crackster Posted December 24, 2011 Posted December 24, 2011 Ok guys u who no me! if not She ended it left me with a TEXT message after nearly 3 years and said she not love me no more! http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=3609248#post3609248 Any ways its been over 4 month NC and not even seen her one time! weird as i live like 10 min walk from her. any ways i was out last night in a night club and i was on the top floor looking down on to to dance floor and there she is!! my heart stoped! i wanted to leave ! but i thought **** it! its my night out as well... any ways after a few more drinks went past she come up to the top floor with her mate! her mate seen me ran over and hugged me. ( i no her mate) then she come over right next to me and looked right at me i never said out to her i just started to talk to me mates any ways they left to go get another drink... so on 1 hour late i was on the dance floor and she come up to me crying saying am soo sorry am sooo sorry! i always love you thats all she kept saying! over and over again she tried to hug me then she tried to kiss me! i been just starting to date a new girl only been like 3 weeks. and my ex kept saying do u love her? do you love her? i dont want you to be with her! i want u to be with some one that loves u.. this went on for like 20 mins anyways her mate took her home i went home and then she rang me i answered and she kept telling me she loves me and that she sad! i asked Why did you leave? she said am only 20 i want to live my life and that (GIGS!!) but we talked for like 30 mins and talk about every thing we been up to but she kept asking if am happy am i happy with my life and my new gf i said yes any ways we said good bye and she said gd night love you!!!! i cannot believe it! to be honest she was really! drunk so i put it down to that! and i thought that would be it. but i woke up today and she texting me and then she just rang me and we talked more and she kept saying r u happy? and all that what does this mean.. whats should i do??
fificremefarben Posted December 24, 2011 Posted December 24, 2011 I feel that my ex was suffering GIGs too, but I don't feel that well-versed in GIGs that I can write about it. However, something I've noticed from my ex and from reading on here about people with GIGs is that I don't think they're very happy with themselves in general. I think it's all about wanting everything and nothing. A massive internal conflict. So, seeing you again, I'm sure, stirred old feelings and made her sad about what you've lost. I think GIGs are very confused people, so seeing you again made her even more confused, I'm sure. Best just to back off til they know what they want. All the best, and I'm glad you seem to be doing ok x
PlumPrincess Posted December 24, 2011 Posted December 24, 2011 I saw in the other thread that she booked a holiday trip for you guys over 1000 pounds. Is she that affluent to be able to afford such an expensive trip? If she is not, she is probably a financially irresponsible person. I usually try to stay away from these people. She dumped you once per text. You don't want her to do that a second time, right?
Author crackster Posted December 24, 2011 Author Posted December 24, 2011 I saw in the other thread that she booked a holiday trip for you guys over 1000 pounds. Is she that affluent to be able to afford such an expensive trip? If she is not, she is probably a financially irresponsible person. I usually try to stay away from these people. She dumped you once per text. You don't want her to do that a second time, right? She's ok for money really good job. and yes that's true. just all my feelings come back when i seen her ( i never lost them just hid them) and its just really weird i dunno what i should do really. she been with another guy she hold me for 6 weeks and they slept 2geta and he finished her! so i dunno if it just cos its xmas and new year and she alone...
PlumPrincess Posted December 24, 2011 Posted December 24, 2011 She's ok for money really good job. and yes that's true. just all my feelings come back when i seen her ( i never lost them just hid them) and its just really weird i dunno what i should do really. she been with another guy she hold me for 6 weeks and they slept 2geta and he finished her! so i dunno if it just cos its xmas and new year and she alone... Well, you're alone, too! People in love have a lot of compassion for their partner, often forgetting their own situation. If the guy hadn't dumped her, she would be with him now over the holidays and not alone, unlike you. 20 strikes me as awfully young. Give her her current erratic behavior, I'd assume she will do something similar to you again someday in the future. If she loved you, she wouldn't put you through this crazy rollercoaster trip. She would first get an understanding of herself and her feelings and then come back to you. I'd let that one go.
smokey bear Posted December 24, 2011 Posted December 24, 2011 ive had gigs, she wants you back but she will leave again, to return again. She could be back for a week she could be back for 3 years but she will go again in the future for longer. She will return again though. Its your choice
Philosoraptor Posted December 26, 2011 Posted December 26, 2011 Sounds like a lot of that comes out of jealousy. She saw you enjoying yourself and came back. People call it gigs or whatever but it's just not knowing yourself enough. This pattern will continue to happen until she has done enough self exploration. It's a lost cause so just continue to move on with your life for you. But I am concerned for this new girl. Please don't let her get too attached if you are still having to mask your feelings. Don't take anothers heart while your heart is still attached to someone else.
Zabs Posted December 26, 2011 Posted December 26, 2011 I guess it is based on many factors... Jealousy (that you are out appear happy, looking good ..and not weeping in your beer) Memories - History is full of them Holidays - See above Lonliness and hindsight (GIGS) Ne'er a truer word said than "you don't know what you have got until it's gone" What do YOU want? If I were you...I would take time out for myself. She 'did' her thing...so now she has had enough and you are supposed to just run back ever faithful? I don't know what your name is...but it ain't Spot! Take time...and don't rush for the answer...time will present it to you. Much love Zabs xx:cool:
Author crackster Posted December 27, 2011 Author Posted December 27, 2011 Thanks people! Update i asked what was with all i "love you" and trying to kiss me and crying saying am sorry. She text saying that she was just caught up in the moment. and all she wants is to be friends i asked why did you say you loved me still her reply "i was with you for a long time so i do love you in a way" (but she did not say that on the night Say says she happy with things they r and now after 4 month NC and now that i have a new GF that we could just be friends. she told me she checks my FB and still looking at photos of us. ( on the night she seen me ) she told me on that night she is lonely and she really messed up in her head then 2 days later she says she happy and that... she ****ing up my head. i said i cant be friends and then she said that's fine we just leave it and one day we might be.. heard nowt back
Desensitized Posted December 27, 2011 Posted December 27, 2011 she told me on that night she is lonely only reason she contacted you. move on. she will leave you again.
SimonMas Posted December 27, 2011 Posted December 27, 2011 Thanks people! Update i asked what was with all i "love you" and trying to kiss me and crying saying am sorry. She text saying that she was just caught up in the moment. and all she wants is to be friends i asked why did you say you loved me still her reply "i was with you for a long time so i do love you in a way" (but she did not say that on the night Say says she happy with things they r and now after 4 month NC and now that i have a new GF that we could just be friends. she told me she checks my FB and still looking at photos of us. ( on the night she seen me ) she told me on that night she is lonely and she really messed up in her head then 2 days later she says she happy and that... she ****ing up my head. i said i cant be friends and then she said that's fine we just leave it and one day we might be.. heard nowt back Just let it be. From what you described, she appears to be rather confused and doesn’t seem to know what she wants. I say that because she appears to change her mind rather quickly. On one hand, she said that she loves you and wants you to break up with your present gf and on the other she only wants to be friends with you. Furthermore, you know for a fact from her Facebook that she spent time with her bf and his family. I don’t know about you but when a girl has met the guy’s family, I would say the relationship is quite serious. To be honest, I am of the opinion she shouldn’t even contact you or say those things as she already has a bf and is in a LDR. I had something similar to your experience years ago. Perhaps you learn something from it for whatever its worth. I was in a relationship with this girl for 3 years. She broke up with me or to put it simply, she dumped me giving the classic phrase, “I love you but not in love with you”. It hurts like crazy but I didn’t show it in front of her. I learned later that the real reason she broke up with me was because she fell for a colleague who was working in another town about 3 hours away in a branch office. When I heard that, I went NC. In those days, it was quite easy to go on NC because we didn’t have facebook or computers and cell phones were pretty rare. It didn’t take long for me to get my life back in order. Five months later, I bumped into her at the supermarket. She saw me and gave me a long and tight hug. She cried and asked me, “Can we talk?” She asked me a couple of times and I said “Yeah, sure”. I bought her coffee and went to a quiet corner of the shop to talk. She looked into my eyes, held and rubbed my hands while recalling all the happy memories we had…how we met and all the fun times we had. She said she missed me and love me and hope to be together with me. It was rather funny because when she broke up with me, all she could recall were bad memories but when she wanted me back suddenly all the bad memories seemed to just disappear leaving only happy memories! I let her do all the talking and when she finished, I asked her a simple question, “Are you leaving George (her BF)?” She looked stunned and kept quiet. I got my answer right there! I simply told her it wouldn’t be fair to George for her to meet me or even telling me all those wonderful things to me. I told her George deserves someone who he can trust and love and the same goes for her. I told her I will always treasure those happy and wonderful memories we had. Nothing can take that from me but for now she is already with someone and she has already made a decision for herself and I respected that. I gave her a gentle kiss on her head and left. When I left, she was no longer crying but now she was sobbing rather loudly. I felt kinda bad but I knew that was something which I had to do as she was confused and didn’t know what she wanted in her life. Fast forward to 2 months later, I got a call from her. She said she missed me and had given a lot of thoughts to what I have said the other day. She told me she had broken off with George and is ready and will do whatever it takes to get back with me because she now realized that I am truly the one for her. Unknown to her, before I got her call, I actually did a bit of snooping and found out from her other colleagues who were friends of mine that George had actually broken up with her and not the other way round. It could be due to the LDR or other reasons which I did not find out or even bothered to. Why did I snoop? I actually thought there may be a chance there for us but finding that out was the final straw. So, I lied and told her I am already seeing someone and she got mad with me. She said that I have promised I was going to wait for her and she truly loved me and knew that I was the one for her. I didn’t tell her that I knew George broke up with her. I told her I didn’t say I would wait for her as no one can predict what is going to happen in 1 or 2 months down the road. I told her I will have always have good memories of our time together and she will find someone who she will truly love and will love her back and with that I said my final goodbye to her. All I heard from the other end of the phone was her saying “I love you, I love you, I really do” repeatedly. Sorry for the long story but I hope you are able to take something from it.
Author crackster Posted December 27, 2011 Author Posted December 27, 2011 Just let it be. From what you described, she appears to be rather confused and doesn’t seem to know what she wants. I say that because she appears to change her mind rather quickly. On one hand, she said that she loves you and wants you to break up with your present gf and on the other she only wants to be friends with you. Furthermore, you know for a fact from her Facebook that she spent time with her bf and his family. I don’t know about you but when a girl has met the guy’s family, I would say the relationship is quite serious. To be honest, I am of the opinion she shouldn’t even contact you or say those things as she already has a bf and is in a LDR. I had something similar to your experience years ago. Perhaps you learn something from it for whatever its worth. I was in a relationship with this girl for 3 years. She broke up with me or to put it simply, she dumped me giving the classic phrase, “I love you but not in love with you”. It hurts like crazy but I didn’t show it in front of her. I learned later that the real reason she broke up with me was because she fell for a colleague who was working in another town about 3 hours away in a branch office. When I heard that, I went NC. In those days, it was quite easy to go on NC because we didn’t have facebook or computers and cell phones were pretty rare. It didn’t take long for me to get my life back in order. Five months later, I bumped into her at the supermarket. She saw me and gave me a long and tight hug. She cried and asked me, “Can we talk?” She asked me a couple of times and I said “Yeah, sure”. I bought her coffee and went to a quiet corner of the shop to talk. She looked into my eyes, held and rubbed my hands while recalling all the happy memories we had…how we met and all the fun times we had. She said she missed me and love me and hope to be together with me. It was rather funny because when she broke up with me, all she could recall were bad memories but when she wanted me back suddenly all the bad memories seemed to just disappear leaving only happy memories! I let her do all the talking and when she finished, I asked her a simple question, “Are you leaving George (her BF)?” She looked stunned and kept quiet. I got my answer right there! I simply told her it wouldn’t be fair to George for her to meet me or even telling me all those wonderful things to me. I told her George deserves someone who he can trust and love and the same goes for her. I told her I will always treasure those happy and wonderful memories we had. Nothing can take that from me but for now she is already with someone and she has already made a decision for herself and I respected that. I gave her a gentle kiss on her head and left. When I left, she was no longer crying but now she was sobbing rather loudly. I felt kinda bad but I knew that was something which I had to do as she was confused and didn’t know what she wanted in her life. Fast forward to 2 months later, I got a call from her. She said she missed me and had given a lot of thoughts to what I have said the other day. She told me she had broken off with George and is ready and will do whatever it takes to get back with me because she now realized that I am truly the one for her. Unknown to her, before I got her call, I actually did a bit of snooping and found out from her other colleagues who were friends of mine that George had actually broken up with her and not the other way round. It could be due to the LDR or other reasons which I did not find out or even bothered to. Why did I snoop? I actually thought there may be a chance there for us but finding that out was the final straw. So, I lied and told her I am already seeing someone and she got mad with me. She said that I have promised I was going to wait for her and she truly loved me and knew that I was the one for her. I didn’t tell her that I knew George broke up with her. I told her I didn’t say I would wait for her as no one can predict what is going to happen in 1 or 2 months down the road. I told her I will have always have good memories of our time together and she will find someone who she will truly love and will love her back and with that I said my final goodbye to her. All I heard from the other end of the phone was her saying “I love you, I love you, I really do” repeatedly. Sorry for the long story but I hope you are able to take something from it. Thank you for your story! i no what you mean now Sorry i forgot to say she is now single again the lad she was going out with her broke up her after 6 weeks by facebook and thats when she first text me like 4 weeks before this saying she saying sorry trying to right a few wrongs as she no how it feels
PlumPrincess Posted December 27, 2011 Posted December 27, 2011 Fast forward to 2 months later, I got a call from her. She said she missed me and had given a lot of thoughts to what I have said the other day. She told me she had broken off with George and is ready and will do whatever it takes to get back with me because she now realized that I am truly the one for her. Unknown to her, before I got her call, I actually did a bit of snooping and found out from her other colleagues who were friends of mine that George had actually broken up with her and not the other way round. It could be due to the LDR or other reasons which I did not find out or even bothered to. Why did I snoop? I actually thought there may be a chance there for us but finding that out was the final straw. So, I lied and told her I am already seeing someone and she got mad with me. She said that I have promised I was going to wait for her and she truly loved me and knew that I was the one for her. I didn’t tell her that I knew George broke up with her. I told her I didn’t say I would wait for her as no one can predict what is going to happen in 1 or 2 months down the road. I told her I will have always have good memories of our time together and she will find someone who she will truly love and will love her back and with that I said my final goodbye to her. All I heard from the other end of the phone was her saying “I love you, I love you, I really do” repeatedly. Sorry for the long story but I hope you are able to take something from it. Maybe she had told George that she still had feelings for you and that's why he broke up with her.
SimonMas Posted December 27, 2011 Posted December 27, 2011 Maybe she had told George that she still had feelings for you and that's why he broke up with her. I don't mean to hijack Crackster's thread but as a quick reply to your question...you may be right but there was no further response from her during the 2 months preceding her last call to me. I also learned from her colleagues that her relationship with George was still strong until George dumped her. That took place about a week before she made that call to me. Well, anyway that is in the past and there is no point analyzing it now. It is just an experience to share with Crackster and whoever is interested. Just to end this, she did marry another person less than a year after she called me. She had 2 kids with that guy and was married for 4 years before they got divorced.
SimonMas Posted December 29, 2011 Posted December 29, 2011 (edited) Sorry, Crackster….I don’t mean to hijack your thread again but there is some new information which I like to share since my last posting in your thread. It was something that PlumPrincess said which got me thinking….made me curious as well as feeling somewhat guilty. I know I said it was all history now but somehow, I just have to know what actually happened between the ex and George. Since the last posting, I spent the next couple of days trying to track down my old friend Ron. Ron was one of my ex’s former colleague who was feeding me with all the news between the ex and George at that time. Ron is an honest and descent guy. I managed to track Ron down and spoke to him yesterday. We were catching up with each other on the latest and I told him that I have recently given some advice in LS and made reference to the ex. I asked him whether he knew the cause of the breaking up. According to Ron, from what he heard was that the ex told George that she still had feelings for me but at the same time she couldn’t let go of George. She was confused and didn’t know what she wanted. George was tired of her being confused and indecisive so he decided to break up with her. So, in that sense, PlumPrincess was right, the ex had feelings for me but on the other hand, she was still confused as to what she really wanted in her life. I told Ron about her calling me to reconcile. Ron didn’t know about it but after hearing it from me, it made a lot of sense now. Everyone in the office noticed she was really down and depressed (after that call to me.) They thought it had something to do with George. Ron didn’t know that she in fact called me. She tried getting back with George but he didn’t want to have anything to do with her. Her depression got so bad that she quit her job after two weeks. She moved to a new city and it was there she met her husband (ex) and got married and has 2 kids. Apparently, they got a divorce after 4 years because she had an affair with a guy from her workplace. Her husband found out and got a divorce. The ex did not marry the OM. Ron bumped into her at the mall about a year ago when she came back to visit her parents. She did not remarry and is a single mom. They talked about the old times and according to Ron, she enquired about me and still talked fondly about our times together. Ron told her that he has not spoken to me for a very long time which is true. She told Ron that she saw my picture and read about me in some magazine sometime ago and she was very happy for me. From the way she spoke, Ron felt that she still have feelings for me. Well, that’s all the information I have. Sorry, Crackster for hijacking your thread again! Edited December 29, 2011 by SimonMas
wilsonx Posted December 29, 2011 Posted December 29, 2011 Thanks people! Update i asked what was with all i "love you" and trying to kiss me and crying saying am sorry. She text saying that she was just caught up in the moment. and all she wants is to be friends i asked why did you say you loved me still her reply "i was with you for a long time so i do love you in a way" (but she did not say that on the night Say says she happy with things they r and now after 4 month NC and now that i have a new GF that we could just be friends. she told me she checks my FB and still looking at photos of us. ( on the night she seen me ) she told me on that night she is lonely and she really messed up in her head then 2 days later she says she happy and that... she ****ing up my head. i said i cant be friends and then she said that's fine we just leave it and one day we might be.. heard nowt back Anything that comes out of a GIGS persons' mouth is hot air.... Actions Speak Louder Than Words
PlumPrincess Posted December 29, 2011 Posted December 29, 2011 Sorry, Crackster….I don’t mean to hijack your thread again but there is some new information which I like to share since my last posting in your thread. It was something that PlumPrincess said which got me thinking….made me curious as well as feeling somewhat guilty. I know I said it was all history now but somehow, I just have to know what actually happened between the ex and George. Since the last posting, I spent the next couple of days trying to track down my old friend Ron. Ron was one of my ex’s former colleague who was feeding me with all the news between the ex and George at that time. Ron is an honest and descent guy. I managed to track Ron down and spoke to him yesterday. We were catching up with each other on the latest and I told him that I have recently given some advice in LS and made reference to the ex. I asked him whether he knew the cause of the breaking up. According to Ron, from what he heard was that the ex told George that she still had feelings for me but at the same time she couldn’t let go of George. She was confused and didn’t know what she wanted. George was tired of her being confused and indecisive so he decided to break up with her. So, in that sense, PlumPrincess was right, the ex had feelings for me but on the other hand, she was still confused as to what she really wanted in her life. I told Ron about her calling me to reconcile. Ron didn’t know about it but after hearing it from me, it made a lot of sense now. Everyone in the office noticed she was really down and depressed (after that call to me.) They thought it had something to do with George. Ron didn’t know that she in fact called me. She tried getting back with George but he didn’t want to have anything to do with her. Her depression got so bad that she quit her job after two weeks. She moved to a new city and it was there she met her husband (ex) and got married and has 2 kids. Apparently, they got a divorce after 4 years because she had an affair with a guy from her workplace. Her husband found out and got a divorce. The ex did not marry the OM. Ron bumped into her at the mall about a year ago when she came back to visit her parents. She did not remarry and is a single mom. They talked about the old times and according to Ron, she enquired about me and still talked fondly about our times together. Ron told her that he has not spoken to me for a very long time which is true. She told Ron that she saw my picture and read about me in some magazine sometime ago and she was very happy for me. From the way she spoke, Ron felt that she still have feelings for me. Well, that’s all the information I have. Sorry, Crackster for hijacking your thread again! Simon, I love the fact that you are as inquisitive as I am and really managed to get the complete picture. And that you reported back to us.
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