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Dating while not over ex


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Posted

Hey,

 

Just got out of long term relationship (3 months or so ago). Im certainly not over it, and mentally theres a lot of things I want to change before I get into another relationship (i.e. more confidence, work on self esteem, etc).

 

But Ive been getting out there and have been getting quite a few numbers. I guess what Im wondering is: should I go on dates? Am I being fair to the other person? When do I tell them my situation (i.e. freshly broken up)?

 

I dont want to mess anyone around, but do want to get out there meeting people, and having fun. Do I just say upfront Im not looking for anything serious? or just go with the flow?

Posted

Yes, you need to say upfront that you are not looking for relationship. If you don't, then you aren't being fair to those who are looking for a relationship, and they will likely feel you've led them on.

 

Socializing is good for you, but doing it in the context of dating right now is trouble. You may not be looking for anything serious, but the attention can feel very good in the midst of your hurt, and you could easily end up in a rebound relationship, delaying your healing from your last relationship, and hurting someone else in the process.

 

Please reconsider dating at this time and try to keep your social life focused on platonic, non-romantic activities until you can truly get over your break-up. Hang in there -- the only thing that really works is time, and yes, it's damn slow!

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