Content Posted December 25, 2011 Posted December 25, 2011 I see a lot of guys here and in my circle who are scared to death of a women rejecting them they see it as confirmation of how ugly or undesirable to women they are.. I used to be that way,if a women ignored me or gave me the cold shoulder in approaching them i felt like it was my looks and that mere mortals weren't allowed in her presence and if it was a good looking guy shed bend over backwards for him.. I then saw my friends who got tons of women and were pretty good looking cold approach women in bars lounges public places wherever and get shot down just as harshly and i realized it wasnt just me or ugly and average dudes and that cold approaches dont work 9 out of 10 times no matter how good looking you are.. In no way should you take it personally or that it means you're undesirable.. Besides real rejection is when you're in a long relationship and somebody leaves you because they dotn accept you for who you aqre as a person they know all about,rejection from a virtual stranger is nothing in the scheme of things..
somedude81 Posted December 25, 2011 Posted December 25, 2011 Don't forget situations where you know somebody, have spent some time with them, then they reject you. I'm sure it's not as bad as getting dumped but it still hurts. And getting rejected by every single person you've ever liked, really digs into you.
GoodOnPaper Posted December 25, 2011 Posted December 25, 2011 In no way should you take it personally or that it means you're undesirable.. Besides real rejection is when you're in a long relationship and somebody leaves you because they dotn accept you for who you aqre as a person they know all about,rejection from a virtual stranger is nothing in the scheme of things.. I always felt the opposite. An early rejection is a rejection of me while a later rejection can be due to incompatibility as a couple -- I don't feel as bad if I was at least given a chance.
jobaba Posted December 25, 2011 Posted December 25, 2011 Don't forget situations where you know somebody, have spent some time with them, then they reject you. I'm sure it's not as bad as getting dumped but it still hurts. Unrequited love/friendzoning is worse than being dumped. At least being dumped, you know the person was attracted to you. Unrequited love/friendzoning is easily the worst heartbreak I have ever felt. Complete rejection as a suitable mate by a person who has already seen all of your best qualities. Rough stuff...
FitChick Posted December 25, 2011 Posted December 25, 2011 A more productive way of interpreting situations like all of those above is that the woman was not the right one for you. Being rejected just brings you one step closer to the women who is right for you. If you do nothing and don't meet anyone, you will never meet Ms Right.
jobaba Posted December 25, 2011 Posted December 25, 2011 A more productive way of interpreting situations like all of those above is that the woman was not the right one for you. Being rejected just brings you one step closer to the women who is right for you. If you do nothing and don't meet anyone, you will never meet Ms Right. That logic works when you breakup from a relationship or are dumped. But it doesn't really work when you've spent countless days alone with a woman who you get along with who friendzones you and then you're making out with a girl who you've met for 2 hours. I've been rejected by a number of women who would have been 'great for me'. I just wasn't good looking enough. It sucks, but you move along. I think harsh reality works better than watered down rationalizations. My brain won't buy the latter.
Cracker Jack Posted December 25, 2011 Posted December 25, 2011 About a week ago, my friend was out talking to this woman, and when he asked for her # during their convo, she just walked away. Dude wasn't fazed at all. See's another woman a few blocks away who looks even better, talks to her, gets her #, and takes her on a date a few days later. I asked him how does he do it, and he said "The main difference between us is I see approaching women as an opportunity, you don't. You play it safe by avoiding a possible rejection, and that's why you're not getting anywhere with women. Get off the sideline and be a man, dude. You're really wasting away your best yrs over something so stupid" and that has had me thinking a lot. I'm beginning to get sick of it because it really does seem irrational. Anyway, I'm looking forward to experiencing this firsthand next yr.
FitChick Posted December 25, 2011 Posted December 25, 2011 I just wasn't good looking enough. If that is the only thing holding you back, then it's easily remedied. Scroll down the page and look at all the before and after photos.
Dust Posted December 25, 2011 Posted December 25, 2011 About a week ago, my friend was out talking to this woman, and when he asked for her # during their convo, she just walked away. Dude wasn't fazed at all. See's another woman a few blocks away who looks even better, talks to her, gets her #, and takes her on a date a few days later. I asked him how does he do it, and he said "The main difference between us is I see approaching women as an opportunity, you don't. You play it safe by avoiding a possible rejection, and that's why you're not getting anywhere with women. Get off the sideline and be a man, dude. You're really wasting away your best yrs over something so stupid" and that has had me thinking a lot. I'm beginning to get sick of it because it really does seem irrational. Anyway, I'm looking forward to experiencing this firsthand next yr. Stop thinking and just do it already. I have a lot more respect for people who don't take every girl they meet and flirt with so personally. It's not like if you get to 100 rejections you suddenly get killed. So many factors come into play its pointless to take it personally. Understand that the less you care about that kind of thing and the more you just enjoy meeting with and connecting with people the better you will do. It's that simple.
jobaba Posted December 25, 2011 Posted December 25, 2011 About a week ago, my friend was out talking to this woman, and when he asked for her # during their convo, she just walked away. Dude wasn't fazed at all. See's another woman a few blocks away who looks even better, talks to her, gets her #, and takes her on a date a few days later. I asked him how does he do it, and he said "The main difference between us is I see approaching women as an opportunity, you don't. You play it safe by avoiding a possible rejection, and that's why you're not getting anywhere with women. Get off the sideline and be a man, dude. You're really wasting away your best yrs over something so stupid" and that has had me thinking a lot. I'm beginning to get sick of it because it really does seem irrational. Anyway, I'm looking forward to experiencing this firsthand next yr. YES! Thatta boy. I'm with you man. If that is the only thing holding you back, then it's easily remedied. Scroll down the page and look at all the before and after photos. Haha. I'm not sure if your'e joking or serious. My body is decent. It's pretty similar to SomeDude's body. As far as plastic surgery, if I thought it would make a difference, I would probably do it. But it won't. Really those people don't look that much different from the befores.
Cracker Jack Posted December 25, 2011 Posted December 25, 2011 I'm also likely going to create a personal log so I can analyze my progress as much as possible. Even if there's an embarrassing rejection there, I'll be sure to post about it, no matter how much it sucks. Dust, my problem is that I often feel like I'm simply lacking in the art of flirting. However, I'm not worried about that anymore.
somedude81 Posted December 26, 2011 Posted December 26, 2011 A more productive way of interpreting situations like all of those above is that the woman was not the right one for you. Being rejected just brings you one step closer to the women who is right for you. If you do nothing and don't meet anyone, you will never meet Ms Right. Spend time with a woman, we have fun, enjoy each other company, get along great, then she rejects me, "Oh she just wasn't the right one for me." Spend time with a woman, we have fun, enjoy each other company, get along great, then she rejects me, "Oh she just wasn't the right one for me." Spend time with a woman, we have fun, enjoy each other company, get along great, then she rejects me, "Oh she just wasn't the right one for me." Spend time with a woman, we have fun, enjoy each other company, get along great, then she rejects me, "Oh she just wasn't the right one for me." See a problem there?
Lonely Ronin Posted December 26, 2011 Posted December 26, 2011 Spend time with a woman, we have fun, enjoy each other company, get along great, then she rejects me, "Oh she just wasn't the right one for me." Do you know why you got rejected? Have you asked?
Pizzaman81 Posted December 26, 2011 Posted December 26, 2011 Don't worry about rejection, because at times in your life, you have rejected others as well. It's normal... right? You have rejected others I hope...
somedude81 Posted December 26, 2011 Posted December 26, 2011 Do you know why you got rejected? Have you asked? No, I've never had the opportunity to ask somebody why they rejected me. Usually when I get rejected, the girl wants nothing to do with me anymore. For some reason, I've never been able to end on good terms with a girl. That really hurts and also sucks that I'm not really able to learn what I did wrong and how to correct it. Don't worry about rejection, because at times in your life, you have rejected others as well. It's normal... right? You have rejected others I hope... Looking back at my life, three girls made it obvious that they were interested in me. I rejected one of them because she was; obese, ugly, had mental health issues, older than me, and for some reason told me that she had an abortion. This was back when I was 18.
Pizzaman81 Posted December 26, 2011 Posted December 26, 2011 I rejected one of them because she was; obese, ugly, had mental health issues, older than me, and for some reason told me that she had an abortion. This was back when I was 18. There you go! See? Now you understand... Understand meaning it's normal to reject people that you are not interested, not because you are obese, ugly, had mental health issues, too old and/or had an abortion
somedude81 Posted December 26, 2011 Posted December 26, 2011 There you go! See? Now you understand... Understand meaning it's normal to reject people that you are not interested, not because you are obese, ugly, had mental health issues, too old and/or had an abortion Yeah, but I really have no idea why girls are rejecting me in mass. Never mind the fact that I'm 30 and only three women have expressed interest, plus all of them happened to be very overweight. BTW, wanting to edit my previous post but can't. Here it is Do you know why you got rejected? Have you asked? No, I've never had the opportunity to ask somebody why they rejected me. Usually when I get rejected, the girl wants nothing to do with me anymore. For some reason, I've never been able to end on good terms with a girl. That really hurts and also sucks that I'm not really able to learn what I did wrong and how to correct it. Though to be honest. The last girl that rejected me, made it very clear that she didn't want to date anybody at all, and I was no exception. Though for some reason I still blame myself and believe that I should have been able to make her fall for me. God, I'm such an idiot. But if I ever find out that she has a boyfriend, I will be pissed.
Pizzaman81 Posted December 26, 2011 Posted December 26, 2011 Yeah, but I really have no idea why girls are rejecting me in mass. Never mind the fact that I'm 30 and only three women have expressed interest, plus all of them happened to be very overweight. BTW, wanting to edit my previous post but can't. Here it is No, I've never had the opportunity to ask somebody why they rejected me. Usually when I get rejected, the girl wants nothing to do with me anymore. For some reason, I've never been able to end on good terms with a girl. That really hurts and also sucks that I'm not really able to learn what I did wrong and how to correct it. Though to be honest. The last girl that rejected me, made it very clear that she didn't want to date anybody at all, and I was no exception. Though for some reason I still blame myself and believe that I should have been able to make her fall for me. God, I'm such an idiot. But if I ever find out that she has a boyfriend, I will be pissed. I'm 30 too man. But I don't think that's the issue. Uh are you overweight? What sort of activities do you do? What are your interests?
somedude81 Posted December 26, 2011 Posted December 26, 2011 I'm 30 too man. But I don't think that's the issue. Uh are you overweight? What sort of activities do you do? What are your interests? Post 89 of this thread answers your first question. I don't want to make this thread go off topic, so I'd gladly answer your other questions in the thread I linked.
Dust Posted December 26, 2011 Posted December 26, 2011 Post 89 of this thread answers your first question. I don't want to make this thread go off topic, so I'd gladly answer your other questions in the thread I linked. Like the OP says "It's silly to take rejection that badly" also in your case its stopped you from living you life. I was rejected by far more girls then you ever have been in all your 30 years and that was by age 22... We tell you to stop worying about if a girl will be your gf and just live life, flirt ask people out you like... all you do is wory and refuse to ever make move! good job
somedude81 Posted December 26, 2011 Posted December 26, 2011 Like the OP says "It's silly to take rejection that badly" also in your case its stopped you from living you life. I was rejected by far more girls then you ever have been in all your 30 years and that was by age 22... And how many of those girls did you actually like? IMO getting rejected by a girl you've spoken to for less than 20 minutes doesn't count as a rejection.
Dust Posted December 26, 2011 Posted December 26, 2011 And how many of those girls did you actually like? IMO getting rejected by a girl you've spoken to for less than 20 minutes doesn't count as a rejection. Why is 20 minutes the cut off. Do you fall love after 20 minutes? Why not just realize that nothing is really rejecton and stop being so scared. I only go for girls I like. Of course unlike you I realized you can't fall in love with a person you don't really know. I realize that knowing some one from afar or as a friend is a lot different then getting to know them one on one as a lover over a year and over the years... So if it doesn't even count as rejecton why are you so scared? Why don't you just do what we've been telling you and stop worrying about it. Now also important is you stop approaching these women as friends. At the end of the date or durring the date do something romantic and make a move.
somedude81 Posted December 26, 2011 Posted December 26, 2011 20 minutes is a rough cut-off. You say that you've asked out a bunch more girls than I have. But I'm saying that if you asked out any girls that you haven't even known for twenty minutes, then that rejection doesn't count in your number. Most girls I've asked out I knew for at least two to three weeks, before I got rejected. Also, how do you even know you like somebody if you don't actually know a thing about them?
Lonely Ronin Posted December 26, 2011 Posted December 26, 2011 No, I've never had the opportunity to ask somebody why they rejected me. Usually when I get rejected, the girl wants nothing to do with me anymore. For some reason, I've never been able to end on good terms with a girl. That really hurts and also sucks that I'm not really able to learn what I did wrong and how to correct it. If she wants nothing to do with you, then you have nothing to loose by wanting to know why. You can't really say wtf, but you can be kind of aggressive when you ask. Just because it didn't work out, doesn't mean you did anything wrong. It could be her, it could be you, it could be both of you.
Dust Posted December 26, 2011 Posted December 26, 2011 20 minutes is a rough cut-off. You say that you've asked out a bunch more girls than I have. But I'm saying that if you asked out any girls that you haven't even known for twenty minutes, then that rejection doesn't count in your number. Most girls I've asked out I knew for at least two to three weeks, before I got rejected. Also, how do you even know you like somebody if you don't actually know a thing about them? Look you're doing all wrong and you say you want to learn but you argue every single sugestion we give you. If you only ask out girls after weeks of knowing them and you've barely asked out any girls my point is you're really limiting yourself with some silly rule? Also you're so picky about who you ask out yet you had sex with some random chick you met at a party... Knowing some one for 3 weeks or a year or years as a friendly aquantance is hardly knowing them. You can't really know some one as a lover until you date them have that one on one romantic experience... not just friends talking about where to eat.... You see you can't know some one before you start getting to know them. I ask them out because they seem like some one I would like and until they prove me wrong I'll be willing to give it a shot. Stop looking for the sure thing! Take a risk
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