Ross MwcFan Posted December 31, 2011 Posted December 31, 2011 I'm giving my opinion, and I know it's an opinion. But my motives are good. I'm trying to encourage you to value yourself, and not resort to things that you will later regret, or that your future gf or wife will regret. And I'm encouraging you to not do something that contributes to a woman's destructive lifestyle. That's all. I have a degree in legal advocacy for abused women and children. It's in my nature to speak out against this kind of destructive stuff. Maybe I do value myself, I don't know. Fact is, is that now, I don't actually want to **** a ho, not because I feel it's 'demeaning', or that it should be 'special' or whatever. It's just because the idea has no appeal to me any more. It just feels like it'd feel totally clinical, awkward, and wouldn't really do anything for me. Although I'm totally aware that not all guys will feel this way about it.
Ross MwcFan Posted December 31, 2011 Posted December 31, 2011 Sex with a hooker is not about fun, it's only about money. It's a business transaction, devoid of feelings. Most likely pays for her crack habit. So it's not possible for any dude to find it fun? I seriously doubt that.
KathyM Posted December 31, 2011 Posted December 31, 2011 It's also highly likely that a woman would end things if she found out he was a virgin too. Damned if you do..... Not really. If a woman had feelings for a guy, she'd most likely be understanding that he just didn't meet the right woman yet, and be willing to be patient with him. From what I've read, most men are not good at sex, so there's not likely some big disparity between a guy with little to no experience, and a guy that is more experienced.
KathyM Posted December 31, 2011 Posted December 31, 2011 I'm not sure about that, especially if I explained my situation to her, as to why I went with a hooker. ****ing sounds a lot better than making love anyway. Making love has always come across as lame and boring to me. So you want to take love out of the equation, and make it just a physical act, and somehow that appeals to you more than demonstrating your love for someone through sex? Hmm. You have some strange ideas there. Making love can involve not only exciting, passionate, mind blowing sex, but also an emotional connection with someone you have real feelings for. If anything, having sex with someone who is so mechanical as a prostitute would be, and who has no feelings for you whatsoever, would be the boring and lame thing.
Author ThaWholigan Posted December 31, 2011 Author Posted December 31, 2011 Not really. If a woman had feelings for a guy, she'd most likely be understanding that he just didn't meet the right woman yet, and be willing to be patient with him. From what I've read, most men are not good at sex, so there's not likely some big disparity between a guy with little to no experience, and a guy that is more experienced. It hasn't been the experience of many men I have spoken to online and offline. For the ones who didn't lose it early, it was very difficult for them to get any woman to understand. Obviously there are things to learn in order to be attractive enough that it does not matter, but men are not really properly educated on how to do that, and I believe a size-able portion of the advice that women give sometimes can be counter-productive even though well-meaning.
KathyM Posted December 31, 2011 Posted December 31, 2011 Maybe I do value myself, I don't know. Fact is, is that now, I don't actually want to **** a ho, not because I feel it's 'demeaning', or that it should be 'special' or whatever. It's just because the idea has no appeal to me any more. It just feels like it'd feel totally clinical, awkward, and wouldn't really do anything for me. Although I'm totally aware that not all guys will feel this way about it. Thank you. Your self worth and your character are far more important than getting off on some skank. All it will do, really, is just part you from your money, and feed a bad habit and lifestyle for the prostitute. And you are right that it would feel clinical and empty. That is what I was told by a man who did go to one, and regretted it. After parting with his money, he left feeling unfulfilled and bad about himself.
kaylan Posted December 31, 2011 Posted December 31, 2011 Not really. If a woman had feelings for a guy, she'd most likely be understanding that he just didn't meet the right woman yet, and be willing to be patient with him. From what I've read, most men are not good at sex, so there's not likely some big disparity between a guy with little to no experience, and a guy that is more experienced. Untrue. Although I could say the same about women. All in all, I think empathy is what makes someone better at sex. That and knowing how to lose oneself in the moment.
KathyM Posted December 31, 2011 Posted December 31, 2011 It hasn't been the experience of many men I have spoken to online and offline. For the ones who didn't lose it early, it was very difficult for them to get any woman to understand. Obviously there are things to learn in order to be attractive enough that it does not matter, but men are not really properly educated on how to do that, and I believe a size-able portion of the advice that women give sometimes can be counter-productive even though well-meaning. There's been women posting on LS that have said their SO had little to no experience when they started dating the guy. They didn't see that as a negative at all, and were more than willing to be patient with him. I know women personally, several of them, who would not hold a man's sexual inexperience against him. But they would hold it against him if he had been to a prostitute, since that demonstrates low character.
KathyM Posted December 31, 2011 Posted December 31, 2011 Untrue. Although I could say the same about women. All in all, I think empathy is what makes someone better at sex. That and knowing how to lose oneself in the moment. Well, I'm sure men like to think they're these all fulfilling stud muffins who make women scream with passion, but, from what I've read, most men are not that good at it--they only think they are. In any case, I have to run. Have a nice evening.
Author ThaWholigan Posted December 31, 2011 Author Posted December 31, 2011 There's been women posting on LS that have said their SO had little to no experience when they started dating the guy. They didn't see that as a negative at all, and were more than willing to be patient with him. I know women personally, several of them, who would not hold a man's sexual inexperience against him. But they would hold it against him if he had been to a prostitute, since that demonstrates low character. Well, I can tell you that this isn't very common in my experience as well as many others. It is just as looked down upon as seeing a prostitute. There are other factors involved of course, but the fact is being a virgin just happens to be a symptom of those factors, and fixing them will still not guarantee you a relationship with a woman, because she will still assume that because you are a virgin, you're not worth much cop to them. It will get better for me, I'm improving certain aspects of my character so I will hopefully offset this soon enough....
jobaba Posted December 31, 2011 Posted December 31, 2011 Not really. If a woman had feelings for a guy, she'd most likely be understanding that he just didn't meet the right woman yet, and be willing to be patient with him. From what I've read, most men are not good at sex, so there's not likely some big disparity between a guy with little to no experience, and a guy that is more experienced. Jobaba during his first time would disagree with you... Some monologue from the unfortunate woman. "Ow." "Ouch." "Owww." Then, later on, after I had a few more times of 'experience'... "Ow. That hurts. You're such a lousy lover."
mammamia1 Posted December 31, 2011 Posted December 31, 2011 I'm a girl and I would (in fact, did) turn down guys due to their sexual inexperience. I used to have sex with someone who was a 30 year old virgin (or near virgin), it was so bad and awkward that I still feel awful every time I think back. He was a computer nerd, watched porn, did the xxx talk very well, but I guess when it comes to sex, u can only learn from experiences.
Author ThaWholigan Posted December 31, 2011 Author Posted December 31, 2011 I'm a girl and I would (in fact, did) turn down guys due to their sexual inexperience. I used to have sex with someone who was a 30 year old virgin (or near virgin), it was so bad and awkward that I still feel awful every time I think back. He was a computer nerd, watched porn, did the xxx talk very well, but I guess when it comes to sex, u can only learn from experiences. You're not alone, there are plenty of girls who do this . It's not your fault IMO, that's just something we need to improve upon. I don't suppose you (being a girl who would reject a man of inexperience), have any advice or encouragement to offer?? lol
mammamia1 Posted December 31, 2011 Posted December 31, 2011 Okie dokie, more advice... - It's not your fault IMO, that's just something we need to improve upon... So what do I do? - U may read or watch a lot of porn, but it's better to get real experience. It's like learning hockey - sure u can get tons of books or watch vids, but that doesn't change the fact that u can't play. Have sex with more women, or have more sex with one woman - Well I can't seem to find one woman - Expand ur range. U used to aim for young girls/ model type. Older/heavier women can be amazing too - I did, and still can't find anyone - Then improve urself. For example, washboard abs = chick magnet, regardless of how much $ u have or what's ur job. Just work on urself one way or another
Author ThaWholigan Posted December 31, 2011 Author Posted December 31, 2011 (edited) Okie dokie, more advice... - It's not your fault IMO, that's just something we need to improve upon... So what do I do? - U may read or watch a lot of porn, but it's better to get real experience. It's like learning hockey - sure u can get tons of books or watch vids, but that doesn't change the fact that u can't play. Have sex with more women, or have more sex with one woman - Well I can't seem to find one woman - Expand ur range. U used to aim for young girls/ model type. Older/heavier women can be amazing too - I did, and still can't find anyone - Then improve urself. For example, washboard abs = chick magnet, regardless of how much $ u have or what's ur job. Just work on urself one way or another Cool cool . I'm already in the process of doing that stuff, but thanks for the heads up. EDIT: I just got the funniest POF message from a 65 year old, which says "would you prefer an older woman?" wow Edited December 31, 2011 by ThaWholigan
kaylan Posted December 31, 2011 Posted December 31, 2011 Well, I'm sure men like to think they're these all fulfilling stud muffins who make women scream with passion, but, from what I've read, most men are not that good at it--they only think they are. In any case, I have to run. Have a nice evening. Well men thinking they are good when they are not is the fault of the woman and the man. People who cannot communicate in bed end up with lame sex. And the woman sucks in bed just as much as the guy does. On the other hand, I have read plenty of women say that their current lover is a demon in the sack as well. However, you will normally hear negative stories online because most people use forums such as this one to vent their frustrations. If you read these forums enough you'd also know a lot of girls arent great in bed either. In my experience most are lazy and expect men to do all the work. Boring and a turn off. And trust me, guys will tell their boys that a girl is lame in the sack with behavior such as that. Dunno why girls also seem to think they are these goddesses in bed just because they spread their legs
KathyM Posted December 31, 2011 Posted December 31, 2011 Well men thinking they are good when they are not is the fault of the woman and the man. People who cannot communicate in bed end up with lame sex. And the woman sucks in bed just as much as the guy does. On the other hand, I have read plenty of women say that their current lover is a demon in the sack as well. However, you will normally hear negative stories online because most people use forums such as this one to vent their frustrations. If you read these forums enough you'd also know a lot of girls arent great in bed either. In my experience most are lazy and expect men to do all the work. Boring and a turn off. And trust me, guys will tell their boys that a girl is lame in the sack with behavior such as that. Dunno why girls also seem to think they are these goddesses in bed just because they spread their legs I'm sure there's a lot of bad sex or mediocre sex going on on the part of both men and women. And I'm not talking about reading it just from forums, I've read a lot of articles and surveys on the subject, as well as talked to people IRL about it (I do research on various relationship topics for counseling classes that I take). My point is just that if a guy thinks that because he's a virgin, he's going to be so far behind other guys in his ability level in bed, that's really not the case. The majority of men are not that good at it, nor are women, so those virgins out there don't need to feel bad that they're not going to measure up, because chances are, their ability level won't be a whole lot different from other people who have more experience.
Emilia Posted January 3, 2012 Posted January 3, 2012 (edited) I'm sure there's a lot of bad sex or mediocre sex going on on the part of both men and women. And I'm not talking about reading it just from forums, I've read a lot of articles and surveys on the subject, as well as talked to people IRL about it (I do research on various relationship topics for counseling classes that I take). My point is just that if a guy thinks that because he's a virgin, he's going to be so far behind other guys in his ability level in bed, that's really not the case. The majority of men are not that good at it, nor are women, so those virgins out there don't need to feel bad that they're not going to measure up, because chances are, their ability level won't be a whole lot different from other people who have more experience. Wrong! From personal experience (rather than from reading someone else's), most men manage well in bed as long as they get clear communication from the woman and as long as they make the effort to go beyond the old 'two pump chump' routine. My best lovers managed pretty well and were quite experimental. A lot of guys start young and date older girls to get experience. Hate to blow my own trumpet but over the years I got enough compliments to know I'm pretty decent at it myself. Not sure what publications you read, I'm guessing religious/conservative ones. Maybe you wish to share. Edited January 3, 2012 by Emilia
KathyM Posted January 3, 2012 Posted January 3, 2012 Jobaba during his first time would disagree with you... Some monologue from the unfortunate woman. "Ow." "Ouch." "Owww." Then, later on, after I had a few more times of 'experience'... "Ow. That hurts. You're such a lousy lover." lol.
KathyM Posted January 3, 2012 Posted January 3, 2012 I'm a girl and I would (in fact, did) turn down guys due to their sexual inexperience. I used to have sex with someone who was a 30 year old virgin (or near virgin), it was so bad and awkward that I still feel awful every time I think back. He was a computer nerd, watched porn, did the xxx talk very well, but I guess when it comes to sex, u can only learn from experiences. That problem was with porn, and from what I've read, the heavy watching of porn and the ready accessibility of a lot of porn from the internet is creating a new generation of bad lovers, because the porn industry is geared towards male sexual fantasy and not how to actually please a woman. So men are getting unrealistic views about sex by watching porn.
Author ThaWholigan Posted January 3, 2012 Author Posted January 3, 2012 That problem was with porn, and from what I've read, the heavy watching of porn and the ready accessibility of a lot of porn from the internet is creating a new generation of bad lovers, because the porn industry is geared towards male sexual fantasy and not how to actually please a woman. So men are getting unrealistic views about sex by watching porn. I watch it on occasion, but I can believe that. I don't think that it is necessarily a porn issue (although that could be part of the problem), but I think it's more of an empathy issue, probably brought on by other factors that may include porn.
KathyM Posted January 3, 2012 Posted January 3, 2012 Wrong! From personal experience (rather than from reading someone else's), most men manage well in bed as long as they get clear communication from the woman and as long as they make the effort to go beyond the old 'two pump chump' routine. My best lovers managed pretty well and were quite experimental. A lot of guys start young and date older girls to get experience. Hate to blow my own trumpet but over the years I got enough compliments to know I'm pretty decent at it myself. Not sure what publications you read, I'm guessing religious/conservative ones. Maybe you wish to share. No, none of the articles I've read on the subject were from conservative or religious sources. You are only speaking about your own experience, but studies/opinion polls taken from a large cross section of the public show that a lot of men are not that good at it, despite how many women they've bedded. There are various reasons for this, one being that porn has warped the minds of men and taught them to have a faulty concept of what pleases a woman. A lot of men are impatient, and are not into taking the time for a good amount of foreplay, and are generally uneducated about how to please a woman. A lot of men are not creative in bed, and are "selfish lovers". It's not about quantity, it's about quality. A lot of men also don't know how to delay their orgasm in order to last longer, and they don't know how to stimulate a woman to give her mind blowing orgasms. Hence, there are a lot of mediocre or worse sexual partners out there, so a virgin is not necessarily going to stand out as much worse than the mainstream of people.
Author ThaWholigan Posted January 3, 2012 Author Posted January 3, 2012 No, none of the articles I've read on the subject were from conservative or religious sources. You are only speaking about your own experience, but studies/opinion polls taken from a large cross section of the public show that a lot of men are not that good at it, despite how many women they've bedded. There are various reasons for this, one being that porn has warped the minds of men and taught them to have a faulty concept of what pleases a woman. A lot of men are impatient, and are not into taking the time for a good amount of foreplay, and are generally uneducated about how to please a woman. A lot of men are not creative in bed, and are "selfish lovers". It's not about quantity, it's about quality. A lot of men also don't know how to delay their orgasm in order to last longer, and they don't know how to stimulate a woman to give her mind blowing orgasms. Hence, there are a lot of mediocre or worse sexual partners out there, so a virgin is not necessarily going to stand out as much worse than the mainstream of people. This is the impression I get also, as well as from girls in real life and online (twitter is an interesting place lol). I will agree with the bolded as I get the impression that this is the case. However, a virgin is still going to stand out from his peers, regardless of what is said here. It is just how it is, and unless one lies about their inexperience or has enough attractive qualities to combat their inexperience, that is the reality.
Wolf18 Posted January 3, 2012 Posted January 3, 2012 Going to escorts is not really about experience in my opinion, experience in satisfying a woman you get only by having sex without paying for it. Most prostitutes are going to moan and say everything's amazing just like in porn. It's an act. The reason I would support going to a prostitute is to take the edge and desperation off. When you know that you can get sex whenever you want it, it suddenly doesn't become the life or death issue it is for virgins and guys in long dry spells. I wish prostitution was legal where I live, instead, the whores/escorts always turn me away. Imagine that, being turned away by prostitutes They always think I'm a cop or refuse to serve me for whatever reason.
ShannonMI Posted January 3, 2012 Posted January 3, 2012 Going to escorts is not really about experience in my opinion, experience in satisfying a woman you get only by having sex without paying for it. Most prostitutes are going to moan and say everything's amazing just like in porn. It's an act. The reason I would support going to a prostitute is to take the edge and desperation off. When you know that you can get sex whenever you want it, it suddenly doesn't become the life or death issue it is for virgins and guys in long dry spells. I wish prostitution was legal where I live, instead, the whores/escorts always turn me away. Imagine that, being turned away by prostitutes They always think I'm a cop or refuse to serve me for whatever reason. Oh you're back Wolfie!! I'm so glad:love: You've tried to go to a prostitute? Gross!!!!:sick: I didn't realize hos turned down possible customers. That's strange. I thought they were all about making money.
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