MrSimple Posted December 22, 2011 Posted December 22, 2011 Righto guys, still currently in NC with my ex. But I've discovered that she has been dumped by her rebound, if I'm not wrong yesterday. This is my chance to move back! The problem is, is it too early? Coz everything on her mind now is just the rebound, rebound and more on the rebound. How do I move in without her suspecting too much? Need help in rekindling the flame, do advise me guys!
smudge21 Posted December 22, 2011 Posted December 22, 2011 You looking to rekindle that feeling of being dumped again too?
Author MrSimple Posted December 22, 2011 Author Posted December 22, 2011 As in, how to rekindle the sparks between us again? I know it is too early to do anything now. Nothing will change for sure.
smokey bear Posted December 22, 2011 Posted December 22, 2011 Righto guys, still currently in NC with my ex. But I've discovered that she has been dumped by her rebound, if I'm not wrong yesterday. This is my chance to move back! The problem is, is it too early? Coz everything on her mind now is just the rebound, rebound and more on the rebound. How do I move in without her suspecting too much? Need help in rekindling the flame, do advise me guys! yes its too early, it could just be a fight and they could get back tomorrow, she's going to be hurting for a weeks if you take her back now you'll be the rebound to her rebound. stick nc until she reaches, when she reaches out listen to what she's aying if she mentions rebound and she's hurt, back away for a few wekks im proud you managed to stick nc
Author MrSimple Posted December 22, 2011 Author Posted December 22, 2011 Smokey: Thanks! It's all thanks to my willpower becoming stronger after everything that has happened~ Although I'm wondering, is it okay to send her a christmas greeting on christmas itself?
smokey bear Posted December 22, 2011 Posted December 22, 2011 Smokey: Thanks! It's all thanks to my willpower becoming stronger after everything that has happened~ Although I'm wondering, is it okay to send her a christmas greeting on christmas itself? Yes a christmas card would be nice, and a new year txt message, just the basics, happy holidays nothing more
Author MrSimple Posted December 22, 2011 Author Posted December 22, 2011 Sweet! Thank you so much! You have been a really great help! ^^
Author MrSimple Posted December 24, 2011 Author Posted December 24, 2011 Ahh, memories are rushing back into my head. Coz it was on Christmas Eve that she told me she starting having feelings for me when we were dating. I don't think sending a msg consisting of "love you, miss you" will make her want me back, but I really hope I can send the message. Made me wish if she is thinking about the same thing as well. Sorry guys, getting a little emotional here.
Author MrSimple Posted December 26, 2011 Author Posted December 26, 2011 She responded to my christmas greeting~ Do I try to strike a convo with her, or leave it until after new year?
Kamila Posted December 27, 2011 Posted December 27, 2011 So there's nothing like an innocent X-mas text message from the ex ? Reminds me of when my ex sent me messages for every event possible. I just wished he could have been more upfront about his feelings and stop hiding behind every text message. Oh well, can't turn back time now... Maybe those were just friendly texts. Well if you've got something to say to her, don't wait.
Author MrSimple Posted January 3, 2012 Author Posted January 3, 2012 Okay, I managed to get a hand-written card over to her. She msged me asking me if we could remain friends, coz she claims she cannot go back to "last time". I told her firmly but gently that we cannot be friends, as I cannot view her as "just a friend" Appears she is really confused. Looks like nothing much i say now will help. Leave her be for awhile?
kkay Posted January 3, 2012 Posted January 3, 2012 Mr Simple - I definitely think you should let her be for awhile. At this point it doesn't matter what you do. If she is not ready to look at things with a clear head you will end up broken hearted again. As hard as it is, time and space are a relationships best friend...
Author MrSimple Posted January 3, 2012 Author Posted January 3, 2012 kkay: I agree. Her defenses are very strong at this point of time. Have to wait for her to reach out to me instead of me reaching out.
kkay Posted January 3, 2012 Posted January 3, 2012 Mr.S, By no means am I a success story but I am starting to see the rewards of the work I have done for myself/the time apart and LC my ex and I have had. When he decided to leave me and move out it was like a bomb went off and I could tell he was basically having a nervous breakdown. I freaked for about 2 weeks but eventually accepted his mental state as I knew that me pushing and prodding for my own selfish desires was not going to bring him back. Everyday I would stare at my phone, religiously check my emails and scour this site for any information I could regarding reconciliation. After 4 months of a silent, personal hell, the gates of communication are opening, albeit slowly, they are opening. After 4 months, we got together, had a normal conversation and I opened up as to how I FAILED HIM and our relationship. Don't get me wrong - he failed us too but it is not the time to place blame and point fingers. Counseling has been a godsend to me. Giving him time, space and being utterly honest with myself and him was difficult but after 2 weeks, HE reached out to ME! His guard is no longer up and he talks to me like a person in a normal mental state. We'll see what happens over the next month but again, I'm taking this with a grain of salt and moving forward slowly, very slowly. I can't say that your ex is in the same situation but just remember - even though we feel the pain of rejection, they are still mourning the loss too. It's easy to put the entire blame on them but space, self reflection and growth are the only things that are going to help you move forward and possibly get her back....
Author MrSimple Posted January 4, 2012 Author Posted January 4, 2012 kkay: You are living proof that NC does work no matter what. I've done it as well, and I have seen a fair amount of results. Her rebound broke up with her without me doing anything(frankly, I knew it wasn't going to work out) Now she's in my shoes, going after the person while I'm going after her. Pretty ironic, don't you think? It's going to take a while for it to settle down that the rebound lost interest in her because they did not have anything firm to start off with, so once the foundation crumbles, it crumbles to nothing. I've no idea how long it will take, but I know it will happen. Maybe by then, she has started thinking more about me(Jan was when I confessed to her and I made a day in Jan very special for both of us, as it links both our birthdates. Memories that only both of us have) Maybe they will tug at her heart strings? Who knows~ Here's where our history come into play. I'm pretty sure she will rmb them. Should I post something related to the dates but in a way that only both of us know?
Author MrSimple Posted January 4, 2012 Author Posted January 4, 2012 Also, the last msg I sent to her was about my intention of helping her and wanting to be her support. She went silent after that, so now I'm wondering, did i make a mistake in sending that msg? =x I read that it is best to totally exit their life to maximise the chances of getting back tgt, but if i were to send another msg saying I wish her all the best and take care, I think I'm just going to confuse her even more. I'm back to NC. How should I approach the situation? Please advise, thank you!
CaliGuy Posted January 5, 2012 Posted January 5, 2012 Also, the last msg I sent to her was about my intention of helping her and wanting to be her support. She went silent after that, so now I'm wondering, did i make a mistake in sending that msg? =x I read that it is best to totally exit their life to maximise the chances of getting back tgt, but if i were to send another msg saying I wish her all the best and take care, I think I'm just going to confuse her even more. I'm back to NC. How should I approach the situation? Please advise, thank you! If you're a dumpee the LAST thing you should do is contact your ex and offer help and support. They don't want either. If they did they would contact YOU. Read my thread on No Contact and Second Chances. All you need to know is there.
Author MrSimple Posted January 7, 2012 Author Posted January 7, 2012 Hmmm~ A day after i decided to completely stop things with her, her rebound suddenly contacted me and asked me to contact him. Any advice on what i should do?
Author MrSimple Posted January 7, 2012 Author Posted January 7, 2012 The rebound guy is sounding quite desparate to help me, but it is out of the blue~ Is this what they call feeling guilty that they did the wrong thing and finally woke up?
PoppyLove89 Posted January 10, 2012 Posted January 10, 2012 The rebound guy is sounding quite desparate to help me, but it is out of the blue~ Is this what they call feeling guilty that they did the wrong thing and finally woke up? Why is her rebound contacting you? I'm confused...
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