Standard-Fare Posted December 27, 2011 Posted December 27, 2011 I know this is not not a new discovery or anything, but I watched this one again last night (probably for the 4th time in my life) and felt grateful for its existence all over again. The movie is definitely sad, but also an enormously helpful and therapeutic piece of art. I recommend it to anyone who's going through or recently went through a breakup. I also realized last night that the "erasing method" the movie explores is so much more than just a clever "what if this existed?" plot device. It's really just an exaggerated, more literal interpretation of the process we all have to go through when a relationship ends. We DO have to erase people. We have to let go of both the love and the hurt to get to a place of safe, numb neutrality. We have to shut down our memories along the way, we have to forget why we loved them, and we have to start over again as if they never existed. But moving past the pretentious analysis...... Anyone else have any suggestions for inspiring, insightful or moving movies that deal with breakups?
Exit Posted December 27, 2011 Posted December 27, 2011 Eternal Sunshine is a great movie. I could do without the goofy stoner parts when they're performing the procedure at his apartment, and also the very end of the movie where they've listened to the tapes and then they're talking in the hallway, they leave it with the cliffhanger about whether or not they are willing to start all over, even after hearing the evidence that they already had a relationship that ended in disaster, and well, an ending like that can kinda give people more hope than what they're likely to experience in real life. Blue Valentine is a more recent movie and it's about a married couple having a rough time instead of just a breakup movie, and this one too has an ambiguous ending where you aren't certain whether the two characters are going to continue a relationship or if it's all over, but it's still good.
Thieves Posted December 27, 2011 Posted December 27, 2011 Blue Valentine is a more recent movie and it's about a married couple having a rough time instead of just a breakup movie, and this one too has an ambiguous ending where you aren't certain whether the two characters are going to continue a relationship or if it's all over, but it's still good. Great movie. A bit of a downer film with not the most 'uplifting' tone, but then again, look at the title... and I do tend to like movies like that. I really like the realism of it throughout the entire thing, as I feel I could actually imagine it happening to a number of people in my life whose relationships have been through the ringer...
sleepykitten Posted December 27, 2011 Posted December 27, 2011 Was just sitting here with the day/eve stretching ahead, its only 11 a.m and wondering what to do that doesnt involve me a) e mailing/texting the ex as i have managed almost 2 mths no contact but still was hard not getting a christmas text from him...still, or b) going to the shops and spending money i dont have...when I read this post and remembered I have blue Valentine to watch, havent seen it yet...so comfies, christmas candles, chocolate and sofa.....
SoulFinger Posted December 27, 2011 Posted December 27, 2011 I agree with the OP I also rate that film..two other good films in my humble opinion are 1)Closer and 2) Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
immitable Posted December 27, 2011 Posted December 27, 2011 Crazy Stupid Love The Holiday i heard 300 Days of Summer should also be good.
Author Standard-Fare Posted December 27, 2011 Author Posted December 27, 2011 **SPOILER ALERT for both "Eternal Sunshine" and "Blue Valentine" below** Exit: It's funny because I think the endings of both Eternal Sunshine and Blue Valentine are unambiguous. In Eternal Sunshine I think it looks like they ARE going to go ahead and start a relationship all over again, even on those scary/shaky terms. I don't think that's meant to give people "more hope than they're likely to experience in real life." I think it's meant to show that when two people are strongly drawn to each other, no rationality can keep them apart. I also think it's meant to show the innocent hopefulness most people start relationships with, even if the odds are against them and they'll likely end up in pain. Both Jim Carrey and Kate Winslet's characters were like "So?" when they realize all these things are going to happen anyway. They were willing to dive into that flawed situation because love is or at least seems like it's worth it. For "Blue Valentine," I think it's pretty clear that relationship is totally dead by the end of the movie. That's a great movie too, but, so godd*mned HEARTBREAKING. I watched this one this fall as my most recent relationship was imploding. Ryan Gosling's character reminded me so much of my now ex... the good-looking, lovable loser whose childishness and lack of ambition and intellectualism grew aggravating and disappointing as time went on. In fact seeing the "future sequences" was a scary look into the potential future for myself and a sad reminder of why it was best to jump ship sooner. I sobbed my freakin' eyes out at the end of it.
esteem-jam Posted December 27, 2011 Posted December 27, 2011 Probably 500 days of Summer is the most spoken one about on this forum. Then Eternal Sunshine of Spotless Mind. People should analyse and look closer to Blue Valentine and Revolutionary Road and find things that led to downhill. In these two and 500 d.o.S. the male character is ambitious, but hasnt fulfilled his potential, infinite intellectualising and placing the blame on female character, maybe not intentionally, but female gets all the "damage". In none of these movies the male is content in his life and happy with his *career*, thus doubting himself. I agree that in Blue Valentine its clearly over, as in wrist cutting and moving and living in different cities and never wanting to see each other because of shame and guilt over. I liked, if thats even likeable, how in Eternal Sunshine they exchanged ultimate insults about each other- she: he is a wimpy cowardly kid, he: shes willing to sleep with with anyone, and acting like shes willing to sleep with anyone. Its the thing that worries so much people on this forum- their ex talked nasty things and we did not have the guts to talk back with insults and whats on our minds, the comments keep on echoing in our minds and we seek/plot revenge, thus the suffering (lesson: if you feel bad about smth, talk your mind out when you still have the chance to).
Author Standard-Fare Posted December 28, 2011 Author Posted December 28, 2011 I liked, if thats even likeable, how in Eternal Sunshine they exchanged ultimate insults about each other- she: he is a wimpy cowardly kid, he: shes willing to sleep with with anyone, and acting like shes willing to sleep with anyone. Its the thing that worries so much people on this forum- their ex talked nasty things and we did not have the guts to talk back with insults and whats on our minds, the comments keep on echoing in our minds and we seek/plot revenge, thus the suffering (lesson: if you feel bad about smth, talk your mind out when you still have the chance to). I actually think that exchanging really nasty, bitingly truthful comments is the death knell of any relationship -- and should be avoided. It brings you to that ugly "place of no return" and 99 percent of the time you'll regret it. There's no point in being cruel to someone you once loved. There's no point in shoving the secrets you've learned about them, the weaknesses only you know about, right back in their face. Using their former vulnerability as a weapon. I once had a situation where an (about-to-be) ex and I exchanged ugly comments about each other's families. Like, mean stuff about each other's parents. I knew when we were doing it that it was something we could never go back from, and that it was something we'd regret. Things normally can't be kept "civil" during a breakup, things do get ugly, but you have to avoid crossing that line into the really dark sh*t.
Wesker Posted December 28, 2011 Posted December 28, 2011 Forgetting Sara Marshal is a great breakup flick, especially from a guy's point of view. Prolly the best line in the movie would be...spoiler... When Peter, and Mila Kunis are on the ledge overlooking the ocean. Peter says something about being impervious to pain now, since nothing can hurt more than the pain our ex's have caused us.
youngster Posted February 23, 2012 Posted February 23, 2012 How about Closer? That movie is very fitting for this board. Also always makes me crave a cigarette:cool:
Sugarkane Posted February 26, 2012 Posted February 26, 2012 How about Closer? That movie is very fitting for this board. Also always makes me crave a cigarette:cool: One of my favourites. I wanted Natalie Portman and Jude Law to end up together! They were my favourite charcaters in that movie. Really good with the love triangles.
esteem-jam Posted February 26, 2012 Posted February 26, 2012 I actually find Closer disgusting. Just my opinion. I cant take all that cheating. Julia Roberts was emotionally down from the get go. Then Jude Law cheats on his GF. Then J.R. accidentally finds her love, by crazy circumstance (like we read about here on the LS). That seemed a bit "unfair", or seems... in my universe. Then JR cheats her newly friend, and JL keeps on cheating her GF, who also cheats. Mindf**k enough? Everyone in this movie cheats. Makes me want to disconnect from this all. Sorry for spoilers.
Exit Posted February 26, 2012 Posted February 26, 2012 Hah my Saturday was soooo boring yesterday that I let myself sit in bed and watch most of "Along Came Polly" with Ben Stiller on TV. Goes on honeymoon with his wife, she cheats on him with a scuba instructor on the first day, Stiller goes back home without her and runs into a girl he knew in grade school. Starts hanging out with her, but it seems they are polar opposites. Predictably enough the ex (still technically his wife) shows back up in time to suggest moving into the house that they had purchased together. He tells her off. At this point I stopped paying attention until the end where Stiller and the other girl (Polly) are back on the same beach from his honeymoon, he runs into the guy who banged his wife and ends up thanking him for everything that he did. Typical romantic comedy garbage and I'm embarrassed that I watched it lol but nice to see the cheating ex get the boot.
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