ZimboGon Posted December 25, 2011 Posted December 25, 2011 (edited) Its been 4 weeks of no contact, 6 weeks since we broke up. We had a great relationship, very loving and nurturing. We were together a year and a half. We hit a rough point, and she left me for another guy. I walked in on them together. Since the break-up, she's been avoiding me, telling lies saying i was a bad boyfriend. I know she's doing it so she doesn't feel as guilty. Last time i tried contacting her, i texted her our pet died a few weeks ago and she didn't reply. Its been 6 weeks, and i ran into her yesterday and she avoided me like always and i just acted natural. I'm still hopeful she'll realize the mistake she made leaving me for this guy who played her, but its too soon for anything to happen being she's in the honeymoon phase with him. I know she won't contact me. She's a very passive person. When we broke up and i caught them together, i was angry. She wanted to stay friends, and I told her never to contact me again and i indirectly called her a b*tch. Then she would stalk my facebook page and message me, so i blocked her. I know she probably thinks at this point i hate her, but i don't. Its very much the opposite. But, she's with another guy. Its only been 6 weeks. I can't break no contact or reach out to her. More time needs to pass. I just want to send a Merry Christmas. Is that wrong? Maybe i should wait till new years... EDIT: and the word around the street, she and her new boyfriend aren't doing too great. Edited December 25, 2011 by ZimboGon
ken_25 Posted December 25, 2011 Posted December 25, 2011 I don't think you should make any contact. Walking in on them, no response on the pet passing, avoidance, etc... she doesn't deserve anything more from you. Stick to NC and just do your best to shift your focus away from her.
Author ZimboGon Posted December 25, 2011 Author Posted December 25, 2011 Deep down, i want her back though. She's young, she's immature, and i know she will regret everything one day. She's never been good at expressing herself and her feelings, and she couldn't handle the break-up and it ended like a trainwreck. It wasn't because she just didn't care. She wouldn't be avoiding me if she didn't care.
ken_25 Posted December 25, 2011 Posted December 25, 2011 Deep down, i want her back though. She's young, she's immature, and i know she will regret everything one day. She's never been good at expressing herself and her feelings, and she couldn't handle the break-up and it ended like a trainwreck. It wasn't because she just didn't care. She wouldn't be avoiding me if she didn't care. Messaging her about the holidays after she has been avoiding you and not responding to your previous texts isn't going to get you any closer to getting her back. Ok, she's immature and has trouble expressing her feelings and thoughts. Well, guess what? She hasn't matured yet, and only then is it worth trying again. She probably does care, she also kinda cared when you walked in on her with another guy, so..? You need to just try moving on, let NC work it's magic. If you want this girl back, you need to stay away for now and if you want to move on and meet someone better, you need to stay away. So needless to say, right now and at least for awhile just let her go off and do her thing, and keep your distance.
BoredAgain Posted December 25, 2011 Posted December 25, 2011 As long as you're not hoping for a reply, I don't see why sending a simple "happy holidays" text is a big deal. At the same time, I also don't really see the point.
SkyEmtRN Posted December 25, 2011 Posted December 25, 2011 I'm stuck at the same debate. I to want to send one but at the same time I don't. Its not going to change anything. If anything they might be buisy with family or what ever they doing. There is still time to think about it...
Author ZimboGon Posted December 25, 2011 Author Posted December 25, 2011 I would do it just to let her know i don't hate her. To try and trigger a nerve or something in her.
Author ZimboGon Posted December 25, 2011 Author Posted December 25, 2011 ... I broke no contact. Darn.
thepedestrian Posted December 25, 2011 Posted December 25, 2011 How does it feel? Do you feel better now?
Author ZimboGon Posted December 25, 2011 Author Posted December 25, 2011 I do, actually. Its the first time she's said anything to me in 4 weeks.
MIK1000 Posted December 25, 2011 Posted December 25, 2011 I do, actually. Its the first time she's said anything to me in 4 weeks. what did she say? I'm considering it, I very much doubt i will though. It's just my mum is advising me to.
Desensitized Posted December 25, 2011 Posted December 25, 2011 what did she say? I'm considering it, I very much doubt i will though. It's just my mum is advising me to. If you still have feelings for her, don't text her. If you just want to be friends, I don't see why you shouldn't text her, if you want to reconcile. Otherwise, the past should just be left in the past. You will never fully get over it if you keep letting the past surface into the present moment,
Author ZimboGon Posted December 25, 2011 Author Posted December 25, 2011 what did she say? I'm considering it, I very much doubt i will though. It's just my mum is advising me to. I just sent a "Merry Christmas (her name)" and she replied about 10 minutes later, "Merry christmas to you too"
Author ZimboGon Posted December 26, 2011 Author Posted December 26, 2011 Well, nothing came out of it, yet nothing negative did either. I feel pretty much the same, but i'm glad to know she has the decency to reply. Phew.
TearyEyedPride Posted December 26, 2011 Posted December 26, 2011 Well, nothing came out of it, yet nothing negative did either. I feel pretty much the same, but i'm glad to know she has the decency to reply. Phew. Will you be satisfied if that's all that comes from it?
Author ZimboGon Posted December 26, 2011 Author Posted December 26, 2011 In the end, i think everyone that has read my posts know i want reconciliation. That is what i desire. I've been single for awhile, i have sorted everything out and i still know that is what i ultimately want. People say she treated me horribly in the end, but there were mistakes on both parts. Mistakes i have worked on, and everything that happened i understand why it did and i know she still cared about me when she did them, and i forgive her. So despite everything, i still love her and i desire reconciliation because no other woman will really do it for me. I know i was great to her, and i know she loved me. I feel like if i have faith in that, in who i am, and what we were together it will happen. I'm not saying this because i am lonely, or because i want her back. I know what i want, and it is her. If i have to wait for her to grow up and realize her mistakes and come running back, so be it. I'll always be there with open arms.
TearyEyedPride Posted December 26, 2011 Posted December 26, 2011 Hmm. It sounds like you're leaving yourself quite open to what could be a very long painful and maybe even neverending wait. What if she never grows up? What if she goes on and gets married and has kids with someone else? The truth is... she's let go for now, and you're still holding on. So as honorable and sweet as it seems for you to want to hold out for her to come around... it's very risky. Love is about weighing the risks you're willing to take though, and what you're able to put up with. So even though I'm predicting a tumultuous road, I'm wishing you all the best and hoping I'm wrong.
Author ZimboGon Posted December 26, 2011 Author Posted December 26, 2011 Hmm. It sounds like you're leaving yourself quite open to what could be a very long painful and maybe even neverending wait. What if she never grows up? What if she goes on and gets married and has kids with someone else? The truth is... she's let go for now, and you're still holding on. So as honorable and sweet as it seems for you to want to hold out for her to come around... it's very risky. Love is about weighing the risks you're willing to take though, and what you're able to put up with. So even though I'm predicting a tumultuous road, I'm wishing you all the best and hoping I'm wrong. I know i am being an idiot. But, i spent my life idolizing love and romance. I spent the majority of my early dating time making huge mistakes, dating the wrong people and just making a mess of everything. Then i found her. She opened my eyes when i had just about given up. So, i guess i am taking a big risk by putting everything on her coming back. I may take a devastating fall in the future. Unfortunately for me, i'm so confident i can't even lie to myself about a future where she doesn't come back. It just seems meant to be. I was a huge part of her life and it was all torn away so fast. It'll be impossible for her to ever forget me or run away from the guilt of what she did to me. From the things i'm hearing about her rebound relationship, i don't think it will be much longer before that crumbles and she sees what life is like without me. She was a very depressed person, emotionally abused by her parents. I was basically her crutch, i showed her life is better than what you see. She won't find anyone who treats her better than i did. So, we wait.
Recommended Posts