How do I not be single this time next year?

[Dust]

Work in yourself and be happy before you try and get a date . Make this year about you . If a guy is confident , has talent and is charming then he is attractive . But I know this is shallow but if a guy does not look after his body it's a turnoff . Makes me thick he does not take care of much in his life . You don't have to look like Ryan gosling . I do wasn't attracted to my ex at first but now I think he was the sexiest man . Get your life in order first honey x

 

He just needs to start giving regular updates about how he actually went out and had fun with people including girls. He needs to actually get sexually attracted to a girl in person instead of an after thought when she isn't even around or some prono girl.

 

Somedude is way better looking then Ryan Gosling by the way. Somedude should take a trip to do out back would you acompany him? They say camping is a great place to get a woman...

[Els]

Exactly.

 

I mentioned this before in my reply to SilverLining. If I'm asking out a girl within 20 minutes of meeting her; I would only do so because she's hot and I'd want to sleep with her. I simply would not know enough about her to want anything more.

 

Then a woman should know that men who ask her out without knowing who she is are only doing so because they want sex. When I realize that, I can't think of any reason why a woman would accept a date from a guy she doesn't know, unless she likes to have casual sex.

 

So no, I'm not going to ask out 20 girls a month. I'm going to bring that down to a much more manageable two girls a month, which is still more frequent than I have been doing.

 

Well, to be fair, there are indeed women who really don't mind you asking them out after 20m of meeting, even if I am not one of them. Some of the women who chimed in in your thread are proof of that. So hey, if you want to give it a try, why not.

 

Your plan (the bolded) sounds good to me, also.

 

Does courting actually have a chance for working?

 

While I don't want to say it because I think I'm at sole fault for anything that goes wrong; the reason I couldn't get the last girl, was because she was simply not interested in dating. I don't think anybody short of Solid Snake could have gotten her. I was fighting a battle that I never had a chance of winning. So I wonder if I was trying to get a girl that wasn't closed off to the idea of relationships, that I might have had a chance.

 

Courting does have a chance of working when there is still a possibility of the girl being interested. Otherwise, no, not really. Usually the reason doesn't matter - if they give you a solid and clear no, you should stop trying. There is little point bashing your head against a brick wall. Give it your best shot, but know when to call it quits after.

 

I have girls I call 'friends' but aren't really... they're more like acquaintances. Some of them have shown interest in me and have encouraged me to reciprocate but I am not attracted to them. These girls are usually friends of friends and I never ask out friends of friends since I had one nasty incident where the girl told EVERYONE every detail of what she thought and what I did. If I were to ever ask out one of these girls, I would take your approach with them since it's almost guaranteed that I would see them again and can develop a rapport and learn more about them.

 

If it's a girl that catches my eye randomly somewhere, I have no choice but to cold approach her. Sure there's no way of determining whether we're compatible but at least I give it a chance.

 

 

Oh, you completely disqualify girls with whom you have mutual friends? I mean, I can see the reasoning behind it, but personally it sounds like you're cutting off a huge potential pool there, no offense. Every single guy I've been with, I've had mutual friends with. Sure, there was some awkwardness after a breakup, but decent people don't usually throw the dirt on you to their friends, and I think the risk is worth it IMO.

[counterman]

 

Oh, you completely disqualify girls with whom you have mutual friends? I mean, I can see the reasoning behind it, but personally it sounds like you're cutting off a huge potential pool there, no offense. Every single guy I've been with, I've had mutual friends with. Sure, there was some awkwardness after a breakup, but decent people don't usually throw the dirt on you to their friends, and I think the risk is worth it IMO.

 

No offense taken I guess I wouldn't completely disqualify them... if I really get along with her and we're compatible and I'm attracted to her, then I would take the risk. If it's anything otherwise, I wouldn't. It's definitely a huge potential pool, but from my experience so far, there's been few girls whom I have mutual friends with that I was attracted to, though some were interested in me. The one I did ask out told all my friends what I said and everything and some of my friends, being immature, made fun of me -- it did make it momentarily awkward. But I shouldn't let one bad experience disqualify a whole dating pool. Also, I guess it gives me a chance to see what she is really like, what she's interested in and how she is in general without having a date.

[Buttercup84]

He just needs to start giving regular updates about how he actually went out and had fun with people including girls. He needs to actually get sexually attracted to a girl in person instead of an after thought when she isn't even around or some prono girl.

 

Somedude is way better looking then Ryan Gosling by the way. Somedude should take a trip to do out back would you acompany him? They say camping is a great place to get a woman...

 

Haha , I've never been to the outback , but yes if he came to Australia and stayed in a backpackers he'd get lucky .

[Buttercup84]

Ok I stalked your posts and you say you love salsa dancing ? Uhm .. hello ? women love men who can dance . Go to classes or go to some clubs with friends . Get a job at a salsa club or something on weekends .

 

And don't hate your culture . Be proud of it and flaunt it ! you say you don't look Cuban but learn Spanish , you might meet girls through there as well .

 

I date a few guys from Cuba who were your height and loved it that they took me out dancing .

 

 

Play a girl some Cuban music , cook something Cuban and dance with her . Hot .

[Dust]

Ok I stalked your posts and you say you love salsa dancing ? Uhm .. hello ? women love men who can dance . Go to classes or go to some clubs with friends . Get a job at a salsa club or something on weekends .

 

And don't hate your culture . Be proud of it and flaunt it ! you say you don't look Cuban but learn Spanish , you might meet girls through there as well .

 

I date a few guys from Cuba who were your height and loved it that they took me out dancing .

 

 

Play a girl some Cuban music , cook something Cuban and dance with her . Hot .

 

Outside the class Somedude probably never asked a girl to dance... but yes he should!

[carhill]

Outside the class Somedude probably never asked a girl to dance... but yes he should!

If true, that just sounds so, well, wrong. One has a skill which women generally love and purposely avoids sharing it with them. Who is he going to dance with anyway? Men? Himself? Barnyard animals?

 

I'll bet if he went out once a week and asked at least one woman to dance, he'd be 'taken' within a year. Fuggetabout asking her out. Just dance.

 

Crap, now I have to pull out the Chita Rivera tapes again

[jobaba]

Work in yourself and be happy before you try and get a date . Make this year about you . If a guy is confident , has talent and is charming then he is attractive . But I know this is shallow but if a guy does not look after his body it's a turnoff . Makes me thick he does not take care of much in his life . You don't have to look like Ryan gosling . I do wasn't attracted to my ex at first but now I think he was the sexiest man . Get your life in order first honey x

 

In my experience, the women I knew grew more attractive to me based on their personal attributes and they rejected me because I wasn't physically attractive enough. I squarely believe women are more shallow than men. Though men are pretty shallow in their own right. But the point is he can have a GF today. He just has to go through the women who will reject him based on physical appearance to get to one that will give him a chance.

 

So ... there's no sense in SD holding off anything. He's got his life in pretty good order, he just needs a GF.

[Imageiko]

Work in yourself and be happy before you try and get a date . Make this year about you . If a guy is confident , has talent and is charming then he is attractive . But I know this is shallow but if a guy does not look after his body it's a turnoff . Makes me thick he does not take care of much in his life . You don't have to look like Ryan gosling . I do wasn't attracted to my ex at first but now I think he was the sexiest man . Get your life in order first honey x

 

Sadly as many times as he gets this advice he doesn't believe it...

 

He thinks he can fake it or that girls don't notice his negative outlook at attitude. But after all these years of no success it can't be the attitude right? It's gotta be something else...

[PlumPrincess]

Somedude is way better looking then Ryan Gosling by the way.

Whaaaat? Now I want to see a picture, too!

[Dust]

If true, that just sounds so, well, wrong. One has a skill which women generally love and purposely avoids sharing it with them. Who is he going to dance with anyway? Men? Himself? Barnyard animals?

 

I'll bet if he went out once a week and asked at least one woman to dance, he'd be 'taken' within a year. Fuggetabout asking her out. Just dance.

 

Crap, now I have to pull out the Chita Rivera tapes again

 

How could it not be true. I mean I'm just guessing but I'm probably right. I'd be shocked if Somedude81 ever asked a girl to dance outside his dance class.

 

Whaaaat? Now I want to see a picture, too!

 

Have we ever seen yours? I've always wondered what a PlumPrincess looks like...

[PlumPrincess]

Have we ever seen yours? I've always wondered what a PlumPrincess looks like...

No, but I never whine how unattractive I am. I don't need confirmation from you guys that I am attractive.

[Dust]

No, but I never whine how unattractive I am. I don't need confirmation from you guys that I am attractive.

 

None the less I'm still curious to know what the Plum Princess looks like. Somedude81's problems arn't in the way he looks. For Christs Sake mr. "how do I not be single" got the girl he liked back to his place just him and her to "watch movies" and "play games!" What did he do... just watched movies and played games... I doubt he so much as tried to hold her hand. He expected a girl he liked who he guessed had never been with a man to just start making out with him I guess... So no looks arn't his problems.

[PlumPrincess]

None the less I'm still curious to know what the Plum Princess looks like.

Someone told me recently that according to my pictures I was above-average cute (and not fat )

[somedude81]

I know I sound very negative when I post here and I am because I feel at my lowest when I'm sitting at my desk. But when I'm out with people, especially girls, I'm not down at all. I love being around and talking to girls. So I really don't think that anybody has gotten the impression that I'm unhappy.

For some reason, I just don't think it's necessary to be a super happy guy to get a girl.

 

Either way, trying to become happy while single seems to be about just as hard as getting a girl. Frankly, I'd rather work on getting what I want instead of learning how to cope without it.

 

One day, you will understand why this does not make you attractive to women.

I don't understand what you mean. What is not attractive?

You think things like your height are a problem. They're not, it's your attitude. There is this guy I met online who is 5'6". If he were here, I'd definitely go out on a date with him, because I really enjoy our conversations.

You don't know anything about my not online attitude. I swear I'm not this neagative in person. Of course there is no way you can believe me because this is all you see.

 

As for the 5'6 thing, you didn't meet the guy in person first, or at all it seems. It's different when a woman gets to know a guy online, without actually being with him.

 

I'd say, that if you meet the online guy in person first, you would not want to go out with him just because you set up an automatic negative impression based on his appearance.

Talking to someone for 20 minutes is enough time to decide if you want to get to know them better. That's why you go on dates. I don't see how asking her out after a brief conversation means you only want sex. It means you want to get to know her better.

 

Why would you talk to someone for a reasonable amount and not ask them out if you enjoyed the conversation? Depending on the situation, you may never see them again.

In all honesty, it's going to be very difficult to have a real 20 minute conversation with somebody I just met. Frankly, it seems impossible.

 

I much prefer to have a few shorter conversations then I ask them out. Though is that what I'm doing wrong?

 

 

 

You need to start going out and socializing. Is there a cool, low key bar near your house? You need to start talking to women even if you don't plan to ask them out. You have to get comfortable having conversations with new people.

 

Things you should do: online dating and going out at night. Are you willing to do these?

No I don't go out at night. There are no bars within walking distance of my place and parking late at night is horrible at my apartment.

 

Just a thought, what time do people actually show up to bars?

 

I have an OLD profile on a couple of sites but I don't use them. I am going to get more active there, but I really don't have any hope.

Work in yourself and be happy before you try and get a date . Make this year about you . If a guy is confident , has talent and is charming then he is attractive . But I know this is shallow but if a guy does not look after his body it's a turnoff . Makes me thick he does not take care of much in his life . You don't have to look like Ryan gosling . I do wasn't attracted to my ex at first but now I think he was the sexiest man . Get your life in order first honey x

My life is fine. I got a job, finishing up my college degree, stay entertained. The only thing I'm not happy about is that I'm single. So it's a catch 22.

 

I do look after my body, though I could do more. I'm only average in looks with below average height.

If true, that just sounds so, well, wrong. One has a skill which women generally love and purposely avoids sharing it with them. Who is he going to dance with anyway? Men? Himself? Barnyard animals?

 

I'll bet if he went out once a week and asked at least one woman to dance, he'd be 'taken' within a year. Fuggetabout asking her out. Just dance.

 

Crap, now I have to pull out the Chita Rivera tapes again

Of course I've asked girls to dance at clubs.

 

Unfortunately, going to salsa clubs is very boring because there are roughly three times as many men there as women. I don't enjoy waiting in line to get a dance.

Sadly as many times as he gets this advice he doesn't believe it...

 

He thinks he can fake it or that girls don't notice his negative outlook at attitude. But after all these years of no success it can't be the attitude right? It's gotta be something else...

So you think I'm flirting just fine, asking out girls at exactly the right time and know precisely when to make moves?

 

 

Somedude is way better looking then Ryan Gosling by the way.

 

Whaaaat? Now I want to see a picture, too!

Nothing Dust says can be taken literally. I'm just an average looking short dude.

 

Though I can send you a picture of me in a PM if you want. It's the most recent one of me I have, but it's also got my latest recent failed crush in it but I don't feel like cropping her out yet

[Dust]

 

Nothing Dust says can be taken literally. I'm just an average looking short dude.

 

Though I can send you a picture of me in a PM if you want. It's the most recent one of me I have, but it's also got my latest recent failed crush in it but I don't feel like cropping her out yet

 

You should take everything I say literally. You really think Ryan is better looking then you. C'mon chump. Next you'll be telling me the Jonas brothers are all better looking then you...

[PlumPrincess]

I don't understand what you mean. What is not attractive?

You don't know anything about my not online attitude. I swear I'm not this neagative in person. Of course there is no way you can believe me because this is all you see.

You can't hide your attitude. I already told you.

 

As for the 5'6 thing, you didn't meet the guy in person first, or at all it seems. It's different when a woman gets to know a guy online, without actually being with him.

 

I'd say, that if you meet the online guy in person first, you would not want to go out with him just because you set up an automatic negative impression based on his appearance.

Actually, I had asked another guy out who was also just 5'6". And I had a crush on one of my roommates once. He was also just around 5'6". And I once had a crush on a guy who probably must have been around 5'. Maybe you need to stop making excuses about everything all the time.

 

No I don't go out at night. There are no bars within walking distance of my place and parking late at night is horrible at my apartment.

 

Just a thought, what time do people actually show up to bars?

Then move to a more interesting place. Or think and come up with another solution.

 

Unfortunately, going to salsa clubs is very boring because there are roughly three times as many men there as women. I don't enjoy waiting in line to get a dance.

I used to dance salsa and I know if a guy is a good dancer, the girls will line up to dance with him. And since your next excuse will be to say that for men it's more difficult than for women, let me tell you, men don't like dancing with women who are not good at dancing either. I've been there and I also got my share of rejections. You have here a good chance to meet nice girls if you put in some effort, so do it instead of whining. And yes, when I got better, I got more dances.

[Ross MwcFan]

None the less I'm still curious to know what the Plum Princess looks like. Somedude81's problems arn't in the way he looks. For Christs Sake mr. "how do I not be single" got the girl he liked back to his place just him and her to "watch movies" and "play games!" What did he do... just watched movies and played games... I doubt he so much as tried to hold her hand. He expected a girl he liked who he guessed had never been with a man to just start making out with him I guess... So no looks arn't his problems.

 

Maybe the right situation for where that would've been appropriate never happened. You can't expect him to just randomly lunge at a friend who is at his house, or grab her hand.

[somedude81]

You can't hide your attitude. I already told you.

Heh, I really wish I could walk around with a hidden camera team and record how I interact with people.

 

It's just too bad I haven't met anybody from LS who could describe how I come across in person.

 

Actually, I had asked another guy out who was also just 5'6". And I had a crush on one of my roommates once. He was also just around 5'6". And I once had a crush on a guy who probably must have been around 5'. Maybe you need to stop making excuses about everything all the time.

OK then, so you are not a heightest.

 

So you seen how I look, if I met you, talked to you for a few minutes, and came across as pleasant and slightly humorous, then asked you out, would you accept? Assuming of course that you were single at the time and had not seen my posts here. It would be our first interaction.

 

 

I used to dance salsa and I know if a guy is a good dancer, the girls will line up to dance with him. And since your next excuse will be to say that for men it's more difficult than for women, let me tell you, men don't like dancing with women who are not good at dancing either. I've been there and I also got my share of rejections. You have here a good chance to meet nice girls if you put in some effort, so do it instead of whining. And yes, when I got better, I got more dances.

I'm just an OK dancer. I don't get to practice outside of class because I don't have a partner and learning in clubs isn't really possible.

 

You are right that I don't like dancing with girls who are bad. But most women are decent enough to be led, though the best ones can anticipate what I want to do.

 

And yes, dancing salsa is much harder for men than women. I shouldn't have to explain why.

 

None the less I'm still curious to know what the Plum Princess looks like. Somedude81's problems arn't in the way he looks. For Christs Sake mr. "how do I not be single" got the girl he liked back to his place just him and her to "watch movies" and "play games!" What did he do... just watched movies and played games... I doubt he so much as tried to hold her hand. He expected a girl he liked who he guessed had never been with a man to just start making out with him I guess... So no looks arn't his problems.

 

Maybe the right situation for where that would've been appropriate never happened. You can't expect him to just randomly lunge at a friend who is at his house, or grab her hand.

LOL, that girl wouldn't even let me give her a hug.

 

If I tried to kiss her when she was at my place she would have yelled at me, maybe punched me then, refuse to ever see me again.

[Red Arremer]

Okay, so not to defend SD *too* much here, but sometimes when a girl comes over to "watch movies" or "play games" that's really all it is. I was at a girl's house for movies once and went in to make a move and got shot down. That is definitely up there in my top 5 awkward moments. I have had a girl over with no expectations or anything else beyond just games/movies at other points too.

[Ross MwcFan]

Okay, so not to defend SD *too* much here, but sometimes when a girl comes over to "watch movies" or "play games" that's really all it is. I was at a girl's house for movies once and went in to make a move and got shot down. That is definitely up there in my top 5 awkward moments. I have had a girl over with no expectations or anything else beyond just games/movies at other points too.

 

And is this where something like kissing or whatever, happened?

[ThaWholigan]

LOL, that girl wouldn't even let me give her a hug.

 

If I tried to kiss her when she was at my place she would have yelled at me, maybe punched me then, refuse to ever see me again.

 

That's stupid. If I were you, I wouldn't even invite that girl back to my house, if she can't even hug me, what the hell is she doing in my yard?

 

Even on a friendly level......wow. Any girl that behaves like that with me is a turn off. Even the girl I liked on her worst behavior was never like that.

[Red Arremer]

And is this where something like kissing or whatever, happened?

 

No, nothing happened. That's what I'm getting at, that this sort of thing is possible and does happen.

[somedude81]

That's stupid. If I were you, I wouldn't even invite that girl back to my house, if she can't even hug me, what the hell is she doing in my yard?

 

Even on a friendly level......wow. Any girl that behaves like that with me is a turn off. Even the girl I liked on her worst behavior was never like that.

She had issues; which I was starting to forget.

 

It's amazing how I was starting to focus on only the things I did and believe that the reason we didn't get together was all about things I did or didn't do. But no, she had a whole bunch of things going on that were messing things up.

 

Hell, she told me that she wished she had been born a guy instead. It's no real shock that she didn't want to date me, or anybody. And no, she wasn't gay.

[ThaWholigan]

She had issues; which I was starting to forget.

 

It's amazing how I was starting to focus on only the things I did and believe that the reason we didn't get together was all about things I did or didn't do. But no, she had a whole bunch of things going on that were messing things up.

 

Hell, she told me that she wished she had been born a guy instead. It's no real shock that she didn't want to date me, or anybody. And no, she wasn't gay.

 

That's tough fam. Honestly though, I wouldn't have let her in my house . Sometimes, it really isn't about what you're doing, it's about her. And at that point you have to decide what to do, and how you will handle that particular scenario. I would opt out.