samsungxoxo Posted December 25, 2011 Posted December 25, 2011 (edited) suppose to be very tolerant and not demanding in a relationship? I think at some point anyone with feelings has to demand something. But see if I say this, anyone (esp. some men) right away assume materialist. What if a man or woman never puts any effort at all, not even for your b-day or they can afford something better but goes very cheap? What if you put all effort and they know what you like (definitely can afford it) but never even bother? What if they give you nothing at all for a special Holiday or b-day? I get kinda annoyed when some people say ''But it shouldn't matter'' and right away label me as materialist. No... but there are limits too. Everything has a limit. I bet if these people were treated like that, they would break up or get pissed too. IMO I think people who purposely go cheap even on special ocassions or just never put any real effort aren't really into you. They are treating you like a friend mainly, not a gf/bf. Edited December 25, 2011 by samsungxoxo
FitChick Posted December 25, 2011 Posted December 25, 2011 If your boyfriend were dating a movie star, would he treat her the same way?
Author samsungxoxo Posted December 25, 2011 Author Posted December 25, 2011 If your boyfriend were dating a movie star, would he treat her the same way?He's my long ex now but I doubt a movie star would accept that type of treatment. I think a movie star would dumped him in hours, in which he would have to off course put way more effort.
bean1 Posted December 25, 2011 Posted December 25, 2011 I think people just relax over time (or don't...). In the first few weeks, we used to talk on the phone all dang day while working (or not working I guess, LOL), now years later with kids, we don't even get each other gifts at Christmas/birthdays, it really doesn't matter to us anymore. Getting a few hours alone once a week brings a lot more joy than any gift, your priorities change. Or they don't - which is fine as long as you are on the same page. But I think it's natural for some people to stop caring about those things.
Author samsungxoxo Posted December 25, 2011 Author Posted December 25, 2011 I think people just relax over time (or don't...). In the first few weeks, we used to talk on the phone all dang day while working (or not working I guess, LOL), now years later with kids, we don't even get each other gifts at Christmas/birthdays, it really doesn't matter to us anymore. Getting a few hours alone once a week brings a lot more joy than any gift, your priorities change. Or they don't - which is fine as long as you are on the same page. But I think it's natural for some people to stop caring about those things.It's different if you're married with kids but I'm sure they did care when it at ''relationship status''. I was referring when it's just dating (gf and bf) and they are like that almost from the start.
bean1 Posted December 25, 2011 Posted December 25, 2011 We were like that at bf/gf stage too- it's more of a personality thing, some people just don't see a fuss about certain dates/holidays, whereas some people believe in going "all out". Whether you are tolerant or not is really your own view - personally, I consider it vain and materialistic to expect a fuss with birthdays/gifts when you aren't a kid, but that is MY belief. If that is not your belief and it is important to *you* then that's something to look for in a person. If that person isn't into that thing, then consider it a personality trait. It isn't about not caring about a person (if that's your perception), it just means that isn't important to them. People who are very into birthdays/gifts/cards etc. tend to read into this more than it is - I have a friend who is very into that stuff and thinks if a guy doesn't care about it, that it means he is just not caring about her. Not true. And that's part of the reason people like me don't like the idea of birthdays/gifts for adults.
FitChick Posted December 25, 2011 Posted December 25, 2011 I doubt a movie star would accept that type of treatment. Neither should you!
Author samsungxoxo Posted December 25, 2011 Author Posted December 25, 2011 (edited) Neither should you!You're right which is why I eventually dumped him. Bean1 I'm into b-days and special occasions. Someone that gives me nothing or treats it like a normal day is not the type of person I'm looking for. This is not good enough for me. So nope me and a man like that would not be on the same page. I would say it's because I like giving. It comes from me and when someone isn't the same, it's when I get hurt. Edited December 25, 2011 by samsungxoxo
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