annabanana85 Posted December 22, 2011 Posted December 22, 2011 I met this guy in August and we started dating. For details, refer to : http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=295497 In the beginning he was very into me. He told me he really likes me a lot, kept taking me on nice dates, buying me flowers, showing me affection, etc.. He was the perfect guy. Then all of a sudden he told me that he just got out of an 8-year relationship a year ago (his fiancee cheated on him and left him for a guy that she met at the club) and he doesn't really know if he is ready for another relationship. So he told me that he needs a break and will contact me in a month to let me know. A month later, I txted him, he sent friendly responses back to my txts, nothing more. He also txted me over Thanksgiving, my birthday, etc... 2 weeks ago, I bumped into his best friend who told me that my ex is crazy about me and keeps talking about me all the time. He also told me that he wants to get back with me and he decided 3 weeks ago that he is not getting back with his ex girlfriend who had cheated on him. A couple of days later, my ex contacted me. We met for dinner, kissed, talked all night. He confessed that he had not told me the real reason for the previous break. And that during that break, he had gotten back to his ex girlfriend who was currently single. His ex gf had wanted to get back together after hearing that he had met me. He told me that they did not have sex and she told him that she does not love him and he did not feel chemistry with her, so they chose to split. He also told me that he will always love her but not in a romantic sort of way. He told me that he is crazy about me and wants to be with me. I will not be seeing him for 3 weeks because I left town for vacation. He e-mails me every other day but they are kind of formal (which is not that surprising - he is kinda shy). I am worried that he will go back to his ex again and that he is not over her still. What should I do? Should I trust him or let it go?
lululucy Posted December 22, 2011 Posted December 22, 2011 I would never consider going back with a man who dropped me for his ex and then asked for me back once that didn't work out -- he told you he was falling in love after a week? This relationship has red flags all over it. I have a feeling no matter what anyone says you will take him back but I would strongly urge you not to.
sugarmomma Posted December 22, 2011 Posted December 22, 2011 (edited) Did you forget he lied to you about the timeline in which he has been out the previous relationship? He put you on ice for months and now you're putting yourself in position to be screwed again. I thought you said the exgf was married. Which is it?? She wanted to get back together but told him she doesn't love him? What sense does that make? You need to go back and re read what you wrote. Wake up. He's not that into you if he can go and come like that. You seem really desperate and willing to settle for whatever crumbs he throws you. Google baggage reclaim Edited December 22, 2011 by sugarmomma
LSgirl Posted December 22, 2011 Posted December 22, 2011 Hmm, this sounds somewhat like mine. I met a guy a year ago who just got out of an 8 year relationship, he was engaged to his ex but broke up with her 3 months before we met because she cheated on him. She moved on with a girl, she's bisexual, and the two girls are still together. When we first got together, he was very romantic, affectionate (but didn't use the love word) he said he would always love her but would never get back together with her. The only difference between mine and your story is mine never went back to his. But I can tell you if he did, I would not have gone back to him if he dropped me once to go back to her. However, if you do decide to go back with him, be prepared for a roller coaster. These men are broken. Mine went through a very difficult time for himself, I tried to be there for him as much as possible, we're still together and it'll be be our one year anniversary in a couple weeks, but it wasn't easy in the beginning. It took months to not show any pain, he was reckless, told me he was still hurt and wasn't sure if he was ready for a relationship. I was hurt emotionally, he was emoionally unavailable, had a wall up, but he's not perfect now either, but now we're doing great. I know he'll always love her and be heartbroken inside, but if he is able to move on and when is a different story. It can take months, even years to be ready. My bf was not ready when we got together as he didn't take the time to heal, I took the risk, and I went through a lot of pain seeing him heartbroken, I'd always wonder if he'd go back with her but thankfully he never did. Please think about what you may go through like I did, he'll always have a place for her inside his heart, and he may very well still contact her time to time and bring her up as she was a big part of his life. But think about how he has already left you once, but at the same time, if you want to give this a chance with the possibility of being hurt, this is something you have to decide for yourself. I know what it feels like to want to give it a chance, even after the pain of losing him. My bf broke up with me a couple times when he was drunk after getting emotional about his ex, it hurt a lot. Now he doesn't talk about her and is new person, but it wasn't until recently, waited almost a year to get to where we are now. I hope this helps somewhat and good luck to you
Recommended Posts