When Friends ignore you on Facebook

[MidnightinMadrid]

I'm noticing a pattern of do 'friends' and sometimes family members ignoring me on facebook(want friendship advice)?

 

When I send a message or post on peoples wall, people hardly respond and never talk to me.. I do is say “Hi how are you doing” 'or wish them Happy Holidays' and that I suppose gets old after so many times.

My cousin who was like a sister to me,heck,I was there when she was born if that matters she keeps posting but ignoring comments I make. Furthermore dont barrage her with comments. Still she hardly responds. I feel as though she does this for attention.

So instead of unfriending her as I did once,boy did she get into a tizzle even had her sister,my other cousin rebuke me for that. Silly I know.

I found out I can unsuscribe her posting but still..

 

I'm not saying people have to be in constant contact with me, of course not that would be self centered to think that, peoples lives don't revolve around others but...for people to just never talk to me at all...just hurts.

So how I need to fix it? I thought about backing off for a while and not talking to people,even blocked a few very unresponsive 'friends',though its still fustrating. Has anyone ever went through the same thing?

I really dont see the big deal now about FB,its just a clique,I think,any advice

 

Thanks

[TaraMaiden]

People attach too much importance to FB. It can make you paranoid....

 

Do you talk to these people IRL...?

Do they ignore you then?

Do they hang up the 'phone on you?

So....what's the big deal?

 

Jeesh, I hate to say it, but there's more to life and social interaction than FB!

[whichwayisup]

I'm noticing a pattern of do 'friends' and sometimes family members ignoring me on facebook(want friendship advice)?

 

When I send a message or post on peoples wall, people hardly respond and never talk to me.. I do is say “Hi how are you doing” 'or wish them Happy Holidays' and that I suppose gets old after so many times.

My cousin who was like a sister to me,heck,I was there when she was born if that matters she keeps posting but ignoring comments I make. Furthermore dont barrage her with comments. Still she hardly responds. I feel as though she does this for attention.

So instead of unfriending her as I did once,boy did she get into a tizzle even had her sister,my other cousin rebuke me for that. Silly I know.

I found out I can unsuscribe her posting but still..

 

I'm not saying people have to be in constant contact with me, of course not that would be self centered to think that, peoples lives don't revolve around others but...for people to just never talk to me at all...just hurts.

So how I need to fix it? I thought about backing off for a while and not talking to people,even blocked a few very unresponsive 'friends',though its still fustrating. Has anyone ever went through the same thing?

I really dont see the big deal now about FB,its just a clique,I think,any advice

 

Thanks

 

Pick up the phone and talk to her! Don't play 'games' and go deleting people just to see their reaction.

 

What you think reality is, may not actually be. Your frame of mind (negative) and paranoria is feeding your insecurities.

 

Live life offline and see your friends instead of classifying them on facebook.

 

I have my sister on FB, she barely posts or comments to me. I don't take it personally because I see or talk to her every single day.

 

Also, people are busy and have kids, maybe they pop on fb for a few minutes to catch up and don't want to reply to messages, they just read.

[Vesna]

I committed Facebook Suicide for this reason: Last NYE I posted a heartfelt message on my wall to let people know that I do not 'collect' friends and that everyone who is on my page is there because I wanted them there. I wished them all the best for the new year.

 

No responses at all after a few days but a lot of unrelated bs going on around what I had written. I felt quite hurt and even insulted. It made me realise how cheap and disposable life can be in cyberspace.

 

People even had the gall to ask me if I had unfriended them and what did they do to upset me. It was the arrogant indifference that annoyed me and now I think fb is there for those who want to gloat and flaunt their fabulous, flawless, yet fake lives for all of the lonely to see. Sick!

 

Off topic a little, a woman in the UK posted a suicide note on her wall which went unnoticed (read-ignored) and she ended her life. Some of her fb friends lived just around the corner so it wouldn't have been too difficult to visit and see how she was.

[MillyRad]

Facebook is great for keeping in touch with friends and family, getting to see adorable pictures of babies and pets. I'm a stay at home mom to two young children and Facebook sometimes helps me to feel less isolated. As per usual, if I'm taking a phone call, the kids want my attention more than ever. Facebook allows me to write a quick note to someone, and the kids don't know to bug me. My mom-duties keep me super busy so sometimes a friend will say something on Facebook and I mean to reply, but in between all of the potty breaks, meals, and chores, I forget. Then I worry that I've offended someone. Though, when I need to know something from someone on Facebook, it can be tough for me to be patient for them to reply, since texts and e-mail are MY main means of communication with the "outside world." It does hurt to feel ignored.

 

For people who are self-important and/or passive-aggressive, Facebook is a virtual playground where they can screw with peoples heads in addition to doing it in real life. The lack of face-to-face communication, or even hearing vocal inflection, provides the perfect smokescreen for relational aggression.

 

What is your cousin like to you in real life and have you talked to her about how her online behavior hurts you?

[Taramere]

I've just been having an enjoyable Rant-about-Facebook with a friend. I disabled my wall ages ago, and my contact with several people has dwindled as a result.

 

It astounds me how people will post the most important details of their lives on their FB wall now. Somebody who I used to be close friends with announced on FB that she was pregnant, and I've seen a couple of other bits of major (in one case very shocking) personal news being announced on there by people who I thought were friends. That's the test for me. If the first I hear about your important news is via a public message on Facebook, obviously the friendship has pretty much gone down the plughole.

 

Unfortunately it seems as though a lot of people choose to announce their news that way now. "I just got dumped by my partner of 10 years" "Awwww hunny. Poor U. Have a glass of wine and a night in front of the X Factor and you'll feel better. Hugzzzz." 5 people like this comment. I look at it thinking "this person and I were once good friends. Now it has come to reading about this on a Facebook profile as though they're a celebrity and I'm a lowly fan. Then I duly add an inane comment to their status update by way of acknowledgement that this is what a once important friendship has been reduced to.

 

After a few years of having a Facebook account I've learned that there's not really much difference between people I was once good friends with, and strangers on this board. Actually, I've come to the conclusion that a few people I've met on cyberspace are far better people than these real life friends I had. Seeing how people post on the internet is like seeing who they become when they get behind the wheel of a car.

 

Another thing relates to the amount of personal information people are quite happy to give out about themselves on their wall, to their 1,500 friends...more than half of whom are probably fake profiles created by market researchers. One thing George Orwell failed to predict was just how warm a welcome we'd give Big Brother.

[The Outlaw]

Facebook is overrated. I had just one bother to post 'Merry Christmas' to me over my wall, and one is indeed better than none. If she ignores your comments, just don't post anything further, or hide her news feed. It sucks that people that are supposed to be 'friends' ignore you the way they do, but in some cases, they just may have other things going on and just don't think to reply back. And some will indeed ignore you. I had one friend, or so I thought do this to me and expected me to carry around the weight of the friendship and I just cut her off. It sucks, but it works out really well in the long run. I hope I didn't get too far off track there, but I hope it gets better for you

[NoMagicBullet]

One thing to consider with Facebook is the "newsfeed' you get as relates to number of friends and prolific posters versus those who aren't. The feed is biased toward the more active users. Also, the post-comment format, like a blog, isn't really geared to having a real conversation, although it's possible if both parties make an effort.

 

I'm connected to barely 40 people on FB, but 99% of the posts I see on the feed are by less than a handful of those people. A lot of people don't log in that often, and unless I check each person's page, I'll never know what's going on with them. Since I don't log in all that often myself, I can't really keep up with everyone on there. I post things now and then, but I'm sure my wall posts rarely make it on the feed my friends see, because other people have posted more stuff more recently. It kind of sucks to be so invisible, but it's the nature of the beast. I don't take it personally, and I'm not going to knock myself out posting whatever comes along to be "popular" enough for some computer algorithm to put my info on my friends' pages.

 

FB simply isn't designed as a medium for meaningful contact, and I don't expect it to be. (Although like many things, it is what people put into it.) I simply have it to not totally lose touch with some people otherwise: old friends, high school classmates, etc. I might not be close to a lot of these people anymore, but it's nice to be able to say "congrats" on a wedding or new baby or such. Meaningful contact occurs in real life, and always will.