irc333 Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 Try Plentyoffish. Way more users. And just go out more. Malls, shopping centers, coffee shops, the movies with friends, social events in the city, bars, clubs, etc. Yeah, been there, too, actually left there recently. I'm getting sick of seeing the same faces on that site over and over again, got some women who have "Viewed me" but never respond to me. And all these years, they're STILL on the site. Chances are tehse women are holding out till the cows come home. Some start whining IN their profiles about how tough it's been trying to meet men there. This one woman actually said she's been on the site for a while, but NEVER met a man face-to-face. These women won't even do a MEEt unless you're the man of their dreams first. LOL
CarrieT Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 So I have to say, my online dating experience has been really disappointing thus far; of about 220 girls emailed on OK Cupid in the past 5 months, I only got 36 responses, 7 phone numbers and only 4 dates (back in August) With all due respect, the fact that you kept such a log and counted and remembered your history of your experience contradicts this statement: I tried not to take online dating seriously You are taking it WAY too seriously if you are keeping track the way you have been...
Mme. Chaucer Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 I realize that I am always getting on your case, OP, but I have to say: You have sent out over 200 "form letters" to ANY girls you found decently attractive within a reasonable geographic radius. You say their "profile really stood off the page." But you certainly fail to make a connection with almost all of them, on any level at all. Your goal is to get multiple casual sex partners. I think that the women who get your responses to their profiles can easily tell that you are not "for real." There are many, many guys on OLD (and out in the world in general) who are interested in using women for sex, and you probably happen to be a very transparent one. Most of us who have experienced OLD start to gain a skill for weeding guys like you out instantly. I hope you will HEAR what I am trying to tell you here. No matter how much you WANT to have multiple casual sex partners, and regardless of your belief system that (falsely) tells you that this is your "biological right and duty," your wish involves other human beings. Many of them. Each and every one of your potential multiple casual sex partners is just as much a multi-demensional human being as you are. Why should they WANT to have sex with you? You don't sound sexy or fun. You actually sound like a good person to steer clear of, from a dating perspective. If they don't want to have sex with you, they are NOT GOING TO. You are not EVER going to find the magic trick to fool multiple women into having sex with you. Maybe one, or a couple will fall for it, and they are likely to be girls you would not find attractive - they'll be desperate for male attention. You either have great sex appeal or you don't. I really think that you would be better served working on yourself. There are clearly some disconnects between how awesome you think you are and the way you are being perceived by other people. Part of this would be to realize that it's not "good" to put a lot of energy into trying to deceive people so you can use them. Your approach is predatory - and creepy. I bet that women online and IRL who you encounter can perceive that you are approaching them from an unsavory place, and their instincts are telling them to RUN.
irc333 Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 Putting something about "food" or "romantic things" in your profile also sounds very generic and vanilla.. Just lie about what you are, if you want to be looked at as an option. I've seen so many generic things in a woman's profile, from "Dance like no one's watching" and other lame Marilyn Monroe quotes, "If you can't accept me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best" To the MORE common, "I'm looking for a nice guy, that has a job, drug free, doesn't sweat the small stuff." And junk like, "life's too short to sweat the small stuff" (woops, said that already, lol) I've seen their pictures, they seem normal enough, and vanilla profiles all the way, but I bet guys don't even CARE how generic sounding a woman's profile is. And, I bet these women have no problem getting dates. The generic stuff can get into more specifics face-to-face.
Lobouspo Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 Alot of men have to date BELOW their league to have success with OLD, and often that means the fatties and welfare moms. Don't blame you for not stooping that low.
dasein Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 OP, your response rate is not all that bad. What is bad is your conversion rate from response to phone numbers, which should be 70-95%. So, what are you doing once you get a reply? My most recent OLD time I got a 100% conversion to phone number from response, and a 100% conversion rate from first phone call to first date. In the second email, I respond to her reply in 1-3 paragraphs and then ask her to send her phone number. I include my phone number in that mail with the reasoning "if you aren't comfortable giving yours out yet." Looking back, I can remember only a couple out of many over the years who didn't give me their phone number then. So analyze what you are saying and doing after the first reply, and feel free to post it here for critique. On the first phone call, I have a knowledge of cool things to do within a 10 minute drive of her location. After some flirty chat for about ten minutes, if she sounds OK, I go ahead and ask for the date. Even back before I got good at OLD, almost all accepted the date. So what are you doing on the first phone call? Have a definite plan for a date in her area, make it a weeknight, most of my first dates were M-W, make it a low maintenance kind of date "want to walk through XYZ and then get a martini?" 2 hours tops. And that's that. What are you doing different from the above? My exp comes exclusively from match, and I don't like free sites, so mileage may vary.
mammamia1 Posted December 31, 2011 Posted December 31, 2011 wow thanks for posting the stats, I didn't know the rate is that low. But are u average looking or not photogenic? I suspect that's a big factor, because pics count a lot. Maybe have your pics professionally taken. And like other people said, probably try to meet people in real life instead of online. I'm a girl and I've been to only 1 date from OKC (though I received a lot of messages). This guy had great pics, sounds like a really nice guy in his profile (not a jerk), and is handsome, polite, funny and all in person. However, he told me that he got stood up by 40 girls from OKC (they flaked/didn't show up at dates and stuff). So I guess for guys, it's an uphill battle
Author U1987 Posted December 31, 2011 Author Posted December 31, 2011 wow thanks for posting the stats, I didn't know the rate is that low. But are u average looking or not photogenic? I suspect that's a big factor, because pics count a lot. Maybe have your pics professionally taken. And like other people said, probably try to meet people in real life instead of online. My pics actually were professionally taken. They're really the best pictures I have. I'm a girl and I've been to only 1 date from OKC (though I received a lot of messages). This guy had great pics, sounds like a really nice guy in his profile (not a jerk), and is handsome, polite, funny and all in person. However, he told me that he got stood up by 40 girls from OKC (they flaked/didn't show up at dates and stuff). So I guess for guys, it's an uphill battle Yeah, it's a really big challenge. The 16% response rate isn't bad, but it's turning the first response into a phone number and a first date that's an even bigger challenge; that has an even higher attrition rate.
Sith Apprentice Posted December 31, 2011 Posted December 31, 2011 You're certainly at the bottom of the barrel if you're on OKCupid. I created a profile on there and deleted it after 1 day. Nothing but morbidly obese piggies in my area.
irc333 Posted December 31, 2011 Posted December 31, 2011 You're certainly at the bottom of the barrel if you're on OKCupid. I created a profile on there and deleted it after 1 day. Nothing but morbidly obese piggies in my area. Yeah, I have noticed that on OK Cupid, too. Weird.
oaks Posted December 31, 2011 Posted December 31, 2011 You're certainly at the bottom of the barrel if you're on OKCupid. I created a profile on there and deleted it after 1 day. Nothing but morbidly obese piggies in my area. Where do you live? That wasn't my experience. Plenty of large women claiming to be average, but also plenty of average and slim women, too. (My search area included most of London.)
Sith Apprentice Posted January 9, 2012 Posted January 9, 2012 I live in a large metro area of nearly 1 million people in the south east United States. I hated the entire site. They kept asking me to fill out all these juvenile high school quizzes as well and it was supposed to match me with other users. The algorithms used by these site are pure hokem anyway.
oaks Posted January 9, 2012 Posted January 9, 2012 They kept asking me to fill out all these juvenile high school quizzes as well and it was supposed to match me with other users. The algorithms used by these site are pure hokem anyway. OKCupid matching you with people who like or agree with the things you want your ideal partner to like or agree with is hokem? okay.
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