So who has broke no contact during Christmas? I did.....

[YouNeverKnow86]

Well last night I saw my ex girlfriend's sister and boyfriend so I decided to be the "better person" and went up to them to wish them a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. They were nice, no reason why they shouldn't be. So after that I decided to text my ex: "Merry Christmas and a happy new year to you and your family."

 

The thing is that I don't expect her to respond and she still hasn't. It really just proves how damn cold she really is. Who can't just say Merry Christmas back! Why are dumpers this way? We have been broken up now for 5 months and 2 months complete no contact until this text. I just don't get how cold some people truly are.

 

So has anyone else broke no contact yet on this holiday? Have you too been ignored? Responses?

[smokey bear]

My ex broke nc today, i replied, no merry xmas wishes, just normal breadcrumbs.

 

It frustrates me because he comes to me with me with problems and i have to send him on his way, its hard not to help him, but its his choice im not there anymore.

 

On a breadcrumb note, i asked if we would get back together, he said " i dont know" its progression from 6 months of "no" but its just a breadcrumb, back to nc. Today also for the first time in a long time he told me he loved me.

 

Merry frickin xmas eh?

 

Nc here i come, i welcome you my friend

[BoredAgain]

Nope. Almost four weeks of NC... no attempted communication from either of us.

[69ways]

I did 2 days ago, told she feels strange to be without me and wants to see if I am around her town.

I txt her the next day , just to be ignored so today I am not bothered.

[ZimboGon]

There is no point. I know she won't contact me, and she's probably cozying up to her rebound boyfriend. Perfect time to do that.

[CaliBabe]

No contact from my ex. And I'm not expecting it either. Remember guys, we are broken up from these people and they owe us nothing. Not even decency.

[YouNeverKnow86]

No contact from my ex. And I'm not expecting it either. Remember guys, we are broken up from these people and they owe us nothing. Not even decency.

 

This is true but it says something about a persons true colors/character if you do reach out and wish them a Merry Christmas and they don't respond. I mean I will do the same with the smallest of friends/acquaintances and they will respond. Do they (dumpers) look at us like enemies? I just don't know how you can't respond back with a "Merry Christmas to you too." I mean I would respond back like that for anyone, it just doesn't make sense!

[BoredAgain]

This is true but it says something about a persons true colors/character if you do reach out and wish them a Merry Christmas and they don't respond.

 

I disagree. It seems like there's a tendency for dumpees to assume they know what's going on in their Ex's mind. For all anybody knows, an Ex doesn't respond to a text because he/she breaks down crying at the thought of the relationship. Or, more likely, there's some other confusing emotions there that make it difficult to know how to react to any communication. Or maybe even the explanation is mundane as them losing or breaking their phone.

 

The truth is, you can't know and you may never know. The "they don't care about me" explanation may be psychologically satisfying, but I doubt that it's true in many circumstances.

[YouNeverKnow86]

I disagree. It seems like there's a tendency for dumpees to assume they know what's going on in their Ex's mind. For all anybody knows, an Ex doesn't respond to a text because he/she breaks down crying at the thought of the relationship. Or, more likely, there's some other confusing emotions there that make it difficult to know how to react to any communication. Or maybe even the explanation is mundane as them losing or breaking their phone.

 

The truth is, you can't know and you may never know. The "they don't care about me" explanation may be psychologically satisfying, but I doubt that it's true in many circumstances.

 

So you really think that it is possible for someone not to respond to a simple holiday text because it is too hard for them? I mean I am just putting myself in the dumper shoes, I have been there before. I would always respond back with a simple thank you or something along those lines.

[Melrapuo]

I'd think of it this way.

 

Say you texted "Merry Christmas" and got no response. You would think they are being cold, or just plain ignoring you, so you feel like crap.

 

Say you texted "Merry Christmas" and they said the same back. You would think "well they said it back to me, I have no idea what they're feeling like though!" Then your mind would race, wondering what they're thinking, and you would still feel like crap.

 

Contacting them is a lose/lose situation here, because unless they absolutely break down and want to work things out with you, all it will do is give you more questions to ask yourself. And its just not worth it.

[ScienceGal]

I will not be sending any Merry Christmas messages.

 

If I received one, I would be very tempted to write back "thanks, but who is this?"... I wouldn't write that of course since it would be a lie. I am not sure what I would write, if anything.

 

What do you respond with if you're still hurt and upset?

[YouNeverKnow86]

I'd think of it this way.

 

Say you texted "Merry Christmas" and got no response. You would think they are being cold, or just plain ignoring you, so you feel like crap.

 

Say you texted "Merry Christmas" and they said the same back. You would think "well they said it back to me, I have no idea what they're feeling like though!" Then your mind would race, wondering what they're thinking, and you would still feel like crap.

 

Contacting them is a lose/lose situation here, because unless they absolutely break down and want to work things out with you, all it will do is give you more questions to ask yourself. And its just not worth it.

 

You are right, I was just being the better person here. It's the holidays and I just felt it was the right thing to do. I went into it really thinking she wouldn't respond back but believing she would have the heart to respond. It is what it is..........I saw her sister last night so I am sure she knows about that too.

[YouNeverKnow86]

I will not be sending any Merry Christmas messages.

 

If I received one, I would be very tempted to write back "thanks, but who is this?"... I wouldn't write that of course since it would be a lie. I am not sure what I would write, if anything.

 

What do you respond with if you're still hurt and upset?

 

Maybe she isn't responding to me because she is hurt or upset? I mean she dumped me so she shouldn't be and she was the one that wanted no contact. Either way it is the holidays and I thought I was doing the right thing. Let her deal with ignoring me, if she didn't care she would respond back............So obviously something is bugging her

[ScienceGal]

Maybe she isn't responding to me because she is hurt or upset? I mean she dumped me so she shouldn't be and she was the one that wanted no contact. Either way it is the holidays and I thought I was doing the right thing. Let her deal with ignoring me, if she didn't care she would respond back............So obviously something is bugging her

 

Well I certainly wasn't implying that I know whether she cares or not. People have a number of reasons for doing what they do. No response could mean she cares, but it could also mean she doesn't.

 

You were the civil one in wishing her a Merry Christmas. Now, go back to NC.

[Mileena]

I'm not texting him anything. I want to soooo bad but if he doesn't care enough then why should I show him I care . If he does text me Merry Christmas (which I doubt he will) I know I'm gonna answer back same to u.

[smokey bear]

You done the right thing, you were the bigger person and offered an olive branch. In future if you see her again at least you were nice enough to try and be civil, she will remember that.

[YouNeverKnow86]

You done the right thing, you were the bigger person and offered an olive branch. In future if you see her again at least you were nice enough to try and be civil, she will remember that.

 

 

Smokey thank you, it means a lot. Yeah since the breakup I have ran into her mom and now her sister/boyfriend. Both times I went up to them and was civil; I always felt like it was the right thing to do. I am sure the word has gotten back to my ex on both occasions. I was the dumpee and it would feel great if they came over to me but whatever I guess I am just too nice.

[CaliBabe]

OMG, I was wrong, just got a text from my ex right now saying Merry Christmas and if we can talk sometime. Yikes.

[BardoPond]

Okay so I broke NC but I really didn't mean to. I ran out of credit when I was ringing someone and when I went to send them a text to say I was out of credit I sent it to her by mistake. I'm annoyed because I was determined to not text her this christmas but on the up side while I would have freaked out a few weeks ago and wondered if she'd reply I just laughed and then deleted her number. I think we're making progress here people... Can I be forgiven for the slip up?

[sunflower11]

Why do i feel jealous you guys are getting texts even if its just breadcrumbs? Wish mine would text..im not breaking NC to wish him a merry xmas but i wish he would say it to me

[lilyblue]

Why do i feel jealous you guys are getting texts even if its just breadcrumbs? Wish mine would text..im not breaking NC to wish him a merry xmas but i wish he would say it to me

 

Me too sunflower! I have no hope of him doing it, he just deleted me off fb 2 weeks ago, so clearly is not reaching out anytime soon. But I wish...

[Million.to.1]

I won't receive anything. I wish i would, but i have asked for No contact, and he is respecting that i guess.

It would still be kinda nice to get a breadcrumb though. I don't think it would make me question anything. I'm even wondering if i should send him a txt. I was quite short with him the last couple of times we txted even though he was polite.

 

It's only Xmas morning here in N.Z. You receivers are getting them early!

[Melrapuo]

OMG, I was wrong, just got a text from my ex right now saying Merry Christmas and if we can talk sometime. Yikes.

 

Lol, its a Christmas miracle! I wont lie though, kinda jealous. I know mine isn't going to text or call.

[YouNeverKnow86]

I just wish I didn't have a big heart, I wish I could just be cold like my ex and not even wish her a Merry Christmas like I did. I wonder if she even appreciated it when she read it

[lilyblue]

I would just really like to tell my ex that I miss him and am thinking about him. I know I wouldn't get a response though and that would bother me. But it might be worth it to know he thought about me for at least 2 seconds.