleeping with regular women can be a hassle even for the famous and attractive guys.

This is what happens when you have a whole generation suffering from a 60% divorce rate and being raised only by their mothers. Women don't give a crap what their future husband might think when they whore it up in Cancun or have 5 abortions by their mid 20's, so why should men give a crap what you think when they choose to hire the services of a sexual healer as a last resort?

Edited January 6, 2012 by Wolf18

January 6, 2012

I'm not keen on the fact that you talk about people lowering themselves if they sleep with a hooker as though it's a 'fact'.

It is just your opinion.

Personally IMO, I think dying a virgin is more de-valuing than sleeping with a hooker. I'd have a lot more respect for a guy in his situation, if he slept with a hooker, than him thinking that he's 'above that' and ends up dying a virgin. The latter just seems sad.

But what matters when it comes down to it, is how 'he' feels about it.

Everybody lives by their own moral compass. I guess a person has to ask himself what he values to determine his actions.

January 6, 2012

A man who has character, standards and self control has a lot more value to a woman than someone without, and that character will matter to a lot of women.

Totally disagree with the character part. A lot of women don't have character themselves, defined as being non-shallow, altruistic, and humble.

So why would they want that in a partner?

January 6, 2012

Everybody lives by their own moral compass.

Exactly.

OP, the moral (hah) of this whole story is that only you can decide what is right for you.

January 6, 2012

I have a guy in my family (my uncles stepson) who is a 30 year old virgin. He was born premature so he his face is disfigured and he has a whole myriad of social problems. Me and a few other guys in the family asked him if he wanted to lose it to an escort on his birthday, he got offended like a typical prissy mommas boy. He's probably never going to have a relationship, but instead of facing up to that and finding a solution he chooses to live in a world of fantasy.

That's f@cked up man. Has he tried at all with women?

How badly is his face disfigured?

January 6, 2012

That's f@cked up man. Has he tried at all with women?

How badly is his face disfigured?

He's had dozens of plastic surgeries and doesn't look as bad as he used to , but he still doesn't look "normal".

He's a brilliant guy (albeit with many social problems that I doubt are going to go anywhere at 30) and has indeed tried with women but predictably he gets shot down/friended. I'm not expecting them to date him or sleep with him, but why the hell do women have to shame guys who want to experience sex atleast once in their life but never will without prostitutes? His mommy would be disappointed and feel its immoral, despite the fact that this beacon of morality has been divorced 3 times

Men have to stop deferring to women, and do what we think is right. For thousands of years, in virtually all civilizations across the globe, we were at the helm making all the rules because it was assumed that we knew better. Yet today it's the other way around, and men are up the creek sans paddle because of it

Go ahead, take Kathy's advice, save your 30 year old virginity for the right girl, who will probably have had sex with 9-10 different men by that age (at the least) and may even dump you after learning you're a virgin, or get some experience (and pleasure) with hookers and have it never be an issue.

Edited January 6, 2012 by Wolf18

January 6, 2012

He's had dozens of plastic surgeries and doesn't look as bad as he used to , but he still doesn't look "normal".

He's a brilliant guy (albeit with many social problems that I doubt are going to go anywhere at 30) and has indeed tried with women but predictably he gets shot down/friended. I'm not expecting them to date him or sleep with him, but why the hell do women have to shame guys who want to experience sex atleast once in their life but never will without prostitutes? His mommy would be disappointed and feel its immoral, despite the fact that this beacon of morality has been divorced 3 times

Men have to stop deferring to women, and do what we think is right. For thousands of years, in virtually all civilizations across the globe, we were at the helm making all the rules because it was assumed that we knew better. Yet today it's the other way around, and men are up the creek sans paddle because of it

Go ahead, take Kathy's advice, save your 30 year old virginity for the right girl, who will probably have had sex with 9-10 different men by that age (at the least) and may even dump you after learning you're a virgin, or get some experience (and pleasure) with hookers and have it never be an issue.

I totally couldn't agree more mate.

January 6, 2012

^ Female hypergamy causes them to completely lack any substantial empathy for the underdog. The real reasons women hate a legalized prostitution is because they fear their husbands will stray via this (which I sympathize with them about and think married men should be punished for sleeping with hookers if caught), or because they feel it destroys their power over men if we can have sex with a girl that looks exactly like them no questions asked for 150 bucks.

January 6, 2012

^ Female hypergamy causes them to completely lack any substantial empathy for the underdog. The real reasons women hate a legalized prostitution is because they fear their husbands will stray via this (which I sympathize with them about and think married men should be punished for sleeping with hookers if caught), or because they feel it destroys their power over men if we can have sex with a girl that looks exactly like them no questions asked for 150 bucks.

Controversially I think this is true, I don't feel that they truly understand why a man in a similar position would resort to this. I doubt they ever will.

But then, do we, as men, really truly understand why women do certain things? I doubt it. My father always says to me "Son, you will never understand a woman, don't give yourself brain damage trying to"

January 7, 2012

Well, you men disappoint me. You allow yourselves to be ruled by your penis, and you don't think with your head or your heart. You value a 1/2 hour meaningless session with someone who is repulsed by you, more than you value honesty, integrity, or concern for others. So I give up. As long as you aspire to be nothing more than a dickhead, and nothing better than that, then I am wasting my breath.

January 7, 2012

Well, you men disappoint me. You allow yourselves to be ruled by your penis, and you don't think with your head or your heart. You value a 1/2 hour meaningless session with someone who is repulsed by you, more than you value honesty, integrity, or concern for others. So I give up. As long as you aspire to be nothing more than a dickhead, and nothing better than that, then I am wasting my breath.

I don't think you truly understand to be honest. I don't think someone is a dickhead if they see an escort. Doesn't necessarily mean I want to do it (I'm personally neutral on the idea, but am leaning towards not doing it), but I would not judge someone if they felt that they had no other chance to have any kind of sex unless they paid for it. Now, you will probably say "it's not about sex", but in a sense, yes it is. It is obviously going to be better in a committed relationship with a woman who adores you, but you don't seem to grasp that for some men, they may not ever get that in their lives.

All the "character and integrity" is NOT going to get you the woman. It just doesn't work that way. As a man, you absolutely HAVE to learn how to be attractive and how to have good enough social skills. For those who find these things difficult to learn, they will take longer to attain those skills, and in the mean time, they will be far behind the women they wish to date, and those women will not have any empathy for them (not in my experience anyway). So they will not get dates, and they will have to live a life without women, a life they do not want.

The solution would be to rid oneself of their sex drive (chemical castration), and nobody wants that. I understand where you are coming from, I really do, but I also understand the position of a man who is desperate for intimacy, lonely and (dare I say) extremely sexually frustrated. It's not the worst thing in the world, but it's difficult to deal with unless you are super religious, and most of us aren't.

I'm not about to see an escort because I'm not desperate, but I am a different man, and I don't feel I need to do this to gain intimacy. A lot of guys do not think like me, they may not see themselves improving, and the only way they can experience even anything like intimacy would be seeing an escort, no matter how degrading one might think it is, it would be their only choice.

What would you suggest? How does one go about making himself attractive to women, enough to not feel the need to see an escort???

January 7, 2012

So St. Kathy of Loveshack , would you like to die a virgin? Never answered that. I will answer it for you, no you would not. You will never be in that situation, yet feel like you have the right to condemn and judge men who must deal with that choice.

All you do is press "Play" on your talkboy http://www.dustygizmos.com/images/Widgetweek/talkboy.jpg with the same old "BUT WHAT ABOUT THE MORALS/FEELINGS OF JUDGEMENTAL WOMEN"

January 7, 2012

I don't think you truly understand to be honest. I don't think someone is a dickhead if they see an escort. Doesn't necessarily mean I want to do it (I'm personally neutral on the idea, but am leaning towards not doing it), but I would not judge someone if they felt that they had no other chance to have any kind of sex unless they paid for it. Now, you will probably say "it's not about sex", but in a sense, yes it is. It is obviously going to be better in a committed relationship with a woman who adores you, but you don't seem to grasp that for some men, they may not ever get that in their lives.

All the "character and integrity" is NOT going to get you the woman. It just doesn't work that way. As a man, you absolutely HAVE to learn how to be attractive and how to have good enough social skills. For those who find these things difficult to learn, they will take longer to attain those skills, and in the mean time, they will be far behind the women they wish to date, and those women will not have any empathy for them (not in my experience anyway). So they will not get dates, and they will have to live a life without women, a life they do not want.

The solution would be to rid oneself of their sex drive (chemical castration), and nobody wants that. I understand where you are coming from, I really do, but I also understand the position of a man who is desperate for intimacy, lonely and (dare I say) extremely sexually frustrated. It's not the worst thing in the world, but it's difficult to deal with unless you are super religious, and most of us aren't.

I'm not about to see an escort because I'm not desperate, but I am a different man, and I don't feel I need to do this to gain intimacy. A lot of guys do not think like me, they may not see themselves improving, and the only way they can experience even anything like intimacy would be seeing an escort, no matter how degrading one might think it is, it would be their only choice.

What would you suggest? How does one go about making himself attractive to women, enough to not feel the need to see an escort???

You know, there are women in the same situation as these men. Women with social anxiety disorder, women who have a hard time attracting a man. Women who would love to have someone who cared about them, even if that guy has these various issues he's dealing with. I know people from all walks of life and who are dealing with all kinds of disabilities that are not resorting to criminal behavior or degrading behavior, or destructive behavior, and they have either found a mate, or they are living their lives with a focus on living with character and integrity, and not focusing on what they don't have in their life. Women who do have character and integrity, and even those who don't, would not be interested in a man who would resort to such behavior. So what I'm saying is that the negatives outweigh the positives. I'm suggesting a man consider aspiring to something greater, and have standards for himself, and work towards getting what will actually improve his life, and not degrade it. And not take action that is destructive to the prostitute's life either. They are contributing to her destructive lifestyle. They're enabling her destructive lifestyle.

January 7, 2012

So St. Kathy of Loveshack , would you like to die a virgin? Never answered that. I will answer it for you, no you would not. You will never be in that situation, yet feel like you have the right to condemn and judge men who must deal with that choice.

All you do is press "Play" on your talkboy http://www.dustygizmos.com/images/Widgetweek/talkboy.jpg with the same old "BUT WHAT ABOUT THE MORALS/FEELINGS OF JUDGEMENTAL WOMEN"

I'm encouraging them to consider the negative consequences, and encouraging them to aspire to a higher character, and encouraging them to live a life that shows some consideration for the well being of others. I'd rather die a virgin with integrity, than a non-virgin without. Does that answer your question?

January 7, 2012

You know, there are women in the same situation as these men. Women with social anxiety disorder, women who have a hard time attracting a man. Women who would love to have someone who cared about them, even if that guy has these various issues he's dealing with. I know people from all walks of life and who are dealing with all kinds of disabilities that are not resorting to criminal behavior or degrading behavior, or destructive behavior, and they have either found a mate, or they are living their lives with a focus on living with character and integrity, and not focusing on what they don't have in their life. Women who do have character and integrity, and even those who don't, would not be interested in a man who would resort to such behavior. So what I'm saying is that the negatives outweigh the positives. I'm suggesting a man consider aspiring to something greater, and have standards for himself, and work towards getting what will actually improve his life, and not degrade it. And not take action that is destructive to the prostitute's life either. They are contributing to her destructive lifestyle. They're enabling her destructive lifestyle.

I don't necessarily disagree with you, you do make points that echo with what I personally believe, but I am saying, not everybody is going to choose to be like that, no matter how much we may try to force it down their throats. So I don't do that. I think that one should aspire to be great in all senses, but some people just do not see the world like that. And I don't think that it is as black and white as you say it is. But hey, I do appreciate where you are coming from. I am surprised that you take this so strongly though. I assume you are an avid christian? My mother is the same. I'm not religious though....

And yes, there are women who do have these same problems, I have not discounted them at any point in what I am saying. I know people from many walks of life who deal with things differently. I just don't personally see why seeing an escort is such a problem. You are probably looking at it from the POV of street walkers and such, who are trafficked and have pimps etc. In London, there are many independent escorts who are tested, and I have met one also (at a gig, not went to see one ). She explained that she enjoys her job, has broken in many male virgins, and she regularly keeps in contact with them. It did not persuade me to see an escort, but I feel that there should be something like a sex surrogacy in place for men (and women) such as these, who are perhaps suffering from some kind of sexual dysfunction due to their social problems. People deal with things differently.

I choose not to judge though. But generally, I think you are overestimating women these days, they will not put up with a virgin man, unless that man knows how to be attractive somehow.

January 7, 2012

KathyM, I'm just curious what your views are on homosexuality?

January 7, 2012

KathyM, I'm just curious what your views are on homosexuality?

Don't derail the thread, dear boy. You know what they are.

January 7, 2012

Don't derail the thread, dear boy. You know what they are.

Actually, I don't. That's why I asked.

I think the fact that you haven't answered speaks for itself.

January 7, 2012

Ha, if kathyM's views on homosexuality are what you imply they are , then ironically I'm with her on that too. I probably agree with 99% of her views. Just not this one.

I got to say however, atleast she's consistent in her conservative views, I respect that. How many feminazis support things like no fault divorce, gay sex, late term abortion, and yet bully some sorry, horny sap that commits the horrible moral crime of wanting to touch a girl before he dies.

January 8, 2012

Don't derail the thread, dear boy.

This sort of thing comes off as very belittling and immature, just fyi.

January 8, 2012

This sort of thing comes off as very belittling and immature, just fyi.

Not really. It wasn't intended to be. I actually call my husband dear boy sometimes, as well as my three sons, who are college aged guys. They don't seem to mind. Don't read anything into it.

January 8, 2012

Actually, I don't. That's why I asked.

I think the fact that you haven't answered speaks for itself.

I've stated my views on gay marriage on this mb before. You know that. If you'd like to discuss that issue, you should start a thread. This thread, started by the OP, is about the pros and cons of going to a prostitute. I just don't wish to derail the thread. That's all.

January 8, 2012

You know, there are women in the same situation as these men. Women with social anxiety disorder, women who have a hard time attracting a man. Women who would love to have someone who cared about them, even if that guy has these various issues he's dealing with. I know people from all walks of life and who are dealing with all kinds of disabilities that are not resorting to criminal behavior or degrading behavior, or destructive behavior, and they have either found a mate, or they are living their lives with a focus on living with character and integrity, and not focusing on what they don't have in their life. Women who do have character and integrity, and even those who don't, would not be interested in a man who would resort to such behavior. So what I'm saying is that the negatives outweigh the positives. I'm suggesting a man consider aspiring to something greater, and have standards for himself, and work towards getting what will actually improve his life, and not degrade it. And not take action that is destructive to the prostitute's life either. They are contributing to her destructive lifestyle. They're enabling her destructive lifestyle.

I agree with this, too.

It sickens me the way men will cheer each other on, places online at least, and privately, if not openly, to save up and go to certain places, like vegas, thailand, etc... and use these women. It's demeaning, and reducing a woman's worth to her body. Pump, pay and dump.

January 8, 2012

LOL at this thread.

The only thing I have to add is that females here would be SHOCKED at how many good looking, handsome suave dudes who generally don't have too much trouble getting women go to 'massage' parlors to 'let out a little steam'. It's not just the guys who can't get laid.

That's right ladies. There's a good chance your perfect little boyfriend has. And don't think he'll EVER admit it.

Don't ask how I know...

I would believe that, unfortunately. I thought one guy was great, until he went to thailand, and slept with two hookers.

January 8, 2012

I've stated my views on gay marriage on this mb before. You know that. If you'd like to discuss that issue, you should start a thread. This thread, started by the OP, is about the pros and cons of going to a prostitute. I just don't wish to derail the thread. That's all.

I don't know that actually.

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