Is this a break or breakup?

[pushforward]

Hi all, (Looking for advice or input)

 

Long story short. Me and the current relationship have been dating for 3 months. I'm the guy and she's the girl. We already exchanged I love yous and have a fantastic relationship. We also work together in different departments. Her coworkers don't like me because they are chaotic people with chaotic lives. For example, one of them got her drunk and invited her to his place and when she said no, he insulted her for being lame. The other coworkers who are female are crazy. They try to break us up and basically pimp her out.

 

Why she wants a break?

 

-She asked me if I ever showed any coworker her pics, I said no. (I thought she meant naked pics)

-She didn't believe me because one of her coworkers said I was going around showing her pic and went into details about the pic.

-She then proceeded to say that I'm ruining her reputation. (Which I find really odd because she flirts with all the guy coworkers and they talk about her female body parts such as her boobs and ass and she laughs it off because it's a joke to her)

-She told me we're on a break and that I'm free to see other people and it's been about 48 hours since the break.

 

My response to her, I thought she meant naked pics and I told her I showed XYZ a picture of her butt in a thong, like a bikini shot when we first started dating. When we got serious, I stopped disclosing anything and never showed anyone naked pictures.

 

My logic right now, was one of her coworkers who looks through her phone saw these pics and is going around spreading these rumors because they really dislike me and behave like children. (I haven't talked to her about this yet.)

 

We used to do everything together and for her to go and believe someone else over me is a big problem. I miss her and at the same time am really frustrated over this situation. I did not intentionally life about me showing the picture to XYZ, I simply didn't think that was the picture she was talking about. I talked to XYZ and he confirmed that he told no one. I believe him, we are really close and know a lot about each other, he's a respectable guy.

 

Anyways, I'm upset because she doesn't trust me when I am an amazing boyfriend. She let's her anger control her and overrule her logic.

 

I'm in a tough position because now I'm waiting for her to come to her senses so I can lay it out on the line. I'm going to tell her that I don't deserve this treatment. Yes, I lied but not intentionally about the pic I did show because I didn't think that was in question. I would never show anyone anything that was demeaning or portray her in a negative life. I truly care for her and when she hurts, I hurt. It's terrible to have a great relationship and when a minor rumor goes around, she instantly goes to break or break up. We've been in 2 major fights so far and she always reacts this way.

 

I'm really nervous and full of anxiety because I do love her and do not want to lose her but this whole game she's playing is sick. It's like she wants me to hurt over this and beg for her to come back to reassure her that I love her. (She was abused and molested by family and has issues.)

 

I'm doing my best to support and nurture her but this is really pushing me away. I am going to calmly let her know how her reactions affect me and our relationship. The relationship isn't worth staying in if she will buy into the rumor mill and throw away all the happiness we have together. That I constantly have to defend myself and my character has never been questions before. I'm sick of being the one fighting for the relationship.

 

24 hours after the fight, I gave her her Christmas gift and she thanked me. She said it was nice of me and it was cute. We started talking about our son who is a stuffed animal and it was cute. The conversation died and we had a company Christmas party to attend. We both sat at different tables and she came up to me wanting to see my pictures from the photo booth. We exchanged and made comments about each others' pictures. We left it at that and I haven't heard from her since.

 

Right now, she's going up north to visit her family. I'm doing everything I possibly can to take my mind off this situation but it's really difficult.

 

I can understand how she feels and I will own up to my mistake of lying to her, it wasn't intentional but that's how she perceives it.

 

Anyways, thanks for the read.

 

I don't know what to do. =[

[Eddie Edirol]

Sounds to me like: Shes not letting anger over-rule her logic, Her non logic is deliberate.She knows the rumors arent true. She is making up reasons to break up with you because she wants to start dating someone else. Everything she is accusing you of is her trying to make you unsure because you dont know each other that well. You didnt know to think that she is manipulating you.

 

So you lost this one. Maybe you werent wild enough for her, or maybe you were a rebound, but I think she found someone she wanted to be with more, probably at work, or wherever the wild boys are. When she says youre free to date other people its most likely because she lost her attraction to you and it was switched to someone else.

 

So dont bother looking for her, dont bother telling her how shes wrong, she doesnt care, she is probably with her new guy now. Best thing you can do is forget about her, and if she calls, dont pick up, because she will just play more games with you, when that guy is done with her. Trust me on this.

[pushforward]

Day 2 of NC.

 

So I went out yesterday and got hammered. I left my phone at home so I wouldn't drunk dial her. I also have it on airplane mode so I can't constantly freak out when I get a text thinking it's her.

 

This morning is a little better. It does feel like I had battery acid poured all over my heart. I am still pretty upset over this whole situation that my word isn't good enough and that my character is always in question. I am a person full of integrity and honesty.

 

I'm thinking about packing all her stuff and giving it to her when we're both back to work on Tuesday.

 

I really don't want to play this sick game she's playing. It really does seem like in order to prove my love for her, I have to beg or show her how much I hurt for her. A few key points I want to make when we talk so I can set the record straight.

 

1. I would never intentionally lie to her.

2. I'm sorry that she feels that way.

3. I can't be with someone who will believe gossip and especially when it's coming from her unstable coworkers.

4. I deserve better, I treat her amazing and this is the type of BS that she buys into.

5. I shouldn't always have to defend myself or fight for our relationship. It's not what I want.

6. Wishing her the best.

[pushforward]

Day 3 of NC.

 

She sent me a text at 2AM saying Merry Christmas. Breadcrumbs hah. Ignoring it. I'm riding between the waves of anger and sadness. When we have our talk, I'm definitely going to give her a piece of my mind and put her in her place. I'm done playing these silly games. I'm an amazing person and I know my worth. For me to be treated like this and have my character in question is ridiculous. I've been her support through the toughest points in her life and for her to believe this high school drama is BS.

 

I'm going to pack all her belongings today.

[daphne]

I'm going to pack all her belongings today.

 

Big thumbs up. It's about time you got angry.

[EgoJoe]

You want to set the record straight? Box her stuff up and send it to her with no letter. Don't talk to her and give her the cold shoulder at work.