Alfie Posted December 27, 2011 Posted December 27, 2011 My bf of almost 2 years and I broke up recently. I decided to end it bc I felt that I deserved more, that I wanted to feel much more for someone I was going to marry one day. However, I can't seem to picture a life, a future without him. When I speak of a future, he automatically plays the part of my hubby, or the father of my children even though I don't believe that I am in love with him like some girls explain the way the are in love with their men. IDK what it is, is it bc I got used to his company, is it bc he was the most serious relationship I've had (but ive been in other LT relationships).....since the moment we met I had a feeling he would be the man I would spend my life with. But when we are together, I feel as if I should feel more. I figurered that when I met the RIGHT GUY, things would be different. I would be madly in love and I would never doubt my feelings, and it would just work out. But it didn't happen that way. I've decided after the break up that I should meet other men bc I deserve to be in love and happy, but I'm not taking any of them serioulsy bc for some reaon I keep thinking that I will end upwith my ex. I don't understand what this is and why I feel this way. Is this the "when you know, you know" feeling that women speak of?? Another factore that is now holding me back is the fact that now we are broken up, some of my family are saying things such as "of course you deserve better than him but he is an amzing guy."They all love him, but they feel this way bc he is divorced with a child, and I am not. Also bc I love tall men and he is only 5'9. Now when I thik of us getting back together, my heart sinks knowing that my family is looking at us like "why is she with HIM, why did my daughter settle?" I know its shallow but I can't help but think of their words. How do I get these words out of my head? Why can't I move on and meet someone else when I felt unhappy and deserved more when we were together? Do marriages reach a point of "who cares what others think...?"
HughHardcastle Posted December 27, 2011 Posted December 27, 2011 I say give it another try with him if he is up for it, and see if it goes anywhere. If it doesn't, you'll know for sure he isn't truly "the one", and you'll probably be better equipped mentally to move on.
lululucy Posted December 27, 2011 Posted December 27, 2011 My bf of almost 2 years and I broke up recently. I decided to end it bc I felt that I deserved more, that I wanted to feel much more for someone I was going to marry one day. However, I can't seem to picture a life, a future without him. When I speak of a future, he automatically plays the part of my hubby, or the father of my children even though I don't believe that I am in love with him like some girls explain the way the are in love with their men. IDK what it is, is it bc I got used to his company, is it bc he was the most serious relationship I've had (but ive been in other LT relationships).....since the moment we met I had a feeling he would be the man I would spend my life with. But when we are together, I feel as if I should feel more. I figurered that when I met the RIGHT GUY, things would be different. I would be madly in love and I would never doubt my feelings, and it would just work out. But it didn't happen that way. I've decided after the break up that I should meet other men bc I deserve to be in love and happy, but I'm not taking any of them serioulsy bc for some reaon I keep thinking that I will end upwith my ex. I don't understand what this is and why I feel this way. Is this the "when you know, you know" feeling that women speak of?? Another factore that is now holding me back is the fact that now we are broken up, some of my family are saying things such as "of course you deserve better than him but he is an amzing guy."They all love him, but they feel this way bc he is divorced with a child, and I am not. Also bc I love tall men and he is only 5'9. Now when I thik of us getting back together, my heart sinks knowing that my family is looking at us like "why is she with HIM, why did my daughter settle?" I know its shallow but I can't help but think of their words. How do I get these words out of my head? Why can't I move on and meet someone else when I felt unhappy and deserved more when we were together? Do marriages reach a point of "who cares what others think...?" Love isn't some romantic comedy where everything always works out because you are in love. Relationships are work, dedication, not things that fall into your lap because you feel you deserve it. The biggest problem you have is that he has a child and he is 5'9" when you normally go for tall guys? Those are not qualities that most people would allow to rule out their future husband so I don't believe you really want to marry the guy. After breaking up with someone without a cemented reason and with residual feelings, you're going to have second thoughts. Probably for a really long time. Let this guy go and try not to go into your next relationship with rose coloured glasses.
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