fivefive Posted December 22, 2011 Posted December 22, 2011 Hey all, Haven't posted on here in a while, but I needed some answers. The person that I am "talking" to, has just recently broken up with her boyfriend. They broke up, maybe, a few weeks ago. To my understanding, they only dated for a few months. She broke up with him. As the semester came to a close, we started getting feelings for each other, and she admitted she had a crush on me. I felt the same way. We're both on Xmas Break right now, and we've been communicating daily. I called her yesterday to only find out that she went to breakfast with him. I shook it off and never acknowledged the fact, but deep down it really bothered me. If she broke up with him, why would she go to breakfast with him? I feel that when you go to breakfast with an ex, you're looking for a "pleasant, casual" way to try to work things out again. Should I be worried? How should I approach this? I've been through this before and I cannot be the shoulder to cry on or the "friend".
bean1 Posted December 22, 2011 Posted December 22, 2011 This is a monkey girl. Doesn't let go of one branch until she has a hold on another. She is swinging back & forth between branches - don't waste your time. You'll get conflicting opinions - some people will tell you it's fine.That's for you to decide. I personally wouldn't waste my time with a person who was still uber friendly with their recent ex.
ditzchic Posted December 22, 2011 Posted December 22, 2011 Back off. You don't hve to stop talking to her completely but don't get caught up in her right now. Anyone who is keeping that close of contact with a recent ex is not ready for something serious. Friends with exes isn't always a problem but I find the chances of it being a problem is when that ex is an ancient history ex. We are talking years. Not days or months. Even if she has no feelings for him, he may for her and that will lead to confusion all around for her. You don't need to be a part of that. Give this a lot of time. Maybe she will come around to you and stop the contact with the ex or maybe she won't. But you worry about you right now.
Author fivefive Posted December 22, 2011 Author Posted December 22, 2011 I feel that an ex is an ex for a reason and a "casual" breakfast with an ex is something I definitely should not take lightly. I wanna talk to her about it, but I hate getting into all that stuff. I don't know their history or what they got into or even the specifics on why it ended. I feel that an ex should not be contacted again, and the only reason you'd contact an ex is because there's still some lingering feelings.
ditzchic Posted December 22, 2011 Posted December 22, 2011 I feel that an ex is an ex for a reason and a "casual" breakfast with an ex is something I definitely should not take lightly. I wanna talk to her about it, but I hate getting into all that stuff. I don't know their history or what they got into or even the specifics on why it ended. I feel that an ex should not be contacted again, and the only reason you'd contact an ex is because there's still some lingering feelings. You are only in the "talking" stages. Don't talk to her about this. Just move on for now. It's really none of your business why she is talking to her ex at this point. Bringing it up will most definitely push her away. Either because she thinks you are trying to pry, trying to control her, or just plain asking her things that aren't any of your business. Realize that this isn't meant to happen for the two of you right now and go about your business. In the future, when she is good and over her ex, try again if you want.
Author fivefive Posted December 22, 2011 Author Posted December 22, 2011 You are only in the "talking" stages. Don't talk to her about this. Just move on for now. It's really none of your business why she is talking to her ex at this point. Bringing it up will most definitely push her away. Either because she thinks you are trying to pry, trying to control her, or just plain asking her things that aren't any of your business. Realize that this isn't meant to happen for the two of you right now and go about your business. In the future, when she is good and over her ex, try again if you want. Yeah I feel where you are coming from but I really like this girl and I feel that there would be something to build on with her. We are on Xmas Break and are "talking" but before I left she told me that she had a crush on me and that she's been wanting to tell me for a while. We won't be able to see each other for a month and I feel that by keeping contact w her over break, I'll have something to build on when we do get back to school.
xpaperxcutx Posted December 23, 2011 Posted December 23, 2011 Yeah I feel where you are coming from but I really like this girl and I feel that there would be something to build on with her. We are on Xmas Break and are "talking" but before I left she told me that she had a crush on me and that she's been wanting to tell me for a while. We won't be able to see each other for a month and I feel that by keeping contact w her over break, I'll have something to build on when we do get back to school. It's great to keep in contact, but texting and phone calls can be a miss if there isn't an emotional attachment to keep things going. As far as the ex is concerned, I'd be a little wary. I'm sure she is a great gal, but anything that has the ex in the picture is not a good sign. Chances are she still is attached to the ex and hasn't completely moved on.
Author fivefive Posted December 23, 2011 Author Posted December 23, 2011 So should I stop contacting her and see how she reacts?
Lobouspo Posted December 23, 2011 Posted December 23, 2011 I would just play it cool, but not neccessarily end contact completely. This is a tough one because obviously you have feelings but like previous post indicated you are in no position to question her about this. Dont put all your eggs in one basket for sure. You are out of school, hang out with friends and definitely be open to meeting other people right now
Author fivefive Posted December 23, 2011 Author Posted December 23, 2011 Ok, great advice guys thanks. I'm gonna play it cool, not initiate the texts. I think that's one of my biggest problems, is putting all my eggs in one basket. I need to meet other people haha
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