quietGuy13 Posted December 27, 2011 Posted December 27, 2011 LIke let's say i'm 30 and the girl is 15. IF there's no sex, is it totally ok? Or what if the guy waits 5 years so it would be a 20yr old girl with a 35 year old. Is that ok, and if that's ok then isn't 15-30 also ok, since it's the same age range.
Ross MwcFan Posted December 27, 2011 Posted December 27, 2011 There's a big difference between 15 and 20 though.
Art_Critic Posted December 27, 2011 Posted December 27, 2011 Why in the world would a 30 year old man want to date a 15 year girl/teenager ? Against the law.. I doubt it, as long as you are not giving her alcohol and no sex is involved but it has a creepy factor of 100 on a scale of 1-100.
kaylan Posted December 27, 2011 Posted December 27, 2011 (edited) http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_8-YmFGddDbE/TFCf-aJe0bI/AAAAAAAABJA/7Px5C5QqVKE/s1600/Hansen3.jpg Creepy thread is creepy. EDIT: I heard OP wants to change his username to QuietGuyinaVan. #srs lol Edited December 27, 2011 by kaylan
CarrieT Posted December 27, 2011 Posted December 27, 2011 LIke let's say i'm 30 and the girl is 15. IF there's no sex, is it totally ok? No, it is not totally okay. As a 15-year old girl who was approached and involved (not sexually) MULTIPLE TIMES by guys twice my age, I can tell you now as a fully mature, adult woman how much is screwed me up psychologically. I began to believe that I was more mature than I was and able to handle the attention I received. It forced me to grow up significantly faster than a young girl should. By the time I was 17, I was having sex with men twice my age and believed myself to be mature and psychologically able to handle what I was doing. I am now 47 and if there is anything in my life I could re-do, it would be those years of my life where I was sexualized (even without sex) at too early of an age. Let this girl grow up normally and naturally with kids her own age. Don't influence her with thoughts and ideas that she shouldn't have to deal with yet. What you are doing is wrong even if you believe you have only innocent intentions. There is no way you can project upon her in a healthy state considering your age differences. You are forcing her to become a woman before she should - even if SHE doesn't think so yet. Her brain isn't mature enough to know better. Please, take this from one who has the experience.
Ross MwcFan Posted December 27, 2011 Posted December 27, 2011 (edited) No, it is not totally okay. As a 15-year old girl who was approached and involved (not sexually) MULTIPLE TIMES by guys twice my age, I can tell you now as a fully mature, adult woman how much is screwed me up psychologically. I began to believe that I was more mature than I was and able to handle the attention I received. It forced me to grow up significantly faster than a young girl should. By the time I was 17, I was having sex with men twice my age and believed myself to be mature and psychologically able to handle what I was doing. I am now 47 and if there is anything in my life I could re-do, it would be those years of my life where I was sexualized (even without sex) at too early of an age. Let this girl grow up normally and naturally with kids her own age. Don't influence her with thoughts and ideas that she shouldn't have to deal with yet. What you are doing is wrong even if you believe you have only innocent intentions. There is no way you can project upon her in a healthy state considering your age differences. You are forcing her to become a woman before she should - even if SHE doesn't think so yet. Her brain isn't mature enough to know better. Please, take this from one who has the experience. In what way has it screwed you up psychologically? Edited December 27, 2011 by Ross MwcFan
CarrieT Posted December 27, 2011 Posted December 27, 2011 In what way has it screwed you up psychologically? It made me very promiscuous in my youth, believing that I was only of value when I was a sexual being. I have issues of self-worth and have had multiple failed relationships, never believing I was worthy of anything better than what I often settled for (alcoholics, cross-dressers, closet homosexuals...)
Oxy Moronovich Posted December 28, 2011 Posted December 28, 2011 It made me very promiscuous in my youth, believing that I was only of value when I was a sexual being. I have issues of self-worth and have had multiple failed relationships, never believing I was worthy of anything better than what I often settled for (alcoholics, cross-dressers, closet homosexuals...) While I agree with you that adults shouldn't get with minors, you act as if this couldn't have happened to you if you had dated within your age range.
CarrieT Posted December 28, 2011 Posted December 28, 2011 While I agree with you that adults shouldn't get with minors, you act as if this couldn't have happened to you if you had dated within your age range. I did date within my age range as well - but I understand that it was the older men with whom I got involved that shaped my self-conscious view of only being worthy for the sex they could get from me. I continued to date older because I wanted that "more mature" experience and believed myself intelligent enough - and mature enough - to be able to handle the experiences. It was only through age and maturity did I realize how much I was taken advantage of and how much I was used. I'm not sure guys my age would have known how to do that at that time, but the older men certainly did and that affected my outcome.
Oxy Moronovich Posted December 28, 2011 Posted December 28, 2011 Makes sense. I see whatchoo mean now.
kaylan Posted December 28, 2011 Posted December 28, 2011 See the thing is, young folks arent on the level of people much older than them. I think a lot of guys know this and prey on young gals for sex. Its easy to run circles around younger folks and manipulate them since youve already experience life. Im 25, and find it creepy to do anything with a girl under 21. I prefer 22 and up though. The maturity is just different year by year until your close to youre mid 20s. Just think about how much different we all changed ourselves each year from 17 to 23. Until someone is in their mid 20s, I think its creepy from older (over 30) folks to pursue them. In the teen years I think a 2 year age gap is the max that should be OK in dating, because in your teens the changes and maturity are even more so greater each year. Than once you are 20 to 25, 3 years age gaps are alright. After that, larger gaps are fine. It really says a lot when guys I know my age are trying to get to 17 to 19 yr olds. I mean come on. You just know they are trying to use their life experience to get some easy sex. That and they prolly have crappy game with women their age.
Author quietGuy13 Posted December 28, 2011 Author Posted December 28, 2011 Well i dont know why you guys think it's weird. But I have made friends with tons of 13, 14 year olds 15, 16 girls online. and there's nothing wrong with it. We get along just fine and have good conversation. I've also talked to 17 year olds, 18 year olds in real life and we get along fine. And in February i'm meeting a 20 year old who's coming just to visit me. You guys may think it's weird and you guys think I have sex with them even though i said WITHOUT SEX. I'm very different than the typical guy. I just make frienship and have fun, i'm not a sexual type of guy. And i'm a good person that's why i have tons of online chat/vide/voice friends and yes many of them are 14, 15, 16, 17, 18 and so on. What's the problem? Nothing!
Cracker Jack Posted December 28, 2011 Posted December 28, 2011 Wait...wut? You need to at least try making friends with women around your age, not 13, 14, etc, girls. I can't imagine what good conversation you can have with girls around that age at my current age, let alone 30.
Titania22 Posted December 28, 2011 Posted December 28, 2011 Well i dont know why you guys think it's weird. But I have made friends with tons of 13, 14 year olds 15, 16 girls online. and there's nothing wrong with it. We get along just fine and have good conversation. I've also talked to 17 year olds, 18 year olds in real life and we get along fine. And in February i'm meeting a 20 year old who's coming just to visit me. You guys may think it's weird and you guys think I have sex with them even though i said WITHOUT SEX. I'm very different than the typical guy. I just make frienship and have fun, i'm not a sexual type of guy. And i'm a good person that's why i have tons of online chat/vide/voice friends and yes many of them are 14, 15, 16, 17, 18 and so on. What's the problem? Nothing! Well being platonic friends is fine, but in your original post you said bf/gf relationship, which is somewhat different. Even if full on sex isn't on the menu, asking someone to be your girlfriend has implications, some of which involve intimacy and monogamy. I don't think it is fair to expect a young person to make that sort of commitment, even if they think they are capable. The others are right when they say an older person can more easily manipulate or control a younger person. Now that is not saying you would do that knowingly. But we are all human and subject to human weaknesses. If 2 people are meant to be together, then there is no harm waiting for them both to mature first.
Art_Critic Posted December 28, 2011 Posted December 28, 2011 Cracker Jack.. I'm sure those 13 year old girls don't know his real age.. and certainly their parents don't.. as that is against the law and jailable if he tries to meet with them. It seems by the last post of the OP that he is a creeper, preying on young girls and their innocence
kaylan Posted December 28, 2011 Posted December 28, 2011 I found a picture of OP with someone he just met. http://i43.tinypic.com/xe2x7c.jpg
chryssy83 Posted December 28, 2011 Posted December 28, 2011 I'm sure that the 13 at the end of his user name doesn't make teenage girls think they are talking to a teenage boy online... For those of us who are actual adults, teenagers are annoying as heck. I can't imagine a 30 year old wanting to be friends with a 13 or 14 year old girl, or wanting to have a dating relationship with a 15 year old girl. You shouldn't have anything in common with them... It's super creepy and probably a slippery slope to getting you in a lot of trouble. You shouldn't do this.
Author quietGuy13 Posted December 28, 2011 Author Posted December 28, 2011 " You shouldn't have anything in common with them..." who said that? It depends on the person. Some of us adults in our 30s are not mature/serious business types. Some of us are more childlike. So there's lots in common. I even play lots with my nephews 6 and 10 year olds and we can play all day long. I have lots in common. Everytime we have visitors, i play with the kids instead of talking with the adults. I used to play just like them when i was younger and i remember it exactly. So this "Nothing in common" is not really true. Everyone has things in common with younger people.
mr_sexxxy Posted December 28, 2011 Posted December 28, 2011 Oh please, drama queen attention whoring to the hilt... No, it is not totally okay. As a 15-year old girl who was approached and involved (not sexually) MULTIPLE TIMES by guys twice my age, I can tell you now as a fully mature, adult woman how much is screwed me up psychologically. I began to believe that I was more mature than I was and able to handle the attention I received. It forced me to grow up significantly faster than a young girl should. By the time I was 17, I was having sex with men twice my age and believed myself to be mature and psychologically able to handle what I was doing. I am now 47 and if there is anything in my life I could re-do, it would be those years of my life where I was sexualized (even without sex) at too early of an age. Let this girl grow up normally and naturally with kids her own age. Don't influence her with thoughts and ideas that she shouldn't have to deal with yet. What you are doing is wrong even if you believe you have only innocent intentions. There is no way you can project upon her in a healthy state considering your age differences. You are forcing her to become a woman before she should - even if SHE doesn't think so yet. Her brain isn't mature enough to know better. Please, take this from one who has the experience.
Trimmer Posted December 28, 2011 Posted December 28, 2011 Well i dont know why you guys think it's weird. But I have made friends with tons of 13, 14 year olds 15, 16 girls online. and there's nothing wrong with it. But the whole point of you starting this thread was to ask if there's something wrong with it, so it seems some part of you questions whether this is really "totally OK." Why did you ask the question in your original post? And in February i'm meeting a 20 year old who's coming just to visit me. Does she know your real age? I mean explicitly - like have you used the words "30 years old" with her? (Actually, are you 30, or older? At one point you said "us adults in our 30's...")
EasyHeart Posted December 28, 2011 Posted December 28, 2011 I vote "creepy". OP needs to pray that the police get to him before the girl's father does. Pray very hard because if her dad finds you first, there won't be anything left for the police to arrest.
TaraMaiden Posted December 28, 2011 Posted December 28, 2011 I am now 47 and if there is anything in my life I could re-do, it would be those years of my life where I was sexualized (even without sex) at too early of an age..... Please, take this from one who has the experience. If you don't forgive and let it go, it will always haunt and affect you. "The Past is OVER. forgiveness means giving up all hope of a better Past". My experience...? Ooooh, you have noooooo idea..... and you never will. Because frankly, I no longer attach any importance to it. Me 'then', is not Me 'now'. So why hang on to a Past 'something' something that is frankly, irrelevant to my Present existence?
oldguy Posted December 28, 2011 Posted December 28, 2011 In many areas there is a 4 or 5 year age difference law that basically states if there is a certain age difference, say 5 years & one or both parties have not reached the age of consent it is statutory. I believe the intent was to keep a, say 15 yo from influencing someone much younger than them without legal recourse but in most areas where this may still be on the books it includes 17 year olds with 23 year olds. As a few have pointed out here; there is a much bigger difference between most 17 & 23 yo's than say, a 23 & a 28 yo. And as others have pointed out here, & I think the proper term used by psychologists for this is; "it's just creepy".
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