Coupedriver Posted December 27, 2011 Posted December 27, 2011 Well I am happy to say I am on the other side of the fence and not complaining about my break up which happened months ago....BUT..( this is where its gets interesting..). Ok..so I met this woman through an online dating site and we hit it off pretty good.First date was good with a second lined up..then a 3rd..and more.Now this started about 3 months ago...so into our second month feelings are growing more and more so we start spending more time together and in the 2nd month we become intimate..Now through the whole 2nd and 3rd month we are pretty much seeing each other steady and we both take off our profiles. Now she stays here some nights and I stay with her some nights.Now we are intimate almost all of the free time we have..she has her nights off from me..( which is ok with me..I cant force her to see me..) and we have the greatest time together.We have an awesome open line of communication and never afraid to talk about anything that comes our way... Now one night I just have the feeling to tell her.." I LOVE YOU.." Now she tells me she knows I do by my actions and words and has known that I love her..BUT she tells me.." I AM not ready to say those words yet.." which by me is ok but then I start hearing things coming from her that makes me feel I may never hear those words. She tells me.." I have never had a lover like you"..."I cant seem to get enough of you sometimes.." " I love being with you and falling asleep in your arms.." " I have never been so happy.." ( she was married before..)..and quite a few other things she has said.. Now I know you cant force someone to say " I LOVE YOU" but being so intimate with someone and so many other things..is it wrong to ask her about loving me..? I mean.. being intimate for that amount of time has to have SOME kind of effect on ones feelings..? Am I wrong and just need to give her more space and time..? I know you cant GIVE someone a time table to say those words but when does it become a question of hearing those words..?
kaylan Posted December 27, 2011 Posted December 27, 2011 Slow down buddy. Dont be clingly or emotionally manipulative. Dont grill her about her feelings, especially with how young this relationship is. Some people like to be absolutely sure of love before saying it. Others say it too freely a lot of the time when all it is they are feeling is intense lust. Give her time and hold your horses.
HughHardcastle Posted December 27, 2011 Posted December 27, 2011 It sounds like she just has some kind of mental (or maybe emotional) hangup about saying "I love you". I would consider all those other things she's said to you as being close enough, but that might not be the answer you want to hear. Perhaps she's been hurt in the past by someone that she HAS said "I love you" to, and with her being divorced (or widowed, you don't specify), she might just feel wary about saying it to another person, especially only 3 months in.
Andy_K Posted December 27, 2011 Posted December 27, 2011 I pretty much always get an 'I love you' within three months, because I'm awesome. Don't put any pressure on, and she'll say it as soon as she feels it. If she ever does.
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